Sex Question and little TMI-Has this ever happened to anyone

[nluedecke]

So we are TTC #1 together (both have kids from a previous marriage) anyway I am right around ovulation time and have really been BDing every night since like last month. We (as you can tell) have only been married for 8 months been together for a total of 3 years. DH is an awesome husband helps with kids, house work, lawn work, everything. Plus treats me like a princess and if I let him will wait on me hand and foot plus can't keep his hands off of me.

So this is what confused me so much. So we had a really busy weekend he did lawn work we had a few BBQs with friend in which he is always stuck being the cook. I came in yesterday afternoon (Sunday) and took a nap. He didn't so we go to take a shower and get ready to BD and everything was fine so in the middle of sex he tells me "I am just not all the way there yet" so I said well lets change positions and try it this way. After a few minutes I knew the little he had left was gone. He apologized for it and asked that I not be mad at him that he was just tried and exhausted from the weekend and we have never had this much sex in our whole relationship. I told him it's ok I understand and in a shameful way climbed off and put my PJ's on. I was shocked and the tears just started rolling down. He kept on apologizing because he knew we were trying to get pregnant BUT that's not what I was crying for. I was crying because here I am in the mood for BD and he wasn't. I kept thinking "what is wrong with me!!! Did my husband really just turn me down!!" "Is there someone else?" "How could I not get him there?" For a minute all the work in trying to get pregnant went out the window and all I could think about was what was wrong with me and that this has never happened to me/us. I mean I thought that is what all men think about!! So my question has this ever happened to anyone?

I would love a baby and have never wanted anything more but I also love my husband and my relationship is important to me. The fact that he mentioned we have never had this much sex kind of made me feel like I am making this more of a chore for him and that is not what I want at all. And then the feeling of "What if we missed our chance to get preggers" set in.

Sorry for the long thread. I fought with myself all night and this morning on wether or not I should ask but I still am just questioning myself.

 

[wannabemomy37]

That's definitely tough, but if he is just genuinely tired then his performance would definitely be off. My OH works long hours and we both get a little frustrated because sometimes it just takes him forever and we end up just saying let's try again later/tmrw.
I doubt there is someone else - has he been acting different in any other ways? Babymaking is tough work and I do think guys think of it more as a chore sometimes because they "have to" do it certain times and certain positions (him on top to prevent leakage)
Sometimes this isn't was he (or I) want at that particular moment but we kinda just go with it for the sake of babymaking.
Perhaps sit down with him and ask him his feelings about everything and make sure you're both on the same page. Understand that he may feel pressured but assure him that you're not trying to make it like that.

 

[ToughhGal]

Awh sweetie don't feel like anything is wrong with you!! My OH on his previous job had the same problem because he was genuinely tired. Also, if he was sick it made it harder for him to hold one. If he did manage to hold one, he couldn't ejaculate. He was just worn down. Like you, I rolled over and bawled my eyes out but he told me and I can tell that it was the truth.

As for the increase in sex, don't take that as a chore. Men have a difficult time explaining theirself sometimes

Hope you get to feeling better and just remember he chose you for a reason

 

[nluedecke]

Thanks yall!!! I know it's not me but it just still breaks my heart.

 

[Ilovetomatoes]

nluedecke, BDing every night for one month is a lot. I think after a while it's become more like a chore. Even guys can get tired . You don't have to BD every night for one month to catch the egg. The sperm can live for at least 24 hours. You can do every other day for one month and see if that will help with his libido. We usually do a 2 - 3 BDs a week after AF, then pick it up when it's O time. You can also use the SMEP (sperm meet egg) method and see if that will help also. I don't think your husband is cheating on you . FX!!

 

[misspriss]

nluedecke I totally know what you mean, the few times that has happened to me for some reason it just makes me cry. I know DH is tired or just isn't up to it, but you feel so vulnerable to have put yourself completely out there and it just doesn't happen for him.

But you just have to remember he's tired, and human, and sometimes you just can't do it. It doesn't help the feelings though, they come whether we are logical or not. Anyway, I'm just saying I've been there, and the reaction is normal, even if your conscious mind knows nothing is wrong. Just try not to think about it at all anymore and move on to the next time. Not much else that can be done!

 

[jessica716]

We had the same issue the first week I came off bcp and we were actively ttc... I think its a performance thing whereas they know how much we want it and because they do too and they just put too much pressure on themselves...

I felt the same way but its not a personal thing, i didn't let OH know i was upset but I asked him a few days later wether he was sure he wanted to start ttc and he asked if it was because of that and swore that that wasn't the reason and he wanted to try more than anything...

Try not to stress yourself over it

 

[nluedecke]

Thanks yall!! I knew I wasn't the only women that has gone through this but I just had to hear it. We had the same problem last night but this morning he told me he had taken a muscle relaxer for his back both times. Do you think that had anything to do with it? The last time he had taken them was when his back went out and well there wasn't any BDin going on then. He said he didn't even think about it until this morning when he was trying to piece together everything and find the reason for it.

 

[ToughhGal]

There are some medications that actually do cause erectile problems. Usually just temporarily.

 

[misspriss]

It sounds to me a muscle relaxer could cause problems.