Sad to be stopping exclusively expressing...

Ice Cold Cube

Mother of 2 and 3 angels
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Hi ladies

I'll be leaving this part of the forum soon as I've stopped expressing now :( That said, I was always more of a lurker than a poster!

I'm really pleased to have managed to express for ten weeks, given that he just would not breastfeed from me, but unfortunately all the pumping has just got too much for me now. Things started to go downhill when I ate a curry a few weeks ago and it didn't agree with Alex. I ditched all the milk I expressed the following day in case that would upset him too, and soon had to start dipping into my freezer reserves when Alex hit on a growth spurt and wanted to eat constantly. His appetite is now huge, and I can't keep up with him. He's been progressively getting more and more bottles of formula for the past few weeks to supplement my milk. He's also awake for longer periods during the day, making it very difficult to pump, and to be honest I'd much rather play with him whenever I want to, than be tied to a double pumping machine instead.

So with much regret I won't be pumping again :( I've wound it down gradually, so as to not suffer from any blocked ducts etc. Things seem to be ok on that front. I just feel so sad that my wish of breastfeeding for at least six months has not worked out :( I did try very hard at the start but Alex would not feed from me at all. He was born by section, and had to be treated for jaundice, so he was extremely sleepy for the first few days, would not feed at all and lost over 10% of his birth weight. It was vital he put on weight and put it on quickly, as he was a low birth weight baby to begin with, so instead of giving him formula in hospital to bulk him up, I started my expressing journey and was lucky to be blessed with a good supply from the off. Unfortunately though, Alex developed a love for the bottle (and a very strong suck!) and simply would not take to breastfeeding afterwards - no matter how many times I tried.

Anyway, I'm rambling! Thanks for all the advice and support, and I wish you all a long and happy breastfeeding/expressing journey of your own :)

Laura x
 
It's ok to be sad, but don't feel bad. You have done very well! You should be so proud - expressing is hard work and you have given him a fabulous start. Enjoy your LO - the time seems to fly by - just yesterday my LO was 10 weeks and now she's 10 months! :hugs:
 
Way to go and good for you for persevering 10 weeks. From my understanding exclusively pumping can be a lot of work and you should be proud of yourself for giving LO the best start. Hugs
 
you have given your baby the best start in life! well done you for preaservng! i know i couldnt have.
 
Laura - I take my hat off to you for expressing for 10 weeks. I've expressed for 4 weeks but my supply has not been good despite following all the advice and taking domperidone. I've been supplementing with formula for the past 10 days or so and am now using nearly all formula. I'm expressing a couple of times daily just to avoid risk of mastitis but will be stopping altogether over the next few days. I know how you feel about stopping - I'm still beating myself up about it and not being able to breast feed. I had no idea how emotive I would find this and the deep impact it's had on me. I can appreciate that if not careful it could cause a spiral into post natal depression - I'm vigilant of that and have had loads of support. Good luck to you - your lo has had a fantastic start thanks to your perseverance and will be happy and healthy however he's fed.
 
Yes, I really hate it when exclusively pumping is promoted as an option / solution - it's often a great way to stop the HCPs in question feeling guilty! If there's a way to get baby back to breast, that is often far, far preferable.

There are some situations where exclusive pumping and bottlefeeding is a good way forward.... I don't deny it .... but I think it's over promoted and the very real difficulties are underestimated. It is so very, very hard!

Exclusive pumping mummies really get my admiration! Well done on keeping going for ten weeks.

Melanie
 
Seriously 10 weeks is incredible. Well done you. Trying to build and maintain a supply with a pump was something I personally found impossible, I am in awe of anyone who manages it for any period of time!
 
It's ok to be sad, but don't feel bad. You have done very well! You should be so proud - expressing is hard work and you have given him a fabulous start. Enjoy your LO - the time seems to fly by - just yesterday my LO was 10 weeks and now she's 10 months! :hugs:

Thank you. And it's so true - the past ten weeks have just gone by in a blur!

Laura x
 
Way to go and good for you for persevering 10 weeks. From my understanding exclusively pumping can be a lot of work and you should be proud of yourself for giving LO the best start. Hugs

Thank you. Yes it was hard work but I found it so rewarding - especially when in the hospital they asked me to choose a formula because they didn't think I'd be able to give him enough from expressed milk alone - and we didn't need any in the end! The constant washing, sterilising and pumping takes forever though :(

Laura x
 
you have given your baby the best start in life! well done you for preaservng! i know i couldnt have.

Thank you, but part of me thinks I should have done ever more to get breastfeeding established. I did really try, and it just never worked, but I remember going to a breastfeeding workshop before Alex was born and they said that every baby CAN breastfeed and ALL obstacles can be overcome. I don't know how true that is, but it makes me feel incredibly guilty.

Laura x
 
Laura - I take my hat off to you for expressing for 10 weeks. I've expressed for 4 weeks but my supply has not been good despite following all the advice and taking domperidone. I've been supplementing with formula for the past 10 days or so and am now using nearly all formula. I'm expressing a couple of times daily just to avoid risk of mastitis but will be stopping altogether over the next few days. I know how you feel about stopping - I'm still beating myself up about it and not being able to breast feed. I had no idea how emotive I would find this and the deep impact it's had on me. I can appreciate that if not careful it could cause a spiral into post natal depression - I'm vigilant of that and have had loads of support. Good luck to you - your lo has had a fantastic start thanks to your perseverance and will be happy and healthy however he's fed.

As has your LO, and will be too :) Thanks for your kind words x
 
Yes, I really hate it when exclusively pumping is promoted as an option / solution - it's often a great way to stop the HCPs in question feeling guilty! If there's a way to get baby back to breast, that is often far, far preferable.

There are some situations where exclusive pumping and bottlefeeding is a good way forward.... I don't deny it .... but I think it's over promoted and the very real difficulties are underestimated. It is so very, very hard!

Exclusive pumping mummies really get my admiration! Well done on keeping going for ten weeks.

Melanie

Thank you. For me, exclusive pumping was the best option at the start, as Alex was rapidly loosing weight, would not feed because he was jaundiced and we needed to get known quantities into him to help clear the jaundice and break the cycle. I also liked the freedom that offering expressed milk gave me. It meant my OH could help feed, which was crucial when I was ill with post partum hypertension and a suspected TIA.

Interestingly no one ever promoted it as an option to me - in fact I was told that it wouldn't be possible to keep it going. Support for breastfeeding in my area is really fantastic, and I was offered lots of help in the hospital and when I got back home.

Laura x
 
Seriously 10 weeks is incredible. Well done you. Trying to build and maintain a supply with a pump was something I personally found impossible, I am in awe of anyone who manages it for any period of time!

Thank you. At the start I was really lucky to have a great supply. I think that comes down mainly to luck, to be honest. I was able to pump so much in the early days that when I took my EBM to the midwifes to put in the hospital fridge, one joked that Christmas much have come early for Alex!

Laura x
 
I totally understand your situation. My LO is 7 weeks and is struggling with breast feeding. We been to 3 lactation consultants and the lache league here in town. She gets 90% expressed and just doesnt like breast feeding. She was induced because of low birth weight and I was encouraged pumping because she need to gain weight. She doesnt even like the bottle that much too. Expressing is such hard work.
 
Wow, well done for getting to 10 weeks, that's amazing! :)

Stick around though, I'd say you could help loads of mummies with your pumping experience :hugs:
 

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