Selling on clothes that have been given to you....

[tommyg]

Hm this really got me thinking. Not too sure about the whole issue. I have recently given a lot of my boys' clothes to a friend with a younger son. I don't think I would mind if she sold them on when he son was done, but probably would a bit if she did before he used them. But then on the other hand, she doesn't have to have the same taste as me and might not like every item I gave her. But I did tell her that if she didn't have use for it to just hand it on to other mums. So yes I can understand that you were taken aback by her selling the stuff.
On the other hand we were given absolutely gorgeous Pjs for our boys that sadly were too small for them already but I didn't tell the person this as to not hurt him. And since my friend with the little boy is also friends with this person, and she is the only mummy friend I have, I could not hand the pjs to her either. Normally I donate clothes to a children's charity shop but I felt heartless to just give those gorgeous pjs away like that too. So I was planning on selling them on ebay and buying something else for my boys. Now after reading your thread, I am not sure what I should do.

If the PJs were a birthday or Chirstmas gift I'd sell them. However if you know which shop they have come from Next, M&S etc I'd try returning them and ask for a bigger size.

As a gifter I try to pass on gift receipts but if I've forgotten I'd rather they came back to me and asked for the receipt than to effectively waste my money.

 

[_jellybean_]

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[AngelUK]

The problem is that the pjs are summer pjs with short sleeves and short bottoms and the boys got them for their birthday which is in March. By the time it was hot last summer and they could have worn them, they were too small. But it was too late to return them too.

 

[Sambatiki]

I think I would be a bit miffed too I think she should have asked you if you wanted them back first.

 

[lovelylaura]

I would have been a little peeved just because i like to pass things on and i would like to think that the other person would pass them on so that some else could benefit like they did. However i gave ALOT of clothes to my friend and if she wanted to sell them to pay for new bits in bigger size's when her baby grew out of it i would be ok with that, because they are still benefiting from it.

 

[AnneD]

Once youve given something to someone, its then their property to decide what to do with. You decided to give them away, she has not

Agree with the above. If you didn't say you'd want the clothes back after she was done with them, then they were given to her and she can do what she likes with them. I would never expect anyone to ask me if
I wanted back the gift I gave them, if they were allowed to sell it or throw it away. I don't understand why it would be any different with nappies or children's clothes, no matter how much they were worth or how much they cost you. It might be a nice gesture to ask (say if the giver is having another baby), but it shouldn't be expected in my opinion.

I do hope my MIL doesn't ask what I did with the plastic bag she once gave me for Christmas. Or with a disgusting plastic choking hazard of a pink cat ornament she gave my baby once. I didn't ask if she would like them back!

 

[bumpy_j]

I don't think there's anything wrong with it as long as they made use of the clothes themselves. I would find it distasteful if somebody accepted them only with the intention to sell them on.

Someone gave me a huge bag of outgrown baby clothes which had some designer/high labels like Burberry, Junior J, Timberland etc. I re-sold them once they were grown out of (although didn't have anyone to really pass it on to either) because it had high re-sale value and they didn't want them back wouldn't bother me if somebody I passed clothes/equipment onto did the same thing either.

 

[staralfur]

I wouldn't even sell to one of those clothing companies that pays per weight of bag as I believe it eats into a charity's funds to pay for what they're selling, so I would always donate. If you are in a lucky enough position to be able to buy new clothes for lo, or have friends / family to pass stuff on to you, then you should be helping out those less fortunate by donating to them. There are so many parents struggling and deprived kids out there I would rather see them benefit than make money.

I'm gonna have a little rant because this struck a nerve with me.

This is a nice thought, in theory. But sometimes people need the extra money themselves. I just lost my job last month, right as my student loan payments increased by 150%. My husband's income alone can barely cover my bills as is, let alone another $300/month. I am literally scrambling around the house every day trying to find stuff to sell so I can pay my bills. That unfortunately includes my LO's clothes, which I had planned on donating eventually. Some were gifts.

