Scared :( !!

[lauralora]

Feeling so pissed off with myself today! On tuesday i came out of hospital after spending four days in there for some bleeding i experienced on saturday. Had a scan on monday, everything appears normal and my cervix is closed. They dont no what caused the bleeding which pi**es me off even more.

Any how during the horrible experience i somehow mangaged to find strength and cope with what was happening, its since theyve sent me home ive started to panic, because i keep thinking 'what if the bleeding comes back' what if the babys not growing or what if i start getting contractions. This is absolutley no way to live, i have already been anxious throughout the pregnancy because of a previous m/c but how im not worried, im scared, which feels even worse.

Its like ive always known in my mind that things wouldnt go right, and now im scared this is the start of the end. The consultant came to see me, (before i had the scan) and was talking about placenta abrubtions, prem labour, the lot! i asked about the babys chances, he said 26 weeks is a start, 28 weeks is even better and 32 weeks is good.

Please please cross your fingers i get to at least 32 weeks with no more problems, ive already bonded so so much with my little boy and it would kill me if anything went wrong. I really hope the bleed was a one off situation and nothing to worry about, but the trauma of it is haunting me and i am so scared it will come back.

thanks for listening to anyone who reads this i just really needed to get off my chest how im feeling...!

really hope the rest of you are having a better time than me xx

 

[sophxx]

Hun try not to panic as it's no good for the baby! I had a mmc at 14 weeks and it was horrible but it happened and I can't worry about it! I have panic disorder and I know how awful it is I have constant panic attacks! I've been doing relaxation everyday and it's really helped me with my worry feel free to pm me any time if you want ti chat as I've been through it and am now at the other side! But honestly there's not a day that goes by when I'm not panicing about something or upset! Your not on your own! X x

 

[Las78]

Hun, keeping everything crossed for you. Just keep thinking that 26 weeks is a start, the chances are good, before you know it you'll be at 28 weeks. I know it's hard not to be scared x

 

[Saranna80]

Try to stay positive. They wouldn't have let you out of hospital if they were still concerned. Just keep up the PMA and look up the positive stories. :Hugs:
xx

 

[millwallrose4]

It must be hard not to panic, but it will really just make everything seem worse. Try to be reassured that you've reached the viability point and I'm hoping for you that this was just a one off bleed. I don't think the consultant helped by telling you the worse case scenarios, but try to relax and concentrate on the fact that your little boy was fine. Keeping my fingers crossed that you get to 32 weeks at least. Hope you're feeling better.

 

[lauralora]

Thankyou girls i am trying so hard to be postive, i no there are loads of people who have bleeds and it doesnt always mean pre term labour. the consultant did really scare me, but the midwifes there made me feel alot better, they said lots of women come in with bleeds and its very rarely a sign of complication. I guess 5 days with no red bleeding is a good sign huh? x

 

[bky]

Aww. I wish I could give you some of these wonderful hormones I've got so you could feel better hun.

 

[Drazic<3]

Right gorgeous girl - I am going to be honest with you now and this is just because I really do care about you and have been following your story for as long as I have been pregnant too. You NEED to try and relax sweetheart. Your body is throwing everything at you but honestly babes you have no signs of all those scary things happening. Your beautiful boy is healthy, you are healthy - you just have a bleedy cervix which loves to torment you! You will get to term and have your healthy boy.

I KNOW how hard it is to believe, but please try, even if you only can every now and again. Pregnancy is TERRIFYING! But you need to be kind to yourself and let yourself have a break sweetheart. Do you meditate? I would recommend getting yourself an oil burner, some lavender oil (fill the burner with water and put in maybe 6 drops of oil) and just sit quietly for a while, try not to think about scary things, just enjoy your little boy bouncing in your tummy and take some quiet time for you. Also, have nice relaxing baths, read something you enjoy, cross stitch a baby picture! Do little positive things just for you and baby boy.

Please know that I KNOW it's impossible darling, I am just trying to think of you and how you can get through the next few months. Sending love