SB22's rocky relationship UPDATE: Girls,what do i do now?

[Pyrrhic]

Sorry, tell him to fucking man up.

Makes me angry that you have enough on your plate with being pregnant and going through everything to do with it, and he is being a total pansy.

'Ehhhhh you said something mean and hurt my feelings. I'm going to run away'

Is he 12?

Sorry, am annoyed for you!

 

[AP]

I know. he's wrapped up in his own world and thinks he's right. my Mum wants to give him an ear bashing, and honestly I just dont know what to think.

How can he leave someone for so long if he says he loves them?

Na, I dont buy it somehow!

 

[GersPrincess]

Gosh, how many cutting remarks can you make? Doesnt he understand its a by-product of pregnancy? I've been a pure bitch this past week, but its nothing I can stop.
Has he given you no indication of what he wants to work out other than blaming it on your cutting remarks? He cant lay the whole blame at your feet, its not fair xxx

 

[AP]

Clearly he just doesnt get it!!!!

I am falling to bits here. I had to take tomorrow off, but OH doesnt know so if he happens to turn up here he'll get a shock.

He obviously doesnt get the stress it puts on baby either, but then again, if he doesnt care about me, why the fuck would he care about baby.

i think the longer he stays away, the more inclined I will be to not care a bit anymore. I think soon I will gel with baby even more and realised that the two of us will be fine without him.

 

[impatient1]

I am so sorry you are going through this. I hope that everything works out for you and your LO you don't deserve this. Best of luck with everything!

 

[AP]

I must admit the idea of my cousin lurking in the bushes its killing me right now!

It was so well planned and timed, with the aid of Google Maps Street View, i phoned my cousin and sent him on his misson.

We are always up to these schemes. my best mate was surprised she hadnt thought of it before.

All i hoped was that i could get a bit of confirmation.

he never text back to the previous text, by the way

 

[KJunkie]

Wow, I am so sorry. I know that me and my OH have problems with him not coming home and crashing at a friends house because he gets too drunk ... but, I mean I don't think I could deal with him just saying he doesn't know that he wants to be with me or not and get tossed around all the time. I definitely feel for you. I know that you are having hard time with it. I don't know if it is better for you to just leave him or be with him ... I think if I were you I would be so lost. Best of luck darling!!

 

[abigail_71]

Make your own plans. You moving out could be a wake up call for him and if its not probably nothing would be anyway. Don't use it as a threat, just go and be prepared for it to just be you and baby. Sometimes when you act strong you become strong, and you sound like you are strong enough for both you and baby anyway to me. xx

 

[AP]

well, i woke up today and ive had enough. i texted him to ask him if he wanted to sort things out today. i said if he doesnt reply, i will take it as a no and start to go. i am also going to go back to the council today and stamp my feet until i get someone to help today, not frikken two weeks down the line.

 

[edinsam]

aw hun massive hugs. This is a nightmare for you. At least in my situ this nutter of mine was like I dont want this - I dont want you (even though I love you) and I'm offski

I tend to agree with Abigail above, I think you need to do something to make him realise how serious you are? you cant continue not knowing where you stand. Its ridiculous.

Im a bit worried for you if hes like this just now and you do decide to give him another chance then what if he dissappears again in 2 months time.

Now I am a great believer in trying to make it work - god it has taken me 2 months of trying to make it work with mine before I have given in! but you have given this man tons of time. I would say do something pro active to show him you are serious and see what happens then

Great believer in my sayings as you know

So here's one

"If you love someone set them free
If they come back they are back for good
If they never come back then they were never trully yours to start with"

PM me any time you want to chat hun

Keep us posted

Sam
xxx

 

[AP]

Cheers Sam

I went to the council today and the wifey at reception was reluctant to give me an appointment. Well i wasnt going anywhere, so i finally got a nice lady to talk to for an hour.

Because of the situation, she explained that she will register me to bid for housing and I have priority because of baby. There was different ways i could get a house, although quite a few would be pricey until baby is here and the benefits kick in.

Hormones took a right hold of me when i tried to eplain the situation and I broke down in tears.

OH text me while I was there, saying he did want to sort this out but 'just needed some time and would be back tomorrow. love u so much.x'

So i texted him back saying if he did love me, he'd be here and I wouldnt be crying in front of a council officer.