I'm not making it public knowledge amongst my friends that I can't pay my bills, so if someone sees a shirt they bought my LO for sale and thinks I'm just being greedy then that's unfortunate, but it's wrong. Maybe if you see a friend selling stuff who you assume is "well off" enough to be donating to charity instead of profiting themselves, don't be so quick to judge.

Did I think 2 years ago when I bought new clothes for my daughter that I'd be in this position? Nope. I was at my job for 7 years and never expected to be let go.

People's circumstances change. People get desperate. I think it would be nice to give someone the benefit of the doubt. Maybe the OP's friend is in a situation like mine and is trying to find money wherever she can just to get by. The clothes that were given are still helping someone out, just in a different way than perhaps intended.

 

[Beckettshades]

I sell my daughters clothes on because it's the only way I can afford to buy new ones for her- and yes this does include clothes that have been bought for her by others.
However on the rare occasion we gain some handme downs I always ask if the person would like them back or passing on. I wouldn't sell those unless I really had to x

 

[Sinead82]

I wouldn't even sell to one of those clothing companies that pays per weight of bag as I believe it eats into a charity's funds to pay for what they're selling, so I would always donate. If you are in a lucky enough position to be able to buy new clothes for lo, or have friends / family to pass stuff on to you, then you should be helping out those less fortunate by donating to them. There are so many parents struggling and deprived kids out there I would rather see them benefit than make money.

I'm gonna have a little rant because this struck a nerve with me.

This is a nice thought, in theory. But sometimes people need the extra money themselves. I just lost my job last month, right as my student loan payments increased by 150%. My husband's income alone can barely cover my bills as is, let alone another $300/month. I am literally scrambling around the house every day trying to find stuff to sell so I can pay my bills. That unfortunately includes my LO's clothes, which I had planned on donating eventually. Some were gifts.

I'm not making it public knowledge amongst my friends that I can't pay my bills, so if someone sees a shirt they bought my LO for sale and thinks I'm just being greedy then that's unfortunate, but it's wrong. Maybe if you see a friend selling stuff who you assume is "well off" enough to be donating to charity instead of profiting themselves, don't be so quick to judge.

Did I think 2 years ago when I bought new clothes for my daughter that I'd be in this position? Nope. I was at my job for 7 years and never expected to be let go.

People's circumstances change. People get desperate. I think it would be nice to give someone the benefit of the doubt. Maybe the OP's friend is in a situation like mine and is trying to find money wherever she can just to get by. The clothes that were given are still helping someone out, just in a different way than perhaps intended.

Fair enough - I'm sorry if I have upset you. I am not struggling to pay my bills right now, but I know what it's like to struggle, and I know what it's like to have parents who are struggling. As such I honestly would feel guilty making money from clothes or gifts when I feel I have a responsibility to help out those who are having a difficult time and maybe struggling to feed and clothe their children. I don't need the extra income to get by, and I think that those of us in that lucky position should donate instead of make profit. I may not always be so lucky, and believe me I appreciate everything I have.

I feel very strongly that people should not sell on gifts, however, as you say people do get desperate and if I thought someone was selling on to feed and clothe their family I could fully understand it.

Also here in the UK we only make student loan repayments when we are earning, and it's a % of our income, we're v lucky. It sucks that you are stuck paying such a huge bill when you are out of work. Is there no way you could take a payment break to give yourself some breathing space? I really hope things improve for you soon x

 

[chickenlegs]

I will be very unpopular here, but it has never even occurred to me not to. I sell all of Billy's clothes and I don't think about whether they have been bought or given to us. I just see it as a way to build up the pay pal account and buy the next lot of clothes. If I gave clothes to someone, it wouldn't occur to me to care in the slightest what they decided to do with them!

 

[liz1985]

I would sell stuff id been given, I have done before. Once you given something away its upto them what they do with it. I never give things away that id be upsett about getting given away again or sold and assume other people feel the same. A neighbough gave me some clothes and specifically said if there were thing I didn't want to give it to charity so I did, but if they don't specify I would sell it on.

