Running out of time

[Saz100]

Hi Ladies,

Just want some re-assurance that I'm not going completely crazy! Am new on here so please bear with me.
In short I had a MMC at 12 weeks in Nov 09 then a MMC at 11 weeks in Nov 10. I am still trying for a successful pregnancy for my first and very much wanted child.
I have had day 3 and 21 blood tests and was told all was normal. My partner has a 5 year old child already. Thing is I have become totally obsessed with TTC and each month I set myself up for a fall during the 2WW.
All my friends have kids and everyone around me seems to be pregnant. My partners best friend announced the arrival of their baby on Saturday and I cried for a solid hour.
I am 35 and feel like I'm running out of time, my doctor just keeps saying go away and keep trying......aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhh!!
Please help I need to know there is hope for me as I can't imagine life without my own family!

 

[Macwooly]

So sorry you feel like time is running out for you

But I hope you will find this site as encouraging and inspirational as I have

Both myself and DH are 40 and TTC #1 (neither of us have children from other relationships) and when I joined this site I thought that my time was gone but hearing the stories of ladies who are 40+ getting pregnant really has helped me to continue trying.

I really hope you get your BFP soon and that it is a successful pregnancy

 

[Butterfly67]

Firstly Saz I want to say sorry about your MMCs

However, one thing that you can take from this is the fact that you ARE able to get pregnant so use that as a positive thing.

Secondly, although I know that at 35 it does feel like you are running out of time, you really are not! You just need to check out the BFPs coming through from the over 40's ladies to see that it still happens quite a bit after 40 (plus the lady, EviesMum who joined recently after having a baby at 47). So don't panic, you really do have time.

It's impossible to say not to get too worked up in the TWW as we all do it but just try not to build yourself up to think that this one will be the one, maybe think that one of the next 3 (on an ongoing basis) might be the one.

I wish you lots of luck and plus please don't think you are past it at 35!

 

[GlitterStar]

This might make you feel better my mum got Pregnant at 38 with my youngest brother and she smokes and he was fine hes 7 this year I also here other stories of women having babies alot older than what you are one lady had one in her sixtys that was pretty mental so just keep your hopes up think postive dont worry dont stress it will happen and when you finally do get there which you will! your baby will be a miracle baby x x x x

 

[booboo19]

I too feel that my time for another baby is running out, im 39 and we have been trying for a year now. I have now been refered to a gynocologist, whom i hope will help us ?

 

[Butterfly67]

Sorry Glitterstar but I have to disagree with you when you say it will be a miracle baby. That to me implies that it will be a miracle if it happens which is far from the case. There are already 4 BFPs in the June testers thread for over 35s and we are only on day 6 (and I'm sure at least 2 of those are over 40)!

 

[truly_blessed]

Saz, no way are you running out of time, or at least not for a long time yet. I too had MMC in Nov09 followed by 2 chemicals in Oct 10 and Mar 10. I had all the tests and so did DF in Jan this year and everything came back normal (apart from slight issue with that was sorted with zinc ans selenium supplements)

I'm 41 now and this will be our first, neither or us has any other children. I felt like I was running out of time at 35 but DF wasn't ready so I was 38 before we started TTC.

Don't listen to all the negative press about the 'over 35' myths, yes it takes a little longer but it still happens.

 

[Reb S]

Saz, you're not running out of time at all! Take a look at the TTC40 plus thread in groups - 2 babies born in the last two weeks!
PS Mcwooley - hi there! Your chart's looking good, I did a little stalk! Baby dust x

 

[Macwooly]

Thanks Reb. I desperately trying not to get my hopes up

 

[velo]

Hi and welcome! I am 37 and TTC #1 as well, but I have not had any pg so far. Its definitely a good sign you CAN get pg, and FX the next one will be the sticky bean! Still lots of time!

 

[FutureMommie]

I know what you mean, I'm 38 and sometimes I feel like I'm running out of time but we really have time. I just keep reminding myself that women are having babies later and later in life whether for career purposed or to be better prepared financially or mentally. I think we have been conditioned to think that it's all downhill with having kids after 35 and that is total b.s. Don't buy into it. At what point will your gyno referr you or look at other options?

