*Scan tomorrow* Not even 5 weeks and already worried.....

Discussion in 'Gender Disappointment' started by mazndave, Dec 30, 2013.

  1. mazndave

    mazndave Mummy of 1 + bump!

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    I have a 14 month old son who I love to bits, but before we had our 20 week scan I'd wanted a girl. I KNEW in my heart it was a boy, but it didn't stop me from being upset when I found out. I soon came round though, and I wouldn't change him for the world now he's here and such a fantastic little boy.

    I've just found out I'm expecting again, and this time it wasn't planned. We weren't going to start trying until late 2014 and we were planning on trying gender swaying to try and influence getting a girl. I'm now convinced that because fate has stepped in, it's definitely going to be another boy. I know once he's here I'll love him just as much as I do my son, but I know when the sonographer says boy I'll be absolutely crushed. This will probably be our last child, and the thought of never being able to pick out girlie outfits, style my daughters hair, take her to ballet lessons and help her pick a wedding dress, absolutely devastates me. 'A daughter is yours for life, a son is yours until he takes a wife'. At the age of 30 I'm still close to my mum and spend the day with her etc, my husband wouldn't do this with his mum. I want to be able to have that relationship with a daughter.

    I've said to my mum before that I don't think I'll ever have a girl, and she says I'm silly - I don't know what I'll have and there's as much chance of having a girl as there is a boy. I know this is statistically correct, but I just know in my heart I'll never get my girl.....:nope:
     
  2. Eleanor ace

    Eleanor ace Well-Known Member

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    Aw hun! I felt like you, that I would never get a girl. I love my DS to pieces and knew I'd love a 2nd son just as much but that doesn't take the desire for a daughter away! We didn't sway but I read about it (whilst already pregnant) and realised I'd done a pretty good job of (unintentionally) swaying for a boy! My diet, when we DTD in relation to ovulation, even the position LO was conceived in :haha:. But we were blessed with a girl :) - although swaying can help you to get your dream gender, not swaying doesn't make you more likely to have a boy, so try to put the whole sway thing out of your mind if you can! :hugs:
     
  3. proudparent88

    proudparent88 Well-Known Member

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    I know exactly how you feel because I am there right now too. I want a girl so I can do the cute clothes ect but in my heart I also feel it's my third boy! It does seem to crush you and things but you never know until later. I know it's hard to convince yourself to not feel upset because I feel everyone has their own little thing they want. I was lucky and got two things I did want out of each pregnancy with my two boys the first I got my boy the second I got my August baby so I try to think maybe this time I will get something I want again. I know it's not easy but try not to panic too quickly one nice thing about thinking it's a boy is that if it is a girl you will have a great surprise! Hope you get what you want I know this is never easy! We are here for you honey! Just remember you and baby are healthy that is really all that matters! :hugs:
     
  4. Misscalais

    Misscalais Well-Known Member

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    Totally know how you feel.
    I'm on boy #3. 1st two babies were planned, I just presumed I'd have a son and a daughter. Well yeah I was wrong lol this baby was not planned ( very much wanted though ) we'd tried ( and swayed ) for 12 mths, 2 early losses, stopped trying and decided we'd try again in February after having an overseas holiday.
    So I was worried as soon as that test turned pos and we are definitely having another little boy. I'm good with it now, but I was really upset at the thought I will never have a daughter.
    Lots of :hugs: to you I hope bub is a girl but of not I'm sure another little boy will bring you as much joy. X
     
  5. Jembug

    Jembug Well-Known Member

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    Hug Hun xxxx
    I have three girls and feel very blessed but I know my husband is sad he doesn't have a son.. And never will.
    Hope know one Is offended by this but my middle child was a 'surprise' until birth and when I looked at when she was conceived and all that she was meant to be a 'boy'.
    So I really think that trying to gender swaying doesn't really work????
    When she was born I asked my husband what she was and he said girl and I couldn't even look at him as I knew how sad he was she wasn't a boy :(
    But of course he wouldn't change out girls at all.
    Just wanted to offer hugs xxx
     
  6. truthbtold

    truthbtold Well-Known Member

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    As a mom of 3 sons I know how you feel. We will probably find out the gender around the same time so I more than willing to throw a pitty party with you (hugs)
     
  7. Sunseal

    Sunseal Well-Known Member

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    I'm exactly where you are now.. I think I'm barely 5 weeks yet and all I can think is "please be a girl, please be a girl."
    I already have a little boy, he's 3 soon and I'm done with jeans and sweatshirts. I want tights and dresses. I'm sure if he does turn out to be another boy, it'll be okay in the end, but I will feel crushed to begin with! My partner only wants 2 kids so if this one isn't a girl, I doubt I'll get to have one :'(
     