I got no reply from that so I texted him again telling him he either seen me today to sort things or never. I am adamant now. i feel a little stronger.

So the deal is, I stay here, til I get something. if I an im desperate need and he literally throws me out, i'll land up in temp accomodation.

 

[AP]

Oh and I forgot to add, the Officer told me I should be wary that legally I can be entitled to part of the house now I have been here for 4 years. interesting.....

 

[faun]

I am so sorry that you are having to go through all this but i think you are doing the right thing in getting your own place to live. Once you live in your own place if you still want to make things work take it slowly go on dates with no sleep overs get to know each other again treat it as you would a new relationship. I think you will be a fantastic mummy with or without him and you definately don't need the stress this situation is causing you.

 

[AP]

Thanks Faun, I really worry what on earth this is doing to the baby.

 

[jessica rabbi]

wow what a ass if you dont mind me saying .. i really cnt immagen its doing any good at all to the baby or you .. me n my OH have been going through a bit of a rough patch at the mo .. when i talk to him he dunt want to no .. he's snappy n mardy .. n phhh i no abit about how you feeling we dont live to gether i live at home n so does he i see him every nite so really it is a bit like i live with him in a way..we been having meetings with the council and they seem as tho they dont care ..i want mad a OH cus he blew his top n started goin on bout if we was imigrents wed have a 5 bedroom house on the coucil all paid for the nex day .. he's rite in a way .... lol

well i just wanted to say .. i hope that dam stubben fella of yours see's sense n see's what he is puttin you and his unborn child through n stops thinking of his self as ther is 3 of you to think about now its hard enough been pregnanat with out the extra pressure of that



xxxx

 

[djgirl1976]

Thanks Faun, I really worry what on earth this is doing to the baby.

Aww hun, , how awful for you to still be dealing with this, a month or more later!
Just try to stay as positive as you can that you are making a smart decision by looking out for yourself and LO by, at the very least, having a "back up" plan.
I know you want things to be ok and back to normal, but it sounds like you know, as well as the rest of us, that the insecurity you are feeling by all this is not good for you and LO.

Take care of yourself...and keep being strong!

 

[AP]

Trying hard not to text him seeing as I gave his theultimatum, but no reply. it's like he doesn't care.

I left him one more text "She must mean a lot more to you than we do.

B&B my arse. I'll know for sure when he comes back tomorrow with or without his belongings that he took with him!

 

[GersPrincess]

Oh sweets, I am so sorry he is still putting you through this.
Whether or not you stay where you are or go into temp accom, you should still be on the homeless housing list because legally you do not have to be roofless to be homeless. It sounds to me as though the council are trying their best, as all councils do to not house you as urgently as they should.
Whilst it's true that you could have some entitlement to your OH's place, you're not on the tenancy, and if the landlord decided he wanted you out, there is basically nothing you could do about it.
Hardly a secure environment, and not much better than what you're living in now.

You must be so confused, i cant see how he says he loves you but then says he needs time, have you found out what he needs time for? x

 

[AP]

Hey Gersprincess,

Shagging maybe? i dunno.....

I will get priority because of my due date etc, they said. i have to start bidding as soon as I get my reference number, which will be next week. In the meantime, if he does get back and throws me out, i have to call the emergency line to get somewhere to stay. thsi is available 24/7.

I've realised he's not getting my texts. i stuck my delivery reports on and sent another saying the least he could do is fucking call. The delivery report never came back, which means he has had his phone switched off. i have no idea how long for either.

I typed up a letter for him and it seemed to de-stress me. i dunno if I will give it to him though, if he really does come back tomorrow.

Thanks for all your advice so far, I am feel like I am in bits.

 

[precious-gift]

hey, im sorry your going through this, it must be awful not knowing where you stand.

i can relate to the hurt you are going through, its been 8 weeks since i found out my husband had been having an affair, he has left me for her! many people have said that he may be scared of being a father i really don't know just have to wait and see how he reacts when baby is here, but it'd be too late by then. maybe your OH is scared of becoming a dad, i really can't understand men at all, why they would put us through so much hurt, especially when pregnant.

getting nowhere with council, as there is a huge waiting list, noticed your in scotland so im i, aberdeenshire. had to move in with my parents meantime.

hope you can work things out
xxx