My stories are this:
Wake up ridiculously early, any day of the 2 ww. Bleary eyed, make my way to the bathroom. Find the plastic pee cup, aim my stream in there, being careful not to fall asleep on the job and flood the cup - or even drop the cup in the toilet.
Rip open as many HPT's brands as I could find, dip them one by one. Up to the max line for as long as it takes for the dye to start processing on the screen.
Lay the test flat on my knee as I continue to just sit there. No wiping, no poo - just sit there, trying to open my eyes for longer than a second.
Doze for a minute or two, look at the test. Blurgh. No test line. Let me close my eyes, rub them for a minute and wake up properly to look properly, I'm sleep blind.
Looks again, still no test line.
Take 20 pictures and edit each within the time frame, tweak the crap out of them with as many photo / test checking apps as I have virtually possible on my iPhone. If one app missed it - the other might not?
Admit defeat, nothing there in any of the apps, invert the best picture - accept nothing is there.
Shamelessly wipe my fu fu, then try to get up, knees are red from leading on them. Legs gone dead. Steady myself up, holding onto the sink. Flush and wash hands. Throw the test in the bin in disgust, claiming 'what does it know' or just putting it down to 'it's too early, being only 3dpo'.
Open door, back to bed to find future husband awake and asking if I'd had a 'nice sh!t?'
Shamelessly agreeing it was a nice sh!t because if he knew you were peeing on sticks at only 3dpo - he'd go mad.
Continue the day, making sure to repeat most of the above steps.
Repeat it all again tomorrow.