serious help needed please

[confuzzled]

hi all so a big issue here

its ovulation week and well been bedding every other day since after period but then since like saturday hubby cant ejaculate, im really worried i dunno what to do he says he looses focus and thinks too much?! i dont know how i can solve this?!he says hes enjoying it and its not me its him but what can i do?!

 

[bdawn8403]

You need to take a break. You are doing it too often and obviously putting too much pressure on him (not you but the situation). There is no real reason, other than wanting to, to be doing it every other day before you ov anyway. You should use the time before and after ov to enjoy yourselves together and make it fun. All that BD'n is just going to cause issues like you are starting to have and make things awkward between you two. Also every other day doesn't necessarily give him time to build up anything to give you, should, but not every guy is the same.

Good luck.

 

[SWLondonMum]

Hiya, yeah it's probably putting pressure on him to perform, even if he's keen to be involved in the process (it sounds like he knows what's going on with ov dates etc). In a way that might make it worse whereas if he was less interested he'd probably feel under less pressure. It's great that he's so involved but would making him a little less involved help...eg I mention my OPK+ to DH but that;s about it - I don;t speak too much about timings and which days we should be BD...like a lot of guys he's just happy with a bit of extra BD. Maybe BD a bit less straight after AF as you're a bit less fertile then anyway?? Outside the fertile window I try to BD more spontaneously/when DH wants rather than when my cycle says lol, as it feels a bit too planned sometimes when you're actively trying, doesn't it. Or have a month when you speak about it a bit less (even if you're furiously charting in the background and pretending to be spontaneous )
Sorry am no expert and every couple is different but hope something helps!

 

[TaurusBaby]

It happens all time hun and you don't need to worry. It's just performance pressure and doubt if there is anything wrong with him. It's frustrating when it happens especially when you know you have short window to catch the egg. Happened to me this cycle.....

 

[maggie111]

Having a month off from baby making is much more important to the happiness of your relationship. Happy babies deserve happy parents!!

Tell him you're stopping for a month or so, tell him you want at least a week off from sex and make sure in that week you plan some special time together, like a meal out or a picnic somewhere. Let anything that happens between you be natural.

In a week or so, make any time you have in the bedroom be about fun and arousal, not an orgasm. You can do something where you count aloud how aroused you are from 1 (not very) to 10 (orgasming) and then enjoy leading each other up to 8, back down to 5, all the way up to 9 and then stop, slow down to 3... It sounds a bit daft but it was quite fun when we had a go a couple of years ago! Tell him you're not going to allow him to get to 10, and then what do you know, he probably will anyway

Edit - it might be helpful to chart and use tests to see when you're ovulating - that way you might know when the couple of days are but you don't have to share it with him. It'll stop him thinking you "have" to do it all month. Just make a bit of extra effort in how you look, what you wear, giving him a nice meal, a good massage etc to get him in the mood "spontaneously".

 

[lusterleaf]

just wanted to let you know i am going through the same thing! definitely takes the fun out of BD.