Scared of going back

[analyticalema]

I originally went back just over a week after I miscarried but only for two days as complications occured and I've been off since November...still not quite there and have to go for physio and more surgery. I have a meeting with my Head today to discuss how I can come back in January which I really need to go to.

Two of the doctors I've seen believe that the cause of the miscarriage was due to stress/cortisol hormone levels and tbh both me and my partner do as well...it was too much of a coincidence with what and when it happened. My Head has been fantastic but the deputy is a total mental case and needs to be committed.

To cut a very long story short, the world revolves around him and his ego was more important than my life and the life of my child. He created drama and issues out of nothing and went against the risk assessment he did the day before we did it because I didn't want him to tell other people I and I told him I wanted nothing to do with him...he was annoyed that I was no longer bailing him out of the huge holes he kept digging! (He's incompetant and regularly fails vulnerable children because he only thinks of himself!)

I don't know how to tell my boss that I can't work with him! I LOVE my job and I'm good at it (I know how arrogant that sounds)! I really want to go back and get back into it. Various staff have said that he is jealous of me and my ability and is "out to get me" but I'd be a voice alone as he talks to the person over the head and lies about people to bloster himself up and make others look less credible. I have text messages and emails evidencing his lack of professionalism and dates of his misconduct with regard to my pregnancy. I don't know how to first of all work with the person we hold responsible for Jesse's death and second of all run the risk of it happening again as we're ttc!

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!! And I'm scared of going in and screaming at the head who has been wonderful...or killing the deputy!

Sorry for the rant!!! Love and Hugs to people!

 

[Liz2]

Honey I am so sorry for your loss

It is a hard thing having to go back to work and face.....well everything! I was off for a few weeks after my mmc and it felt like it wasn't long enough.....then again will any time be long enough? I could have sat in a whole for months and been content with that. I think that your best bet of having to work with him is ignore him! I know that is hard when you have to deal with someone daily but stick to what you HAVE to talk to him about. No small talk, all professional. People like to belittle others when they know that it is working. If he sees that it's getting to you he will keep pushing until he pushes you out. You are stronger then that and like you said you are good at what you do! So keep being good at it and he can kiss your ass!!! I hope that it all works out for you

 

[analyticalema]

Thank you!
I met with the head and explained how I felt and she was very understanding we're going through a grievance procedure because of what happened and possibly mediation. It's hard to avoid him and I'm set to work with him on several projects later this year! I love my job and don't want to leave...I feel like I'm in the right place!

I went to my occupational health interview and they suggested the grievance procedure would be a good idea and they would be making several suggestions including pointing out the legal implications of what has happened. The person I saw was an ex midwife and has been through a miscarriage herself so I felt like she had a good idea of how I was feeling and had good knowledge of what should have happened. I have had to contact my union and they have said that they need to pass it on to their legal department. I'm hoping to go back in January providing I can medically and the head has said I'm to work at her site for the first week to avoid awkward situations with him until the grievance procedure has gone through she explained that I will probably need a union rep present as he might decide to have one too. He is the union rep at our work place (I know!...due to a lack of options) I have explained that I don't want a big battle or to cause issues but he needs to learn from this so it doesn't happen again and the lovely occupational health lady agrees that there is an issue with just letting it go for my employer as well as for my well being!

I know this is not going to be easy and it will probably get messy...not looking forward to any of it! But I owe it to my little baby Jesse and this is who it's about!

We'll see what happens!

Big hugs!

 

[Tulip]

Wow, that's a great step forward and you seem to have the full support of everyone that matters. I hope it goes smoothly for you and of course the scumbag gets what's coming to him.

You're right, it's all for Jesse and for the safety of Jesse's future brother/sister. Sending massive hugs xx