Second MMC - twins, how do I cope?

[NewToAllThis]

I had a missed m/c at 12 weeks in Aug 2010 (baby measured 7 weeks) and swore to myself that when I got pregnant, I would have an early scans so I find out in advance instead of the shock of getting to 12 weeks and then discovering something was wrong.
I got my long awaited BFP in August this year and booked a private scan at 8 weeks (NHS did not want to know as one previous m/c does not mean you will m/c again)

The private scan showed a fetus measuring 6 weeks, again with no heartbeat.
The NHS were then suddenly interested and I had a repeat scan last Friday just to check for any growth. During this week, I had kind of come to terms with losing another baby.
But this is when we discovered it is twins and the bottom has fallen out of my world as neither has a heartbeat.

As the second twin wasn't seen on first scan, I have to wait a further week and return on Friday to see.

I desperately hope for one twin to make it but the dates are so out that I can't see how it can happen.

I just wanted to share my story - as I feel like I don't know what to do anymore. How do I cope?
I had an ERPC last time and I don't know what to do this time as I have been told that multiple ERPC's can cause problems conceiving.

Does anyone know what miscarrying twins naturally will be like - I may end up with medical management if nothing happens though and I don't know how painful this will be.

We have been trying for our first baby for 2 years now and I feel like it will never happen.
I want to give my DH what he so desperately wants and I can't.

 

[Maggie39]

i'm so sorry for what you are going through

I've had two ERPCs and the docs keep telling me that there isn't any risk of future problems conceiving

I've been trying for a year and a half (and had two miscarriages). I guess others go through this and then get their healthy pregnancy in the end so trying to be positive but is so hard. sending

 

[shirlls]

I am so sorry for your loss, I really don't know what to say. I am thinking about you, and all the best with everything. Message me if you need to talk anytime xxxx

 

[Nikki_d72]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I didn't get medical management because my body went into labour while at least one of my boys were still alive and I gave birth to them, but that was at 20 wks - does medical management induce labour? I would say the non-operative way may take longer but be gentler on your body but I'm only guessing. Hopefully someone with more experience can come along soon and answer that for you. I wouldn't imagine that twins would make it too much harder (except emotionally) even at my gestation with a natural birth, one came right after the other (which I was praying he wouldn't but that's another story). Sorry that's not much use. I hope by some miracle you still have one that's implanted late or something. xx

 

[Andypanda6570]

I am so sorry, my heart is breaking for you I can feel your hurt in your post, I wish i could help you. I lost my Ava at 18 and half weeks, I gave birth to her. I just don't know what to expect having twins. I am thinking of you and sending positive thoughts I am praying one twin is going to be ok. XOXOXOOXOXO

 

[GreyGirl]

I can't imagine what you're going through. I don't know if it will help or not, but I'm a twin. I should have been a triplet, but my Mum miscarried 1 of us and there were 2 left...so it's fully possibly you'll have a child, I am keeping everything crossed for you and sending millions of

 

[honey08]

its awful ,so sorry for ur losses

 

[NewToAllThis]

Thanks everyone

I have started spotting brown blood and have mild period type cramps so not sure if the decision will be taken out of my hands.

Thanks Grey - it does show you can lose one baby and still have one survive (or two in your mums case).

 

[newmrsg]

I am so sorry you are going through this... I think one of the worst things for me was the not knowing what was going on or what was going to happen... It was horrible the ups and downs leading up to the actual mc... I actually seen the heartbeat the day before and was told everything was going to be ok and to not worry... I knew in the back of my mind something was wrong but tried to become hopful again... Unfortunitaly the next day I had some lower back pains and bleeding which lead to me passing the baby that night... Its such an awful thing for any woman to have to endure and I am so very sorry you are going through it ;( Please seek comfort in those close to you it will not make the pain go away but its nice to have that love and support... Sending many big your way!

 

[v2007]

I am so sorry



V xxx

 

[keepontrying]

Im so sorry that this is happening to you and i know from my own experiences how sad you will be right now.
Its frighteningly familiar to my own situation and the NHS not agreeing to scan early. You will hear that its nature way or it was not your time....RUBBISH!

Can you ask for karyotyping of the babies to see if there was any problem so if so at least you have information on your side, you can miscarry naturally as long as you retain (and im sorry to put it this way) the tissue.

You will cope, only because you have to - its so hard and your pain will never leave you but I promise time makes it easier.

