Self feeding help

[OmarsMum]

Omar never showed interest in food, for the past few days he started to eat well & ask for food & he's enjoying it.

He never showed interest in feeding himself, if I give him a spoon he gives it back to me, asking me to feed him, he doesn't like to hold food unless it's dry, & again he eats few bites before loosing interest. We've been eating as a family since we started weaning but it didn't help in encouraging him t feed himself.

I wasn't worried before as his fine motor skills development is fine, but I visited a friend yesterday who has 4 year old under weight son, she still has to spoon feed him to get food into his tummy & now he struggles to feed himself at school. My cousin who's 5 years is also the same, he comes back home with dirty clothes as he still doesn't know how to feed himself

Now I'm worried, I don't mind spoon feeding him as long as he wants to but I don't want it to affect his development when he's older, my cousin comes back home from school crying as he gets embarrassed when his clothes gets dirty

Any tips on how to encourage him to feed himself? I tried to give him a spoon to play with while I feed him but it always ends up on the floor or my mouth

 

[Miss_Bump]

Hmmm tough one this....

If it was me, i would make play time into feeding time.

In-between meals have him play with foods he does like and explore them by smelling and licking etc. Maybe use a fork and play a game of seeing how many you can stab and get on the fork. Feed each other and feed his toys and also encourage him to feed himself.

Maybe away from an actual meal time he might not feel the pressure IYKWIM?

When its all fun and game he will probably be more interested in feeding himself

 

[isil]

I think Miss_bump's reply is great - turn it into a game to take the pressure off. I think it's good that you're away of the potential for future problems now

 

[OmarsMum]

Thanks ladies. He's at my mum's today, will try those tips tom. I'm planning to use his table & chair for eating instead of the highchair. I will let you know how it goes tomorrow xx

 

[huggybear]

MY LO has only just grasp feeding himself and if he can get away with it will still have me feed him, I find he wont eat half as much if he is feeding himself, he gets bored and then I will intervene and offer a few mouthfuls (if i feel he hasnt eaten enough), if LO is having something he really loves to eat ie spag bol then he will feed himself no problem, I really try and take a back seat with him feeding himself, I always try and get him to feed me and share, so far its working but as I say its taken this long. He will get there. x

 

[Sazzoire]

Making it a game is a great idea.... Lucy insists on trying to feed herself and and feed me! She is obviously copying what I do... I always give her a spoon in her hand and a spoon for me to feed her... she always gets in a real mess but I don't care as long as she is having fun and eating at the same time... she attemps to get her spoon into her yogurt but between the yogurt and her mouth it usually falls off the spoon but I quickly shove some in her mouth so she feels like she is feeding herself.. this way I am not depending on her to eat until she is full. She also like to bang the spoon on her tray and again although messy, she is having a good time. I think the minute it isn't fun, she will loose interest and look for something else to do.

xx

 

[keepontrying]

Another diea for children who are scared to get their hands dirty on wet food...

Messy play, play with sticky, wet, messy, gloopy things such as glue, paint, cornflour mixed with water, weetabix mashed with water, mud, water, sand etc. You get your hands in to demonstrate and allow his hands to get sticky and messy (a lot of mums immediately clean their childs hands but this some times does more harm than good)

Role play with foods and tea set, get your LO to spoon feed you and then themselves through play.

If he gives you his spoon just hand it back and 'omar do it' if it goes on the floor just pick it up and put it back without responding (or it could turn into a game!)
Loading the spoon and leaving it on the table / highchair.

Lots of praise and encouragement, even for holding the spoon.

Copy me games - you do an action, they do it... move it onto the spoon... dipping it in, putting it in mouth.. lots of 'well done' 'great job' etc etc

Good luck x

 

[Lara310809]

I'm not sure; my daughter started refusing to be spoon fed, and we coudn't figure out why for a couple of weeks. We thought she was going off the foods, not the feeding methods. I agre that you do need to go along with what they want, but to a point I suppose.

When we first let her self-feed, we found it really useful to give her a fork as well as us having one. She would be engrossed in stabbing the food with her fork, and occasionally lifting it to her mouth and eating it, but at the same time we could continue feeding her with the fork we were holding, without her fully realising.

Perhaps you could let him have a fork (or spoon) and see if playing with ahd stabbing the foods onto the fork encourages him to lift it to his mouth. But all the time putting no pressure on him. If you can do it at every meal, he will learn, and hopefully eventually start to do it himself?

 

[sun]

Not too much advice as Bun has always been really good with fork/spoon/knife - it's just the actual eating that is the problem.
But maybe Omar would eat more if he had all the same dishes/cutlery as you? Bun went through a phase of refusing anything on his tray so we took the tray off his booster and pushed him right up to the table. He eats more on his own if he has a plate and cutlery like ours - even though the spoons and forks are too big (we do give him the dessert sized spoons/forks though). I think he models our eating much more when he isn't using the coloured plastic stuff. I will also let him serve himself things like rice - we eat sticky rice so it's easy for him to get on the fork! Not sure if any of this is helpful, but I have found with eating that what works one day is usually short-lived!

Lots of hugs

 

[lalitas charm]

We did BLW but some of the principles of that should still apply to Omar. Try to take the stress away by not worrying about how much he has eaten, he will not starve himself!! Try really motivating him by giving him foods which he likes and will touch but letting him eat or not as the case may be, allow him some control of his own meals to see if that helps, he might enjoy that bit of independence. Have you tried him with things like corn on the cob (Big hit in my house) dips like houmous with flat bread etc which are fun to play with while eating. I'd also let him feed you, my DD loves doing that and it helps them learn how to use the cutlery properly. You could ask him to give you a bite and then have a bite himself just like what he did for mummy! Does he like fruit? DD loves grapes and I think they are great for this kind of situation as they are so tasty which is really motivating but they aren't too messy so he shouldn't be too bothered by that.

I also think that the messy play with paint and glue is a fantastic idea, another thing to try is water beads, they are quite squashy and damp and he can get his hands right into them and throw them about as he pleases. Have a look at the stay at home mom facebook page, there are great ideas for messy play on there

Oh and biggest thing of all......... try not to worry about what another person's 4 & 5 year old is doing........... they are not Omar!! He will do his own thing!!