 

[BigAl]

I think it's distasteful personally, although I would never say anything.

I know lots of people that pass big bags of clothes around to use. You wear what you need, throw away anything that gets too tatty, and add a few new bits. That way everyone wins. Seems a bit selfish to break the cycle and cash in, particularly if you know other pregnant women.

This is only for hand me downs though, presents are different. Sell those on for sure.

 

[Foogirl]

I don't see the difference between a bought gift or a hand me down. I haven't ever sold any of Abby's clothes, I tend to store or donate them, but if I do give them away, I'd be offended if someone asked me if they could sell them. They were a gift whether they've been worn or not. If someone else wants to take the time to sell things on, good luck to them, they obviously need or want the cash more than I do.

 

[BigAl]

I guess the only difference to me is expectations. Like I said a lot of people i know pass hand me downs around. So it would just seem a bit mean to sell it on, when someone else could use the clothes/toys.

 

[RachA]

It's not something I've ever really thoughts about if I'm honest. I've passed on loads of clothes that my two have grown out on. I've always said to the recipient that they don't have to pass the back to me an they can just pass them on to other people. There have been a few exceptions but those clothes always came back no questions asked. What they other person did with those clothes I've no idea but had they sold them I don't think I'd be too bothered. I do tend to pick and choose who I pass the clothes on to. Generally speaking I pass them on to friends who don't have the money to buy many clothes themselves so if they were to sell them I'd be fine with that as I know they are living on a tight budget anyway.

I have sold on some clothes I've been given. I've never asked if I was able to but the people who gave them to me never specified what to do with them. I've never felt guilty about it because I've passed on hundreds of pounds worth of clothes so me making £20 on a few items shouldn't really be a problem.

 

[Natasha2605]

It's not something I've ever really thoughts about if I'm honest. I've passed on loads of clothes that my two have grown out on. I've always said to the recipient that they don't have to pass the back to me an they can just pass them on to other people. There have been a few exceptions but those clothes always came back no questions asked. What they other person did with those clothes I've no idea but had they sold them I don't think I'd be too bothered. I do tend to pick and choose who I pass the clothes on to. Generally speaking I pass them on to friends who don't have the money to buy many clothes themselves so if they were to sell them I'd be fine with that as I know they are living on a tight budget anyway.

I have sold on some clothes I've been given. I've never asked if I was able to but the people who gave them to me never specified what to do with them. I've never felt guilty about it because I've passed on hundreds of pounds worth of clothes so me making £20 on a few items shouldn't really be a problem.

I agree with this post. A little give and take goes both ways and I really don't see the problem with clothes gifted as presents being sold on.

 

[Scally]

I have a little group of friends- some with older children and some with younger- we have a lovely system going of passing clothes around and they carry on being passed on if not too tatty.

I have though passed many things to my step sister to then see them being sold on a facebook selling page- i always feel she should have offered them back- i would have then passed them down to the younger ones i know or pregnant friends. It did annoy me when she sold the moses basket i gave her after only having it for 2 wks. I did speak up though when my friend kindly gave her a double buggy for free and her baby hasnt even been born and i saw her selling it on facebook and my friend saw her selling it- rude just rude!

 

[shanny]

We do a lot of passing around of things in my little village and when I have a clear out of my stuff I lend/pass on / and sell - but I never sell those things which were passed to me, only the gifts or what I have bought. Just doesn't sit right and be part of the spirit in which things are given.

I would be irked too I think.

 

[Camlet]

Personally I wouldn't be to bothered if she was selling them as I just think once they have been given away it's really none of my business what happens to them when they are no longer of use to that person. I think the only thing that would possibly annoy me is if I'd given something to someone & they sold it without even using them, in that case I would only be annoyed as I would feel used & would feel like they took advantage just to make money xx