Hi Ladies.
How is everyone. I thought I'd come back and update after being AWOL for a few days.
Things are not good here at the minute and tbh I had an absolute breakdown on Sunday, when I decided to drink myself into a stupor.
I went away for a couple of days as I thought this would take my mind off everything and stop me from thinking about the situation I am in, but it didn't really work and masking over things just made me wake with an aching feeling on Sunday, I could feel the emotional pain in my stomach if that makes sense.
Yesterday was bad, my gp called me early to see how the pregnancy was progressing with the prednisolone, so obviously I had to update her and she told me to come to surgery. When I got there I had to see a lovely male doctor, who more or less told me after this amount of losses and no children maybe I should give up and consider adoption!!!!!
I have been prescribed anti-depressants and please I do not want to hear comments about the harm this can do in future pregnancies, so I would respectfully ask that if anyone has any remarks or feelings regarding this, they keep them to themselves at this point.
After months of declining these despite my anxiety disorder brought on by this, I have accepted that I am not mentally strong enough to do this anymore without some help.
Rachel from Quenby's office called me this morning after hearing about events on Friday and we had a long chat about the prednisolone and my mental state at the moment.
She is concerned that if I start the prednisolone earlier in my cycle I could spend months on the steroids which isnt't good either.
So Quenby is going to call me Friday to see what kind of plan of action we can look at next.
I'm just feeling like I'm never going to get my happy ending and am going drive myself to the brink trying.
Does anyone have any experience of taking prednisolone earlier than BFP.
Anyway, I just needed to rant and hopefully soon I will be feeling much stronger and in a better place.
Hope all the BFP's are still doing well and my thoughts to everyone who has lost.
Thank you all for your support too, I don't know what I would do without ranting on here.
xxx