Scared of getting pregnant again

Discussion in 'Baby Club' started by PixieKitty, Apr 20, 2009.

  1. PixieKitty

    PixieKitty Guest

    I know I'm fully protected, but eventually I want to have another baby, possibly two. Thing is the thought of going through pregnancy, having it take it's toll on my body again, labour and delivery, all terrifies me. I'm actually more scared of labour and birth than I was before I did it the first time. My body's completely wrecked after having Jack, I know it's only been 6 weeks and Jack was so worth it, but my stomach sags and is covered in horrible purple marks, I only wear Dan's shirts now, have thrown out all my tank tops. I hate how I look, and I know it's gonna take a long time and a lot of hard work to get me back to how I was... after a second, third child it'll be damn near impossible. I know this is all way way wayyy in the future but the thought of getting pregnant and doing that all again... it's so scary! Please tell me I'm not alone in this :(
     
  2. MoonMuffin

    MoonMuffin Mom of 2!

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    Your not alone at all! None of my pre-pregnancy clothes fit so I'm always wearing DH's shirts. I had to go out and get some clothes from a plus size store, and I was not skinny before but I never had to go plus size before. I also now have a wrinkly saggy stretch mark covered tummy and I have bright stretch marks all over my boobs and upper arms too, and my boobs are saggy now. My DH says he still thinks I'm sexy but I don't believe him, I feel like such crap, I feel so fat, and I have this huge double chin. I know I'm working on it and I have lost a bit of weight but it's been 7 months and I still feel like I look awful :cry: just last week someone asked me what I was having (as in are you pg with a boy or girl?) but I'm not pg, just fat :cry: Also I'm scared of getting another c-section. The recovery was sooo rough and incredibly painful. Surprisingly though the scar is not something I worry about, it's tiny and I like it.
    That being said I don't want to have another one for at least a few years, then I'll be thin and maybe be able to afford some lypo and a tummy tuck after :rofl:

    And remember it's only been 6 weeks for you, that's not long at all :hugs:
     
  3. Shifter

    Shifter Guest

    You're absolutely not alone hun. I don't really have any problem with my body, but my birth experience was really negative and I really don't want to do it again. I went into labour completely without fear, having prepped with natal hypnotherapy etc but now I would say I have a phobia about it :cry:
     
  4. lollylou1

    lollylou1 Mummy to Belle and preg

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    i have a phobia of labour, it a big issue for me! i would love another baby but shit me it scares me LOL

    Lou
    xxx
     
  5. tasha41

    tasha41 Mum & Dad + 1

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    I'm still having my bad experience, and my baby is 5 weeks old! Aside from the recovery sucking majorly, I totally know what you mean in regards to the body blues as I call them lol. I have bad stretch marks- already going lighter but they are uglyyyy!! Saggy belly, my clothes jeans won't go on over my bandages.. so I always feel grubby/ugly when I go out, and I don't have any money for now to buy new clothes :(

    TBH Elyse is enough for me. I love her. I don't want any more children at this point, ever. I know if I have another I will love the next one just as much but I don't think I can do this again really. Pregnancy was great, but this has been hell, I can't imagine what it would have been like if I was on my own or had a house and another child to look after.
     
  6. lillysmum

    lillysmum Mum of 2 cheeky monkeys

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    i can totally understand where you are coming from on the body image front but trust me it does get better, despite how horrible you feel right now.
    I'm doing this for the second time and still stupidly try on old jeans and then cry because they dont fit -

    as for labour and birth scaring you i felt like that after having lilly and yet went back for more 20 months later! so it very well may change but let your own body and feelings guide you.

    hugs hun
     
  7. vicky9207

    vicky9207 Well-Known Member

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    i feel the same as you.

    My Tummy Goes Into Knots When I Think About Labour.

    I Think I'll Adopt. I Would Like Other Child Later In My Life. ( Im Only 16 So I Have Plenty Of Time)

    I Love My LO So Much Words Cant Describe But The Thought Of Having Another Baby Now Scares Me To Death

    I Worry About Getting Pregnant Even Tho Im On The Pill I Still Worry Alot................
     
