Scared about tomorrows scan

[Hopefulk]

I can see this post will resemble the ramblings of a mad woman!

I have my fifth scan tomorrow and should be twelve weeks and I'm petrified! I last had a scan in 10th may and bubbaloo was fine with a healthy hb (my ob/gyn never tells us the rate) and measured 10+2 which was perfect from the scan before.

I know the statistics for a live healthy baby after seeing hb at 10weeks are 99.4% but it doesn't help. Ob/gyn also mentioned she thinks I may have a bicornuate uterus when I last saw her so that's playing on my mind.

I'm just a wreck and have been since bfp The good news of each scan has made me happy for about two hours and then I'm already thinking the result is history and doesn't mean anything anymore. At each scan I'm more scared because I have more to lose. When will this end? When will I join in the threads about names, pushchairs, breast v bottle thoughts? When will I be able to believe I'm going to have a baby?!?!?!?!!!!!

I'm also fed up of people saying its a good sign I have symptoms... It hasn't been for my last two pregnancies! I know people try to be kind and I appreciate it - I'm just a hormonal witch at the moment who is wound up by anything... Mostly the unknown and lack of control that come with pregnancy (or mine anyway - so many others seem to sail through!)

I don't expect a response... I'm just struggling to sleep and wanted to get these thoughts out (and if anybody will understand my ramblings, it's most likely you ladies)

I hope you all sleep well. Sorry for moaning.xx

 

[livinginhope]

You shouldn't need to apologise for posting your thoughts like this! I think a lot of us know *exactly* where you're coming from and have nothing but sympathy and understanding for such worries...

I myself had an 8-week scan on 11th May (and as you did, saw a lovely healthy heartbeat), but has it stopped me worrying? Of course not! Currently I'm trying to stay sane until my '12 week' scan (I don't know when that'll be yet, no word either from the hospital about a scan, or the midwives about my booking in appointment). Sometimes I manage to feel sane, sometimes I don't!

I've only *just* started to think ahead in a positive way, but I'm kind of loath to do it just in case... I'll have moments of excitement, then a sinking feeling in case I get bad news and things don't work out after all... it just seems further to fall emotionally-speaking. I have a feeling this is perfectly normal though, as I've read several posts on here about ladies who feel like that.

I do hope you managed to get some sleep, late-night worrying is just the *worst* cos the tiredness always makes that last bit of rationality soooo difficult to hang onto! I really hope you're feeling better this morning, I'll be thinking of you today, and hoping you get good news XXXXXX

 

[holymoly]

Hi Hopeful, I think our pregnancies are running in tandem. Everytime I see a post on here with worries almost exactly the same as mine it's from you! You're a few days ahead of me but I think so far we've had scans at exactly the same stage in our pregnancies, I've got my 12 week on Monday.

I also have a bicornuate uterus, stay away from google on this. I've known about mine since my first pregnancy and I've asked EVERY single sonographer/gynae/midwife I've come across about it since (and I've seen a lot) and nobody has seemed remotely phased. most have shrugged and said it just means my uterus is not the "normal" shape. When I had my private scan the sonographer said I might be referred for additional scans with a consultant but sometimes they don't bother and that the woman she'd scanned before me had one and was there with her toddler so it obviously didn't affect her too much! Another said that by the time of the 12 week scan the uterus has stretched so much that half the time you can't even tell someone has a BU so most people don't even know. My midwife seemed quite excited by it! She told me that she'd seen someone in labour who had a completely split uterus with 2 cervix and everything but nobody knew, 2 midwives were arguing over how dilated she was as they were each measuring a different cervix! I've got an appointment for scan a week after my 12 week for a consultant to have a look at my bu, and they may decide to keep a closer eye on me or they may decide all is fine and let me continue with the normal appointments. Obviously I'd prefer this not to be necessary but it is a comfort to know that I'm beng looked after!

Anyway, I completely understand how you feel. Best of luck tomorrow, I'm 100% sure you will be fine!

 

[vintage mama]

I had the same feelings as you, I think it is totally normal, the only way I would have been satisfied is if they let me take the scanner with me at all times!! you eventually should start to ease, for me when the hormones started to settle, you do get the odd spurt ( I had one the other night!!!) but at the start I was feeling like I needed to sign myself in somewhere as there was no letting up, I couldnt find my 'sensible' head!! When you start to feel your baby moving there will be no denying it!! I would love to say dont stress not good for the baby etc but with me that wasnt possible I had to just go with the hormone changes until they settled!!! hope your feeling at ease soon x

 

[Hopefulk]

Thank you ladies.

I'm pleased I'm not the only one who feels this way but also wish you didn't have to feel it!

I had the scan, everything looked fine and my consultant doesn't want to see me again until
14th June... Pleased she's comfortable to leave it but will miss seeing what's going on every 10-14 days! Hahaha... We're never happy huh?!

I asked about uterus and consultant said she'll just measure cervix to make sure the length is fine each time I see her so I'm happy with that, too.

It hasn't sunk in that I can worry less now... Hoping that will happen soon! I think I still touch wood every time I think of the baby but that it's just because I love bubbaloo and appreciate things even more because of previous losses.

Please let me know how your scans go.

Holy moly... We do seem to have synced our pregnancies!

K.x

 

[livinginhope]

Woooo! That's great news Hopefulk!

It took *ages* for it to sink in that I didn't have quite so much to worry about, and if I'm honest I still have the odd minor freak out now and again...

H&H rest-of-9-months to you!

 

[holymoly]

I've accidentally got us even more in sync, had a bit of bleeding this morning so had a scan today too, all well! The side of my bu without the baby in decided to have a little bleed, apparently it can happen with a bu as one side doesn't realise it is pregnant scary and horrible but harmless apparently!

Good news the consulatant is happy with everything. I do wish though we had a window in our stomachs so we could check everything was ok whenever we felt like!

It would be nice if from here on in we all had uneventful, boring pregnancies and the next post I see of yours is one about labour in about 6 months time!

 

[MysMT]

You start to worry less the further you get but you will always worry a little I think - at least I do.

I keep reassuring myself that everything is fine - that all 5 scans have been well to date - that things feel different this time and that I am further along. These help me stay positive.

Good luck with your pregnancy and you're not alone.