Shame?

F

faolan5109

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As much as all of us love our child most of them were not planned. How is it that You all deal with that fact and deal with the societal shame put on us?
 
I dont really feel that people 'look down on me' because my LO was unplanned :shrug:
 
I feel no shame. My LO was a surprise and I don't think anyone 'looks down' on me :shrug:
 
both my LO's were planned but i feel judged by the fact i chose to have them so close at such a youngish age (I'm 20 in feb and bubs is due in march)...
 
the only shame on me was from my peers and family friends now that Quintin is 2 and people know him. I rarely get someone saying something awful..
 
I don't have any shame. This isn't the 50's :shrug:

THANK. YOU.
I said "This isn't the '30s."

There are so many programs to help with unwed mothers and single mothers.... I don't think there is any shame involved anymore lol.
 
You ladies must live in much more progressive areas than I. I don't feel ashamed, but there is a LOT of bullshit in my area. My family and people I don't know all made me feel so horrible, like a stupid girl, like having a baby would destroy my life, how ashamed they were that I was having a baby out of wedlock.....I just try to ignore it tbh.
 
I don't feel any shame whatsoever!
 
You ladies must live in much more progressive areas than I. I don't feel ashamed, but there is a LOT of bullshit in my area. My family and people I don't know all made me feel so horrible, like a stupid girl, like having a baby would destroy my life, how ashamed they were that I was having a baby out of wedlock.....I just try to ignore it tbh.

Thats ridiculous:shrug: although when i found out i was pregnant and went to my doctor, he was like 60 odd, he said to me 'are you sure u want to keep this baby, seen as you arent married' i was like WTF, this isnt the stone age
 
I know get looks from other people snickers from own peers and older mothers. Its mostly a silent mocking to be honest. Its very hard at times to deal with it. Regardless of how much I know I am a good mother i hate to have me and my son judged.
 
Ignore it :shrug: my mom still says "oh i you hadnt had a baby you could have been going out now look at you" :grr:
 
My mother was disappointed, and ridiculed me for the first twelve months, saying ' dont get to excited, remember what happened last time?' referring to my mmc, when she was the one who went out and bought a bunch of crap for that baby. Anyway, emmas older now, and I dont get so many looks... People just leave it for the most part...
 
I felt very ashamed my entire pregnancy. Random people would stare at me but what really got to me was that my dad ridiculed me in front of family members and people would look at me like I was being a naughty child when they found out. I had to defend my choice to keep LO for months to almost everyone. I don't feel so ashamed now and don't get many dirty looks now but I am ashamed of the fact that we have to live partly on benefits but I suppose that could happen at any age.
 
I myself have never felt ashamed .. it's more like my family was ashamed of me! My mom didn't even attend her birth because she was still having trouble accepting the fact I was pregnant. My snotty Uncle would talk about me all the time to everyone, but I didn't really care because he thinks he's better than everyone else anyway :shrug: I really didn't see any shame in it at all. Sure I got stares once in a while, but I just shot a huge grin right back at them because I was happy :shrug:
 
I felt very ashamed my entire pregnancy. Random people would stare at me but what really got to me was that my dad ridiculed me in front of family members and people would look at me like I was being a naughty child when they found out. I had to defend my choice to keep LO for months to almost everyone. I don't feel so ashamed now and don't get many dirty looks now but I am ashamed of the fact that we have to live partly on benefits but I suppose that could happen at any age.

this. I had to defend my choice and keeping Quin from people too.now I tell people "see how wrong you were? :haha:"
 

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