sex life after LO

[reiller]

Hi,


For the women who have had babies already .. Did your sex life go back to normal after your LO was born?
I know you can bleed for a few weeks after the baby and depending on stitches etc it may take a while.
We had a pretty activate one before I got pregnant so I'm just curious? I dont wanna fall into the sex on his bday trap

 

[Fiore]

Hi,


For the women who have had babies already .. Did your sex life go back to normal after your LO was born?
I know you can bleed for a few weeks after the baby and depending on stitches etc it may take a while.
We had a pretty activate one before I got pregnant so I'm just curious? I dont wanna fall into the sex on his bday trap

Not just his birthday, don't forget valentines and new years eve lol!

I've been wondering the same thing so I will be interested to see answers xx

 

[Hoping]

I'm probably not really the best to answer this, as I had an episiotomy with Thomas and they stitched it up badly so I had a painful scar on my lady bits which had to be operated on six months after he was born. So I was very reluctant to let him near me until I had healed again, then we got pregnant and being very cautious (not to mention constantly sick, then fat with back pain and unable to move very well) we haven't done it since I fell pregnant. I don't have a very high sex drive anyway, so we were hardly at it like rabbits before anyway (poor hubby! lol)

 

[iwanta8a8y]

I hope so, we have never been a couple who is 'at it like rabbits' as they say

But since being pregnant i have not been up for it at all really, i really hope that changes...

 

[moomin_troll]

before i got pregnant and during the first few weeks we had a very good sexlife, i had a high sexdrive myself. then after zane, i bled for 6 weeks and had stictches. i was too scared to dtd so i made him wait 12 weeks. after that i couldnt get enough off him lol altho i seemed to had lost my orgasum, but i got it back lol.

we then got married when zane was 5 months old, and with other stresses on our relationship the sex life suffered and now i can take or leave it, but i think thats to do with my low confidence as i never did anything to get back my flat tummy which im starting now fianly lol.

so i do believe having a baby can change things due to tiredness and the extra person in the relationship but if u work together u should get back to normal x

 

[reiller]

before i got pregnant and during the first few weeks we had a very good sexlife, i had a high sexdrive myself. then after zane, i bled for 6 weeks and had stictches. i was too scared to dtd so i made him wait 12 weeks. after that i couldnt get enough off him lol altho i seemed to had lost my orgasum, but i got it back lol.

we then got married when zane was 5 months old, and with other stresses on our relationship the sex life suffered and now i can take or leave it, but i think thats to do with my low confidence as i never did anything to get back my flat tummy which im starting now fianly lol.

so i do believe having a baby can change things due to tiredness and the extra person in the relationship but if u work together u should get back to normal x

I know this is really soppy but I just miss him. I want to get back to "normal " as soonas we can but I don't want to damage anything either . He is so understanding really a lot more than I thought he would be..
So seeing as we can't actually DTD Are any of yee offering other services to your men???

 

[iwanta8a8y]

I have to say, i have been really bad, i havent been offering any other services to my OH

But then, if i have tried to instigate sex (i have done this for him, thinking he will be wanting it) he hasnt been very keen, i dont think he likes that i have a bump and he feels a bit weird about it, so we havent done it. At least i know i have tried a couple of times so he cant be too bothered about it himself at the mo, so i dont feel too bad.

Things will pick up between us in that department after bubs is here...If were not too tired, haha

 

[moomin_troll]

before i got pregnant and during the first few weeks we had a very good sexlife, i had a high sexdrive myself. then after zane, i bled for 6 weeks and had stictches. i was too scared to dtd so i made him wait 12 weeks. after that i couldnt get enough off him lol altho i seemed to had lost my orgasum, but i got it back lol.

we then got married when zane was 5 months old, and with other stresses on our relationship the sex life suffered and now i can take or leave it, but i think thats to do with my low confidence as i never did anything to get back my flat tummy which im starting now fianly lol.

so i do believe having a baby can change things due to tiredness and the extra person in the relationship but if u work together u should get back to normal x

I know this is really soppy but I just miss him. I want to get back to "normal " as soonas we can but I don't want to damage anything either . He is so understanding really a lot more than I thought he would be..
So seeing as we can't actually DTD Are any of yee offering other services to your men???

