Scared sex will hurt.. Tmi

[Ghost]

I'm currently 5 1/2 weeks pp and haven't done the deed since a month before baby was born. I had an epesiotomy and ended up having forceps which resulted in a be third degree tear. I also ended up losing four pints of blood so ended up having a blood transfusion. The transfusion seemed to help with the stitches healing as after about a week they were much easier and by three weeks I didn't really feel them. At the moment it's only the ones in my bum that seem to still be tender.
My partner has quite a low sex drive so he's not really interested in nookie , and is saying to wait until I've had an appointment with the physio( 15 aug I think) or til I'm 6 weeks. Even then I'm sure it'll be me initiating it rather than him. Anyway that's not the point. Me on the other hand , I very much miss the intimacy of sex. We've had some heavy petting sessions, and from 3 weeks I started masterbating again, reaching orgasm and it doesn't hurt. However when I have straddled my partner fully clothed it does feel like I'm tight down there.

I've read so many stories about sex being painful after third degree tear , is there anyone who didn't find it to be?. I so desperately want to be able to do it again but I'm scared silly of hurting- when I lost my virginity it didn't hurt so I have nothing to compare it to. Did you wait until the 6 week mark?. I'm expressing milk so I know this can cause issues with self librication but my partner won't use lube , though we will be using condoms. Any tips before trying it?.

 

[AC1987]

I actually waited til 6 months because I was SO scared it'd hurt, the stitches were agony and I didn't feel myself for months later, it was a slow heal
But after the first go it got better. I probably was ready around 4 months after LO was born but we just didn't get at it til later ahha

 

[optimistic1]

I didn't have a 3rd degree tear but I waited until 7 weeks pp tried waiting longer until on birthcontrol but hey...shit happens. By this time I couldn't feel my stitches and the pain with using the restroom or stretching was gone for weeks. Sex didn't hurt in fact it felt better than before getting pregnant a lot better. I also breast feed and I was actually quite wet down there which could be why it didn't hurt. I was afraid it would hurt too but I think once you can stretch your legs apart without pain your in the clear. If not I would wait especially since you had a third degree tear.

 

[twobecome3]

we dtd at about 8 or 9 weeks pp. honestly its been uncomfortable up until just recently within the last week or so. so almost 5 months to fully recover. its diff for everyone tho

eta. use lots of lube. lots of warm up. don't force it if its too uncomfortable, you'll get there eventually. no need to rush. theres other things you can do to be intimate in the meantime.