Scared to test.

[mssk]

I know it sounds ridiculous, I mean it is what we are all here for right? I just can't help but be scared to test. I was so optimistic right after ovulation and now I am just dreading it. DH and I have lost two angels in the past 6 months one directly after the other--we caught before AF--and we were so eager to try again after waiting 2 months for AF to come with the assistance of Provera. We want another baby so bad that I am afraid to suffer another loss . I just don't think I have it in me to go through another loss. At first I told myself I was afraid to test and see a BFN but now with all my symptoms saying pregnancy I realize I am scared to see a BFP and then have it ripped away from us again. AF could be due anywhere from the 28th to the 1st (Provera could have made my cycle shorter or longer) Today is cycle day 26. If I am pregnant I wish I could just go to sleep and wake up 12 weeks pregnant and start preparing for my cerclage. I never thought I would be so nervous about testing. I just want everything to be okay this time.

 

[JLM73]

Ahh sorry mssk...I get it tho.
Well not sure if you have had any progesterone issues, since you have def proven you CAN fertilize the eggy, and implant...that's the only reason I would test. I would want to be sure my progest was not an issue in causing losses.
You should still be good to wait till AF is late tho.

 

[mssk]

I believe I do have progesterone issues that will be the reason I have to test soon. Last Dr. refused to test my Progesterone or prescribe Prometrium. But, I have had issues with preterm labor with both of my Los and need Progesterone injection after 14 weeks along with a cerclage at 13. The high risk OB won't see me till 12 weeks his RN at 8. But, I may just call her and tell her what is going on.

 

[JLM73]

Oh yea, well pls test to get progest eval easrly on then!
Perhaps you could tell a bit of a lie to get them to check you out sooner??
Not everyone knows their weeks etc when bfp

 

[mssk]

I think I am going to bite the bullet and test this weekend. But, I might just call the OB's office tomorrow to set up an appointment. You're right I just need to do it, it either is going to okay or it isn't. But, testing now and getting my progesterone tested will help ease my stress.

 

[JLM73]

FX all is fabulous and

 

[Oh_Clementine]

Hope all goes well for you x

 

[Dana_Scully]

I'm sorry for your losses. I had two losses as well. I hope you get a sticky bean!

 

[MommyTTC2]

prayers for baby dust!

 

[mssk]

Thank you all I am really hoping this is it. I decided since my cycle was a little all over the place that I will test after AF has been missed/if it is missed. I had watery cm cycle day 10-13 then EWCM 14-19 So I am not quite sure where I am at. I don't know if the Provera messed with my cycle but I felt the most O pains around the 17th. I guess only time will tell.