aww bless you.
having a baby is a huge deal and will change ur relationship, hopefuly for the better but it does make things difficult. my oh got jealous of zane when he was first born as he was getting all my attention and oh wasnt.

after having zane and before we dtd i did help my oh out afew times lol but now i just tell him to bog off lol as u no relationships arent easy anyway and need to be worked at, and the same goes for ur sexlife.
there are afew reasons our sexlife is suffereing right now so it doesnt happen to everyone.

also u dont have to do anything to feel close to ur oh, theres nothing better then just having a hug on the sofa while watching tv and even just having a kiss atleast once a day. and try not to take each other from granted x

 

[SRTBaby]

We were not doing it that often, our drive is about the same we dont do it everyday. Since getting pregnant we have probably done it 4 times, as i got bigger he got scared, to be honest i have zero interest in DTD so doesnt bother me.

 

[moomin_troll]

drives me mad how men think they are so big its going to hurt the baby hahahaha
i had to explain to my oh that he couldnt get thry my cervix the prat lol

 

[aliss]

Physically sex is not an issue for most women after baby (after healing), the problem is that you are both so exhausted from sleeping 2-3 hours a night and only being able to spend time together alone during naps.

You won't go back to "normal" <-- You will have a new kind of normal. What existed before as 2 will never exist again. However, don't be scared of it. Things will get back to normal but don't put more pressure on the relationship than you need to. Things will be hard enough. Just support each other and let it come back naturally.

 

[aliss]

drives me mad how men think they are so big its going to hurt the baby hahahaha
i had to explain to my oh that he couldnt get thry my cervix the prat lol

Yeah I heard that one too. I bit my tongue. No way to tell a man "uh, you aren't that big, you know that right?", won't come out right

 

[moomin_troll]

drives me mad how men think they are so big its going to hurt the baby hahahaha
i had to explain to my oh that he couldnt get thry my cervix the prat lol

Yeah I heard that one too. I bit my tongue. No way to tell a man "uh, you aren't that big, you know that right?", won't come out right

my oh didnt take kindly to my laughing at him lol but then understood he couldnt hurt zane. but a early bleed in pregnancy really scared him so it put him off sex, which as i got bigger i really didnt care as i wasnt up for it anyway lol

 

[reiller]

I am up for it but due to doc orders im not allowed to and also he is against it I think he really has an issue as its a Little girl too..
I just want to know we'll go back to a sex life that's somewhat active...

 

[moomin_troll]

everyone is different but if u want to make ur sexlife as active as u can then im sure it will be. but also it depends on lo and how he/she sleeps as theres nothing worse then being sore tired n oh trying it on lol

 

[Becky10]

We first DTD 7 weeks after the birth and I it felt like losing my virginity all over again. After that, the fear of it being painful actually made it painful iYKWIM and it took a good few months to start enjoying it again. In terms of frequency I'd say with being tired etc etc it probably only dropped about 20% to a 'new normal' as someone said. I think if sex is an important part of your relationship before you will probably make more time for it and in the early days it's a matter of getting it in during an early evening nap, before you both hit the tired wall later!!

 

[Kellycool]

We were always quite active and after I had Ashton, had to wait about 7 weeks as I had like 30 something stitches so I was petrified and it was worse than losing my virginity but he was so good, sweet and gentle about it. In those 7 weeks I did offer him other stuff as I promised myself I wouldn't become that mom who lost interest in hubby after baby. No matter how tired we were we made an effort and i find the more sex you have, the more you want.. I get quite frisky in pregnancy too haha TMI! But the whole 'sex will never physically be the same thing' did not hold true for me and could still erm climax

 

[ethansmommy]

i know! ha. one time my hubby said he felt like he was hitting up against the babys head or something lol

 

[November1984]

I'm too tired most nights even 2 years after my first.
We had an active sex life, now it's totally the opposite.

 

[trumpetbum]

Having had no stitches our sex life pretty much resumed a couple of weeks after my previous births. I find keeping the affection alive is the most important thing so that sex comes easily and naturally when you are ready. Don't feel rushed ( and remember, lube is your friend ).

Of course having children can mean lazy sleepy sex, quickies and sex in random places when you can fit it in