Scared myself this morning - Sorry, long post

Discussion in 'Trying To Conceive' started by MrsR32, Apr 14, 2009.

  1. MrsR32

    MrsR32 Mum to twin boys

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    Morning Girls

    I need to get this all off my chest, DH tried to sort me out but I think you are the only ones who will understand.

    This morning I woke up really depressed, every little thing like the cat being annoying and the house being messy just sent me into floods of tears. I was up for about 10 minutes before DH got up and I had already cried 3 times before he came down. He then saw I was upset and asked what was wrong which started me crying so hard I couldn't actually control myself. At one point, he handed me a glass of orange juice and I had to tell him to take it off me because it was all I could do to stop myself throwing it across the room. I really scared myself and I'm worried because DH goes away with work sometimes and if I get like that again I don't think I could snap myself out of it.

    I think I'm reacting to speaking to my best friend yesterday who is pregnant and due in 2 weeks, we started TTC at the same time and it only took her 3 months to conceive. I want to be happy for her and I put on a front when I speak to her but it kills me every time I even think about her.

    I am feeling so depressed and I can't imagine ever falling pregnant, I feel like my life's on hold and everything I do is just killing time between TTC. DH understands to a point but I don't think a man can really know what it feels like. I normally try not to show him how upset I am because it looks like the problem is a low sperm count so I don't want to make him feel any more guilty or upset than he already feels.

    I'm not really sure what else to say, just getting it off my chest helps a little and I know you will understand how I feel.
     
  2. sazza

    sazza Well-Known Member

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    So sorry you are feeling so down. Do you think your depression is due solely to TTC? It's so difficult to try and switch off to it, isn't it? The fact your friend is due in 2 weeks wont be helping matters either!

    Maybe you should take some time out, to pamper yourself? Do something different to distract yourself? I really hope you're feeling better soon. x x
     
  3. caz81

    caz81 Well-Known Member

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    i'm sorry that things are not so good at the moment, i agree with sazza can you try to take some 'me' time to do some nice things for yourself that are not ttc related? xx
     
  4. JayDee

    JayDee Sunshine and rainbow

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    I agree, I think you need to try and do something to chill a bit, could you and DH go away for the weekend/for a day out?

    Being chilled can't harm the baby making chances, and it will hopefully make you realise that a baby would be a great addition to your wonderful relationship, rather than the thing that's needed to hold it together. You should feel lucky that's not the latter, there are a lot of them out there.... Your DH sounds lovely, I'm sure a lot of men wouldn't be as sympathetic, like you say, they can't really understand in the same way.

    x
     
  5. trying4no1

    trying4no1 Well-Known Member

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    i know how u feel completly, i have days were i just wanna cry and scream, and i do have a few times a month were i will cry mainly because it lets how im feeling out and i'm not carrying it around with me, ptherwise i will just end up snaping, mainly at my bf, i find im more emotional during the 2ww, especially towards the end of the 2ww as that when i will learn my fate, it is hard there no denying that because when we are ttc thats when all the pregnant ladies appear, and although im so happy for them im still jealous as i wish it was me, just believe one day soon that will be you.

    sorry seem to have gone on with myself. xx
     

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