  8. MissBroody

    MissBroody Well-Known Member

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    I know how you're feeling hun. I've always wanted a girl and my heart sank a bit when we were told Reuben was a boy. He's our last and I "mourned" for a few weeks. I wanted a daughter, I wanted to be a mother of the bride..do my little girls hair and pick out dresses etc.. But now I am completely ok with my two lovely boys, and being a "soccer mum". I'm the princess of the house and will have two strapping sons to take care of me. Reuben is the sweetest, cuddliest mummy's boy - I wouldn't change him for the world. I do still get twinges of sadness when I see girly clothes or a friend announces the birth of a daughter. Then I think about how lucky I am to have two perfectly healthy, amazing cheeky little boys. It's also great having two boys - they are best buds, they share toys & play , I dress them the same..
    Don't fret - what was meant to be will be. You may still get your girl! And if you don't, you will come round to it, you will love having two boys I promise you xx
     
  9. MissBroody

    MissBroody Well-Known Member

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    Ps - just saw your scan pic & I don't think you need to worry lol that's soo a girl! X
     
  10. mazndave

    mazndave Mummy of 1 + bump!

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    Thanks, think I've had about 12 people say it's a girl from scan pic and no boy guesses! That makes me more inclined to think boy though lol.

    I know I'll love him no matter what if it's a boy, if he's anything like Seth he'll be amazing! Will just need time to get my head around it, and get over the fact I can't buy cute dresses! xx
     
  11. Jembug

    Jembug Well-Known Member

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    Are you going to find out? We did for Shaun's sanity.
    In fact I booked a private scan at 16 weeks without him knowing but he found the letter, he wasn't impressed. So I had to tell him it was another girl and he was moody for the rest of the day. A few nights on, whilst at work he texted me a girls name and that's what we chose, so I knew he was fine really.
    Xx
     
  12. mazndave

    mazndave Mummy of 1 + bump!

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    Yeah Jem, I'm getting a scan done at 16+3 on 22nd March. I didn't see the point in it last time as it's only 4 more weeks to NHS scan, but this time I literally cannot wait that long!

    I've had 25 girl guesses and 0 boy guesses on my scan pic, talk about getting my hopes up if they're wrong!! xx
     
  13. Jembug

    Jembug Well-Known Member

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    If your not announcing be sure to tell me :) I have no idea about nub guessing or whatever it's called. Goodluck for scan and most importantly I hope it's a healthy bubba.
    I saw ruby in 3d at 16 weeks, she looked like a mouse. But I loved her so much, she was even sucking her thumb. So amazing when there just so tiny x
     
  14. mazndave

    mazndave Mummy of 1 + bump!

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    I'll definitely let you know Jem, won't be telling any family or friends that we're having an early scan though, they can wait til 20 weeks! I can't be doing with the disappointment from others if it's a boy, when I've only just found out myself. I'll feel guilty as it is for feeling bad about it, so don't need them making me feel worse! At least this way if it's a boy I've got 4 weeks to get my head around it and get used to it before anyone else has to know. Already had plenty of comments along the lines of I bet you want a girl, it must be a girl etc etc so I know things will get said like oh that's such a shame, maybe next time and so on..... xx
     
  15. truthbtold

    truthbtold Well-Known Member

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    Your nub looks extremely girly. I have high hopes for you
     
  16. Jembug

    Jembug Well-Known Member

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    When I told Shaun's mum ruby was a girl, she 'oh well never mind' I was soooo mad at her for feeling disappointed. Fine if we are as parents but not her.
    Can't exist to hear your news :) xx
     
  17. mazndave

    mazndave Mummy of 1 + bump!

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    I have an early gender scan tomorrow, and I'm papping myself!! Over the last 4 or so weeks I've been convinced I'm having a girl. Almost 60 people have guessed girl from the nub visible in my scan pic. I just know that tomorrow I'm going to hear boy. I've been trying so hard not to get my hopes up, but I've failed miserably and it's going to hit me like a ton of bricks if I don't get the girl I've been dreaming about. I almost feel like cancelling the scan just so I can cling on to the dream for longer. I know it's a 50/50 chance and I can't be certain of anything until it's been confirmed, but I'm so sure that I'm just not lucky enough to get what I want (although I know I'm lucky that I can have babies when others can't, and hopefully another healthy one)

    I know so many people that wanted girls and wouldn't have been happy with boys, they got what they wanted. Why are some people luckier than others?!
     
  18. MeAndMyShadow

    MeAndMyShadow Mommy To Zachary And Sean

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    Hope you hear pink today xx
     
  19. Eleanor ace

    Eleanor ace Well-Known Member

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    Good luck at your scan!
     
  20. motherofboys

    motherofboys Mum of 4 boys. Baby 5 due April

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    Hope you heard girl
     

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