scared to have baby no2

[jodylee05]

Hi everyone

I have a gorgeous baby girl who is 18months. I had a really rough pregnancy with her. Morning sickness (BAD) up until 20 weeks. I dropped to seven stone. Plus 72 hours in labour which ended in forseps!! Overall not a good pregnancy.

My hubby is wanting to try for a baby in may and I'm petrified. I've explained this but he is a keen not to have a big age gap. I don't know whether to put it off until maybe the end of the year or just see what happens. I'm not particularly broody and sometimes find it overwhelming with one child.

I am just feeling so low. I know I want another baby just not sure right now.

X

 

[bighouse]

I would say wait. It's your body, and your hubby didn't have to go through what you went through what you did the first pregnancy. If he had, and is like most men, there would probably never be a #2 My doctor said that it actually takes the human body 3 years to completely "recover" after a pregnancy (so she recommends waiting 3 years in between pregnancies, if possible).

 

[staralfur]

If you're not ready, then wait. I totally understand your fears. I had an okay pregnancy but my LO was high needs (and still is), and another baby in the foreseeable future is an absolute NO GO. I do miss being pregnant and occasionally daydream about having another newborn, but when I really start to consider what having another baby around would be like, it does not fill me with excitement or happiness... it's just plain scary.

But my husband was ready to start trying back in November. I think the fact that I was so completely against it was enough for him to step back. It was never a "well, maybe, but I don't know if I'm ready..." it was just "no way." If you feel strongly about it then let your husband know that, I'm sure he'll put your feelings ahead of a desired age gap.

I definitely do want another baby at some point, but it will be when I'm comfortable as well as my husband, and when my LO isn't as, erm, spirited. I just know that picturing us a family unit with an extra baby isn't what's best for any of us quite yet.

 

[KalonKiki]

I had a really rough pregnancy/birth with my DS too, but I'm not really worried about my next pregnancy/birth being the same way as every pregnancy and birth is supposed to be different and even if it did end up being the same I'm willing to take that chance as I'd like my babies to only be 2 or 3 years apart max.

It's your body though and if you're not ready then it's okay to wait. I'm sure that your DH will understand if you explain to him that you're not ready and why. He might pout over the age gap being larger than he's wanting for a while, but he'll eventually get over it.

 

[madseasons]

I had a GREAT pregnancy. My labor...well...I think I set a record at the hospital to being one of the worst ones they had seen in a while.

That being said, we were really ONE and DONE after we had him and even contemplated getting my tubes tied. NOT because of what I went though with DS, because I would do it again in a heart beat, but because of finances and we had a really small place when he was born.

Fast forward to when he turned three...I got broody....DH said NO. Fast forward a year later (still broody, but respect DH)....now he is now broody too.

I was able to go back to school, finish my degree that I started 16 years ago (Navy, getting married, moving across the U.S. and starting a family got in the way! ) I got a promotion at work and we have a bigger house now. I am SO glad that we waited till we decided on #2. Now we are ready and I am up for another promotion.

Long story short, I am glad that I didn't get broody till 3 years later because we were able to make our life more comfortable and ready to expand one more time.

Talk to you DH and let him know you need TIME to heal and TIME with you current LO and maybe he will finally come to terms. My husband told me NO when he wasn't ready, and I respected him enough to wait a WHOLE YEAR to bring it back up, and that wasn't easy!

GL Hun!