  8. lolly101

    lolly101 Well-Known Member

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    I know how you feel too hun..I cried the the other day cos I can't even get my normal jeans up over my bum:hissy: One Mum at school had twins 3 weeks ago and is in her size 4 jeans already..skinny mini..:hissy: theres me still in my maternity joggers...:cry:
    when the time is right you will know and all the stretch marks and weight gain will be easier to cope with. As time goes by you forget all the scary and depressing bits and the joy of a child far far outweighs all this:hugs:
     
  9. sam#3

    sam#3 Lactivist & Intactivist

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    I know completely where you're coming from hun but honestly it does pass.... trust me ive felt it three times!!!!
    It wont be long until you're looking great again and forgetting all the fuss. You're doing great, relax and let things take the time they need to heal, everything will get better i promise hun xxxxxxxx
     
  10. charliebear

    charliebear Mum to AJ & Pumpkin

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    No, your not alone. I feel bad about my body, I've just found some high waist jeans, that I can hide my belly in! lol...
    My biggest fear is going through labour and birth again, after a bad labour and birth experience. I really dont think I could do it. :cry:
     
  11. Pearl

    Pearl Well-Known Member

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    I agree with this...when I first gave birth, I was asking people why on earth they ever decided to have more ... but then its all worth it! Our bodies are designed to bear pregnancy and birth. Sooner or later you've got to feel broody. Dont worry or dwell on ur stretch marks so much, u just have to accept it, becuase it cant change but ur mind set can change. you can loose weight, plan fun things for urself, ur partner and with ur child as well and feel good about urself ! Im sure ur partners love u for carrying ur child and going through the pain and hardships of preg and birth. just think of ur stretch marks as a mark of u getting through the fight of preg 7 birth ! :)
     
  12. Ratty

    Ratty Well-Known Member

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    I want a second one mainly because I don't want my boy growing up as an only child. I have a brother and my DH has 2 + a sister and neither of us can imagine growing up without them.
    Problem is i didn't want to be pregnant the first time around, now I know how crappy it is I definitely don't want to do it again. I also had a bad labour, was rushed into theatre shortly after LO was born and it was the scariest moment of my life.
     
  13. LuluBee

    LuluBee Mummy to Alex

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    i was 0n bed rest for most of my pregnancy and never want to go through that again. we'vebeen advised not to have anymore children and are both quite happy with that, but i'm terrified of a mistake happening and getting pregnant by accident, so much so I'm far too scared to have sex :(
     
  14. PixieKitty

    PixieKitty Guest

    Thank you so much girls! This really helped :)
    I know my body will probably never be the same and it's such a small price to pay for such a wonderful thing, I wouldn't change being a Mum for anything. But I do wish I could grow my babies in an egg and come check on it once a day, leave it notes to tell them I'd been and that I cared about them, then 9 months later *crack* a baby was born!

    You must excuse me, regardless of my correct *I think* spelling, I've had quite a lot to drink (Jack's at his Grandma's, bliss!) and I'm probably rambling :rofl:

    My labour was so painful, I was passing out and nearly was refused an epidural 'cause I was writhing in pain :shock: silly little lad was back to back and it put wayyy too much pressure on my already damaged back, no fun (N)

    But, I do love being a Mum, and I know I'll want to do it all again once he's past the newborn stage :rofl: I can't wait to TTC, or have another newborn... if only it could be like the sausage advert, 'we only select the two best bits' :D

    Anyway, I best get to bed before I can't get up the stairs... Thanks again girls!
     
  15. Tiff

    Tiff LIKE A BOSS

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    Do remember hun that it took nearly 10 months for pregnancy to do what it did to your body... so don't beat yourself up so soon! You're only 6 weeks in! My friends who had kids all maintained that it took 9 months to get there, so you need to give yourself at least 9 months before you start being really sad about it. :hugs:

    It's so hard hun. I'm in the same boat, I hate what pregnancy has done to my body too.
     
  16. ryder

    ryder Mum to Jasmine & Peyton

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    I loved being pregnant and labour... but... my bdy is also ruined, my boobs and stomach are saggy and covered in stretchies!
     
  17. MummyMummy

    MummyMummy Well-Known Member

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    when i was preg with my 1st i went from top end of 13st to 17st at 9months preg :o he was 9lbs 3.5oz too! my tummy was as you could imagine suuuper saggy... after 6weeks it still was, after 6months it didn't look half as bad! i lost weight and exercised and i'm not gonna lie to you and say i had a toned tum because i never, it never looked the same as it did before, the bottom was always a bit wobbly and saggy. but it DiD improve!!give yourself time, 6weeks is nothing at all.
    when i was preg not only was i a whale i had spd/pgp and it hurt. oh it hurt like hell. never again i said.

    fast forward and now i am 33weeks preg i startedthis pregat 18st (met mr.man and went from 14st to 18st!!! guess i was happy or something? :rofl:) and have spd/pgp again yet i still chose to have a baby, time changes your mind and it is true what they saythat you forget as time goes by. i remember pushing the head out hurt but according to my memory that was the worst part :rofl: sure i'll know in about 9weeks if my memory liesto me :rofl: don't forget every labour is different, just as every pregnancy is different and every baby is different. don't be so hard on yourself, also don't forgt you will still have some hormones floating around your body and they don't like to make us think straight :lol: asyou know

    xXx
     

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