If the NHS refuse to investigate then think about private investigations. I wish I had done this as I only found out a week and a half ago that there are things that you can get tested privately that the NHS will not even acknowledge. Things like natural killer cells - I am incredibly angry about this as my clinical history could indicate immunology issues . Im supposed to be 10 weeks tomorrow and am so petrified and convinced its gone wrong again.

You need to allow yourself to pass through the many emotions that you will feel, pull your OH closer and hold on to each other tightly because its easy to allow grief to come in between you (my marriage ended because of what we went through).

Im sorry and if you want to message me or speak with some one that has been where you are now - please feel free.

I found some things comforting - planting a special plant in remembrance, buying a special candle that I lit on the anniversary of finding out and the due date, writing letters to my babies... allowing myself to scream out when i needed to and implode inwards if necessary.

Please look after you and your OH, my heart goes out to you right now

Im so sorry xxxxxxxxxx

 

[3boys]

I am so so sorry I have had 2 mmc - 1 in 2007 where i had a d&c and one at the beginning of this year, I also heard that too many d&c's arent good because they can weaken your cervix and could make it harder for you to reach full term with any future pregnancy so on my second I waited to mc naturally, thankfully it happened a couple of days after I found out. I dont know anything about mc twins but i presume it would be the same experience except you would pass 2 sacs. I hope you recover quickly from this and again i am so so sorry.

 

[lullabybarb]

Im so sorry to hear about your losses and i can understand the pain you are experiencing i miscarried 5 babies after my 1st daughter and had 4 d&c's and one where the sac came out itself, i had lots of tests done and they could not find a reason why the heartbeats just stopped it was heart wrenching and me and my partner decided to stop trying as it was too upsetting i went to see my gp to ask if i could be sterelized and he just said please give it one more try with injections as he knew a lady who had miscarried 11 babies and when she tried the injections it worked and she went on to have healthy children, we decided to give it one more try and thank goodness we did as i had my son reece and another daughter sophie, i felt like the luckiest woman alive and never dreamed it would be possible to ever have another baby! the injections i was having was progesterone as my levels were low, it is amazing how many women have this without realising and a simple blood test can detect this, i have added a link below for you to read, im praying that by some miracle you see a heartbeat on your next scan.

Thinking of you and Wishing you both lots of luck



https://www.wikihealth.com/The_role_of_progesterone_during_pregnancy

 

[debzie]

Hello hun first of all so so sorry for your losses. I have had two mmcs both dealt with medical management. My first one being that of twins. I was 10 weeks but both stopped growing at around 8. The medical management is not easy, and to be honest it is like full blown labour and with the twin pregnancy I was bleeding and cramping for around two days where the single pregnancy it was over much quicker. I was not offered an erpc as they do not do them in the nhs trust where I live.

I took it worse knowing that I was carrying twins for some reason, think it broke my heart twice as bad. Message me anytime hun. sending hugs.

 

[Ladyfog]

I'm so sorry you are going through this again, especially knowing it is twins.
I can completely sympathise about feeling like it will never happen. After the second mc you are filled with so much doubt, but hope does creep back in again after time. It will happen for you, like it will for all of us but this time it just wasn't to be

 

[NewToAllThis]

I am touched by all of your responses and I thank each and every one of you for taking the time to post.
I am just counting down the days to Friday although I have started cramping and bleeding ever so slightly.
I just know in my heart that its all over again

 

[3boys]

massive hugs hun! I know there is nothing i can say to make this any easier but know that we are all here for you if you ever want to talk or vent about the unfairness of it all! x x x

 

[Ladyfog]

Thinking of you.

 

[Tnkrbell15]

Hi New. I saw you in another thread, and now you are here. I said it in the last thread, but let me just say it again. I AM SO SORRY! Losing twins was a difficult experience for me. I had only found out days before that I was pregnant, and within 2 days they told me it was ectopic. The worst part was that when I had my D&C, they didn't remove the second (hidden) baby. I naturally m/c the second baby two days later. I am not going to lie; it was painful, both physically and emotionally. My body began having some form of contractions, there was a lot of pressure, and an hour or two later the baby came.

I am still praying for the hope that your second twin will make it. You are in my thoughts, and know that many of us are here for you.

 

[NewToAllThis]

Twin loss confirmed. I am bereft.
Got to make the difficult decision between tablets to bring on m/c or an another erpc.