Sat crying - fed up

[Lauraaraa]

i am sat on my own as always, crying, sick of being on my own all th damn time.

no i know it isnt my bfs fault he is having to do training for marines but i never see him and it is making me question whether i should be with him, i am practically on my own now as he doesnt help me one bit. so i am left broke every month.

was ment to move back north to bbe near family and to have baby up there but not now, i am staying here, been looking at places to rent and i cant afford to move again just cant.

sent mam a text earlier telling her this and she hasnt even mentioned it so that confirms to me that i am staying here.

i cant afford to pay my bills, nothing, just fed up.
cant believe my life has turned out this way

only good thing right now is baby, but cant even feel happy coz i have so much worry going on around me in my life.

i am with a guy who is selfish and doesnt see that i am struggling, well he does know i am but tells me to get on with it, my mam just says sort what ever it is thats wrong - sort it, am sorryy mam but if i couldnt i bloody would doesnt she think that?!

feel so ill, tired, and just like crap.
got stupid chesty cough, so now got a sore throat from all th coughing.

at my wits end. feel like running away when i have been paid. just cancelling all direct debits and going. not sure where i would go but just going.
just cant cope no more - tried to get help regarding money probs but no one seems to want to help!
i cant pull money out of my ass, if i could i defo would.

just feel like a major failure.

just waiting for the next obstacle life throws at me,

 

[miss cakes]

hey just wondered why the change of plan? why arent you moving back with your family i remember your other threads and it seemed like the best thing for you x

 

[caz_hills]

Oh no. My heart goes out to you when I have read your post - sending you lots of hugs )

Have you seen your GP as that may help? I know it feels like things are awful at the moment but you have your wonderful baby due in less than 15 weeks which is so exciting and you will have so much going on with the baby!

Have you met any other Mum's through classes or baby stuff as I've heard that is a great way to meet people and talk things through?

I don't know what to say but I wanted to reply to let you know that things will get better. x

 

[Lauraaraa]

hey just wondered why the change of plan? why arent you moving back with your family i remember your other threads and it seemed like the best thing for you x

just coz of money not being able to afford to put down anothe bond and pay th admin fees and rent all in one go like you hve to when you move.

bf wont help as he isnt that way inclined, selfish he is

his mam said that he should help and she will happily remind him but i dont want that. just feel like telling him to sod off. hasnt helped me so far

havent got anything for baby yet and he said he would get things with me before he went, tht wont happen tho - i know what he is like

 

[alilou151]

Im the same hun my hubby is away on a 4 mth tour so Im sat on my own every night bored out my tree! im in the forces too so I can understand a bit more that thats how it is but still not easy especially being pregnant too. Can you not go & stay with your mam for a while? Im from the north east & keep going back just for something to do! Where do you live now?

 

[Lauraaraa]

caz_hills - i just keep trying to focus on baby but sometimes it all gets to much for me and i get really down

going to see doc again on monday, and just see if i can talk to someone, i thought i could do it on my own without having to see anyone but i dont think i can now.

wow when you said 15weeks til she is here made me realise that it isnt long at all. thats crazy! but good though.

i will be ok will just get on with it like i always do, but hate having money probs as never had, makes me more madder as i moved here in the first place to be near to bf and this is th thanks i get!!

 

[miss cakes]

he damn well should help! your in a relationship together your having his baby he shouldnt just go off and leave you like that he should have made sure things are sorted for you n baby before he goes off the selfish bugger im not surprised your upset you must feel so unsettled you should tell him he needs to cough up the money to help you move xx

 

[caz_hills]

Just remmeber 15 weeks is not long - it's so exciting! Hope you're ok and take care of yourself.

 

[Lauraaraa]

Im the same hun my hubby is away on a 4 mth tour so Im sat on my own every night bored out my tree! im in the forces too so I can understand a bit more that thats how it is but still not easy especially being pregnant too. Can you not go & stay with your mam for a while? Im from the north east & keep going back just for something to do! Where do you live now?

i hate it so much! he is going away for 6mnths in march, all this training before hand is just a taster for it i guess.

being preegnant makes it sadder for me - tihnk coz i see her kicking and he isnt there to see it either. i do tell him over text but he doesnt seem at all interested, just doesnt reply. so i think ok then.

i dont know if i can stay with her, she wont let me, as she has a new partner now who has two twin girls who are 6 so they stay there some weekends and have their own room and one of my bro's is there so no room for me
and my mam is good at making me feel in the way, when i stayed for a week at xmas she did it and got to th point where i ws glad to go

and not close to other family members either

 

[Lauraaraa]

live in south west now x

 

[Lauraaraa]

Just remmeber 15 weeks is not long - it's so exciting! Hope you're ok and take care of yourself.

i didnt realise it was just 15weeks!!!

i remember how quick th first 15weeks of pregnancy went

am excited, want all to be sorted for when she arrives think thats what gets to me alot

 

[Lauraaraa]

he damn well should help! your in a relationship together your having his baby he shouldnt just go off and leave you like that he should have made sure things are sorted for you n baby before he goes off the selfish bugger im not surprised your upset you must feel so unsettled you should tell him he needs to cough up the money to help you move xx

feel very unsettled, he never reassures me or puts my mind at ease, just get the 'theres plent of time' line, what that means to me is he will go and will not have anything sorted.

he is more interested in his mates and going out getting drunk and what not.

never know where i am with him and when my mam says he should be helping you i feel stupid, he makes me feel like me and baby are a burden to him because she wasnt planned etc.

but i didnt create her on my own thats for sure.

i will see what he says when i see him when he is back from training, but i wont hold my breath

 

[miss cakes]

sounds like he needs a reality check wether the baby was planned or not it wont be long before shes here he cant just carry on the way he is forever without helping you at all you may aswell just split up if hes gonna be like that and you can sort yourself out n go your own way rather than hanging on waiting for his next move all the time x

 

[caseylin]

awww... i feel similar and i kno its hard.
my bf is in school everyday from 9 til 2 and then work from 2 to 1AM. I dont see him unless its the middle of the night and he's sleeping beside me. Its kinda crappy, and I get super emotional about it and I work too, only like 4 days a week and am in school. but I have to work every weekend, when he's OFF. WORK BLOWS

 

[Lauraaraa]

miss cakes - agreed. i feel tht exact way.
just think if i wasnt with him would be easier as wouldnt have this constant wondering!
he is able to contct me now as his phone has died and i have actually liked it.
when ever i do talk to him i get angry with him as i hate how he is with me


going to tell him straight when i next see him as this isnt healthyy

 

[caarmywife]

Aww that sucks, I am so sorry you are in such a state.

Just a thought- I know here in the US, (my hubby is army) and if a soldier/marine is having a baby there are ways to make sure he is helping out, regardless of if you are married. I am not sure how it is where you are, or if it would make things worse. But I am willing to bet if you look into it, there might be something to at least help with end of things. Hugs!

 

[miss cakes]

miss cakes - agreed. i feel tht exact way.
just think if i wasnt with him would be easier as wouldnt have this constant wondering!
he is able to contct me now as his phone has died and i have actually liked it.
when ever i do talk to him i get angry with him as i hate how he is with me


going to tell him straight when i next see him as this isnt healthyy

good its better to just have it out with him rather than stressing on your own about it while he swans about without a clue maybe he will surprise you and actually do something about it if not then least you know where you stand xx

 

[Feemee]

just want to send
he sounds like a dick that needs to sort himself out!! i know what its like to be on ur own my OH is a long distants lorry driver so is away all week.

keep ur chin up xx