 

[TiggerToo]

My sister had her first child at 36 and her second one - unplanned while breastfeeding the first (OOPS) at 38. I was born when my mother was 39. I'm 9 days shy of 38 and DH is 41 and we're TTC our first.

You're not out of time. (And sometimes every one of us here feels the same way, so you're OK, too.)

(BTW, all three of us were and are fine and perfectly healthy.)

 

[Lyvid]

Welcome Saz! Hope everyone has convinced you that you're not running out of time! If not I'll add my own bit of cheerleading. I just realized this weekend that my nanna had my uncle when she was 39 (I turn 39 in a few days) all natural! This group had 6 BFP's for April, 10 for May and we're off to a roaring start for June! FX'd that you'll be one of them!

 

[tigerlilly]

Hey Saz, im 38 and trying TTC #1! Please don't feel alone as you can see theres lots of us waiting for our BFP's. This is sucha great site and i'm glad that i found it at least i know i'm not crazy, a little obbsessed maybe, but not going crazy, lol.
I've found the media makes me feel worse by giving us the message that anyone over 30is passed making babies which is untrue and unfair. My gp has no issues with me TTc at 38. If it helps you feel any better my friend just had her first baby this year at 43. Big hugs

 

[Saz100]

Ladies, thank you all sooooo much for your supportive comments I'm so glad I found this site. I feel like my friends are fed up of me going on about ttc all the time and now I can join hundreds out there in the same boat. It's very inspirational reading all your stories and I am now looking forward instead of back (trying to at least!!).
My doctor told me to go away and enjoy the summer so guess that's what I'll do, if nothing happens after that she is going to refer me to hospital although she did say 90% of people referred for testing come back normal so your all right it's going to take a bit more time perhaps for us more mature ladies!!
Sorry to hear some of your stories too and here'[ hoping we all get our turn with a successful BFP soon.
Thanks again for all your support it's made me feel so much better xx

 

[truly_blessed]

Not sure if you do ovulation tests or anything similar but it would be useful to start then at least you are aware of the right time to conceive in your cycle. You can pick them up really cheap on amazon.

 

[Saz100]

This is another confusing issue....I was doing OPK's (not every month as too expensive) so I have an idea of when O takes place but my doctor said I shouldn't do them as they will make ttc more stressful!!! I might check out Amazon though and ignore her advice I personall ythink any hep is a bonus! Thanks for the tip x

 

[Butterfly67]

Good idea from TB - I just got a pack of 30 from Amazon for under £5 so i reckon they should last me a few months and even if you are not really trying then it is good to know when in your cycle you are likely to ovulate once you do get going.

 

[truly_blessed]

This is another confusing issue....I was doing OPK's (not every month as too expensive) so I have an idea of when O takes place but my doctor said I shouldn't do them as they will make ttc more stressful!!! I might check out Amazon though and ignore her advice I personall ythink any hep is a bonus! Thanks for the tip x

It is easy to get obsessed with different OPKs and Clearblue monitors, temps every morning, instead cups, vitamin b, soy etc the list is endless but it's all about how much is too much for you.

Personally I just had a clearblue monitor, for me peeing on a stick for a few days every cycle wasn't too much stress. I was ready for stopping using that due to the expense of the sticks and just using the cheap amazon OPKs. the clearblue monitor did teach me that my cycles were roughly 30 days and I ov'd around day 17, this was practically constant for 12 months so I was happy that I had a good idea of when the best time was for us. The cheap OPKs won't keep a history of your cycles like the monitor does but you can always write it down yourself.

I know that temping and all the other things would have been too stressful for me personally and I really admire all those who have the patience to get up and take their temp at the same time every day. So I'd take the doctor's advice and interpret it as you wish. x

 

[Saz100]

I totally agree the whole thing can get so clinical and I'm afraid OPK's are my limit don't think I could do the whole charting etc! From the few OPK's I did I know my O day is around CD16-18 of a 28-30 day cycle so have a good idea when the right time is to DTD! I guess it's upto nature now so will pray mine and all of you lovely ladies time is just around the corner x