Run out of hope

[punk_pig]

My LO is 11weeks and I've been living in hope that breastfeeding will "get better as she gets older" but I have given up hoping this is ever going to happen. She falls asleep at every feed with the effort and time it takes to get the milk - and even when she doesn't she'll feed for an hour or more (but most of the time just doing small sucks) and still seem unsatisfied.

Everyone on this forum and people from NCT and LLL have been really supportive but this hoped for improvement just hasn't arrived. A few weeks ago I thought maybe my LO had started to feed better - her feeds didn't all last an hour and yet she seemed satisfied for a few hours BUT it hasn't lasted.

All weekend she kept squirming and pulling off the nipple and wouldn't even take the bottle, when she did take something her wind was so bad she couldn't settle AT ALL, which gave me no time to express. I think this has really messed with my supply as today she fed for an hour on me, then 30 mins later took 3oz bottle and it looked like she would have taken more.

I no longer believe that "as she gets bigger she'll be more able to suck effectively" or "it will just click" or anything else I've been holding on to over the past weeks. I'd like to feed exclusively expressed breast milk but I don't think I get enough when I pump. Just really depressed and can't believe that something I thought would be so wonderful has really brought me no pleasure.

 

[CeriB]

So sorry you're having such a tough time

Really not too sure what to say to help you or reassure you but you have done so amazing well to get this far! Babies tend to drink better/easier from a bottle as it is easier for them to suck on. Harder to BF.

I hope someone has some better words of wisdom for you, but if you decide to stop, you have already given LO a brilliant start and an amazing amount of BM already. I truely believe that breast is only best if it works.

Good luck hun

 

[summer rain]

I'm sorry hun, I have one more suggestion for you, cranial osteopathy as this can often help babies with an inefficient suck to develop a stronger one, but I believe otherwise you really have tried all you could and its incredible you have got this far. xx

 

[crazydiamond]

Have you tried breast compressions? My LO will comfort suck for hours if I don't do these. There is some information here and videos demonstrating on utube
https://www.drjacknewman.com/help/Breast-compression.asp

 

[vaileasmama]

I'm sorry hun, I have one more suggestion for you, cranial osteopathy as this can often help babies with an inefficient suck to develop a stronger one, but I believe otherwise you really have tried all you could and its incredible you have got this far. xx

i second this, have heard really good things about this, or chiropractics as well (not ur normal back cracker variety, a more gentle variety)
but otherwise, congrats for trying so hard, ur little one will appreciate it.
be kind to yourself

 

[iow_bird]

Aw honey, I'm sure it will get easier in time, I found once we got past the 3 month growth spurt things settled down for us. Breast feeding is hard work, you're doing amazingly by sticking with it x x x

 

[punk_pig]

Have you tried breast compressions? My LO will comfort suck for hours if I don't do these. There is some information here and videos demonstrating on utube
https://www.drjacknewman.com/help/Breast-compression.asp

Yep I do these too and if definately gives her a good few more full mouthfulls, but there always comes a point where she stops sucking and falls asleep. The feeds aren't an hour because she's comfort sucking (although she does do this at times) - it comprises waking her up, switching her round and repeatedly reattaching her.

Have you found a way of doing them without knackering your shoulders?? 11 weeks of looking down at LO listening for sucking with my arm up compressing the breast has really taken ts toll on my neck and shoulders and I'm getting really bad headaches.

 

[punk_pig]

I'm sorry hun, I have one more suggestion for you, cranial osteopathy as this can often help babies with an inefficient suck to develop a stronger one, but I believe otherwise you really have tried all you could and its incredible you have got this far. xx

i second this, have heard really good things about this, or chiropractics as well (not ur normal back cracker variety, a more gentle variety)
but otherwise, congrats for trying so hard, ur little one will appreciate it.
be kind to yourself

NCT mentioned this but said that it is usually suggested for forceps or similar delivery, as I had a natural delivery it wasn't thought to be useful. However I'm willing to try anything, how does one go about getting it?

 

[summer rain]

Its worth a shot even if you had a normal delivery; not all problems that can be helped with CO are caused by a forceps delivery, anyway I am sure a qualified practitioner would be able to advise if it may help or not.

https://www.cranial.org.uk/

 

[crazydiamond]

Have you tried breast compressions? My LO will comfort suck for hours if I don't do these. There is some information here and videos demonstrating on utube
https://www.drjacknewman.com/help/Breast-compression.asp

Yep I do these too and if definately gives her a good few more full mouthfulls, but there always comes a point where she stops sucking and falls asleep. The feeds aren't an hour because she's comfort sucking (although she does do this at times) - it comprises waking her up, switching her round and repeatedly reattaching her.

Have you found a way of doing them without knackering your shoulders?? 11 weeks of looking down at LO listening for sucking with my arm up compressing the breast has really taken ts toll on my neck and shoulders and I'm getting really bad headaches.

I do them using the cradle hold. LO lies on a pillow with his head on my elbow and I massage with my other hand. I do not do them routinely though as I am a bit lazy and like to use my right hand for looking at baby and bump! Also I tend just to do them just towards the end of the feed when I suspect he is comfort sucking to use it as a test to see if he will come off if he actually gets some milk.

I am also taking LO to a cranial osteopath for torticollis (shortened muscles in one side of the neck). He had a good birth but his neck was squashed due to his positioning in the womb - he was a big baby and I am quite small. I would definitely recommend it to you, I found out the reason why LO would only feed from one side was related to this and things have improved a bit after a couple of sessions.

 

[Evian260]

My LO is 11weeks and I've been living in hope that breastfeeding will "get better as she gets older" but I have given up hoping this is ever going to happen. She falls asleep at every feed with the effort and time it takes to get the milk - and even when she doesn't she'll feed for an hour or more (but most of the time just doing small sucks) and still seem unsatisfied.

Everyone on this forum and people from NCT and LLL have been really supportive but this hoped for improvement just hasn't arrived. A few weeks ago I thought maybe my LO had started to feed better - her feeds didn't all last an hour and yet she seemed satisfied for a few hours BUT it hasn't lasted.

All weekend she kept squirming and pulling off the nipple and wouldn't even take the bottle, when she did take something her wind was so bad she couldn't settle AT ALL, which gave me no time to express. I think this has really messed with my supply as today she fed for an hour on me, then 30 mins later took 3oz bottle and it looked like she would have taken more.

I no longer believe that "as she gets bigger she'll be more able to suck effectively" or "it will just click" or anything else I've been holding on to over the past weeks. I'd like to feed exclusively expressed breast milk but I don't think I get enough when I pump. Just really depressed and can't believe that something I thought would be so wonderful has really brought me no pleasure.

I'm going through the same thing right now... I am miserable...