There I am... More than 2 years trying. 3 months one femara , all :BFN: . 1 x IUI :BFN: and my first ICSI cycle was also a :BFN:
Strangely I am not writing to share how depressed I am. I feel extremely positive. We had 10 eggs retrieved, 8 fertilised. 1 made it to blastocyst but sadly was abnormal. So we put 2 embryos back on day 5: 1 of excellent grade, the other one good. Sadly all my other embryos stopped growing so none to freeze!
I can't explain it but I knew from day 1 those two little embryos would not make it. I looked at them in my uterus and I did not see a future. I know it sounds harsh but that's the truth: I knew they were not winners and I was right. Although I took care of them during the TWW.
The other bizarre thing is that I did not find the IVF procedure emotionally draining at all. I went abroad without my husband and I found it all pretty easy. Everyone at the clinic was amazing and so nice that made it easier I guess as well.
Financially my health insurance covers it up to 4 times so it also helps to relax I suppose.
Here is my experience on my first cycle of IVF/ICSI:
*pain: the injections are not a walk in the park but they did not bother me. You are a little bit sore after egg retrieval but that's it. Very manageable.
*number of meltdown : 2!
one when the doctor asked if we wanted to put back one or two embryos. I got really confused and the meltdown lasted a few minutes. Number 2 was when I was told on day 5 transfer that my blastocyst was abnormal , I had 1 very good, 1 good but the rest couldn't even be frozen. Lasted 10 minutes.
I did not have a meltdown when AF arrived at all.
*cost: they are always unexpected "hidden" cost. You will be invoice for the IVF or ICSI Procedure but how long you'll be on your meds for, how many scans and blood test you will have: no one knows and It does add up!
The worst part of IVF is the dreaded TWW. However for the 5 days transfer like me it actually goes slightly faster!
My advice during that period is to keep yourself busy. Sort out your DVD's alphabetticaly (yes I am not ashamed to say I did this) , a DIY project ... Whatever! Do not Google every little possible thing : it will drive you crazy. Also, do not buy pregnancy tests. If you have them, you will use them but hey if they are not available you can't use them!
Lastly, if you are like me and your IVF/ICSI first treatment failed. Do not feel down
think positive and see it as a first trial . Doctors get to know your body and how you react : next time they will know exactly what to do so stay positive.
However, I will probably be a bloody mess if my second ICSI fails!
Lots of love to all of you xxx
Strangely I am not writing to share how depressed I am. I feel extremely positive. We had 10 eggs retrieved, 8 fertilised. 1 made it to blastocyst but sadly was abnormal. So we put 2 embryos back on day 5: 1 of excellent grade, the other one good. Sadly all my other embryos stopped growing so none to freeze!
I can't explain it but I knew from day 1 those two little embryos would not make it. I looked at them in my uterus and I did not see a future. I know it sounds harsh but that's the truth: I knew they were not winners and I was right. Although I took care of them during the TWW.
The other bizarre thing is that I did not find the IVF procedure emotionally draining at all. I went abroad without my husband and I found it all pretty easy. Everyone at the clinic was amazing and so nice that made it easier I guess as well.
Financially my health insurance covers it up to 4 times so it also helps to relax I suppose.
Here is my experience on my first cycle of IVF/ICSI:
*pain: the injections are not a walk in the park but they did not bother me. You are a little bit sore after egg retrieval but that's it. Very manageable.
*number of meltdown : 2!
one when the doctor asked if we wanted to put back one or two embryos. I got really confused and the meltdown lasted a few minutes. Number 2 was when I was told on day 5 transfer that my blastocyst was abnormal , I had 1 very good, 1 good but the rest couldn't even be frozen. Lasted 10 minutes. I did not have a meltdown when AF arrived at all.
*cost: they are always unexpected "hidden" cost. You will be invoice for the IVF or ICSI Procedure but how long you'll be on your meds for, how many scans and blood test you will have: no one knows and It does add up!
The worst part of IVF is the dreaded TWW. However for the 5 days transfer like me it actually goes slightly faster!
My advice during that period is to keep yourself busy. Sort out your DVD's alphabetticaly (yes I am not ashamed to say I did this) , a DIY project ... Whatever! Do not Google every little possible thing : it will drive you crazy. Also, do not buy pregnancy tests. If you have them, you will use them but hey if they are not available you can't use them!
Lastly, if you are like me and your IVF/ICSI first treatment failed. Do not feel down
think positive and see it as a first trial . Doctors get to know your body and how you react : next time they will know exactly what to do so stay positive. However, I will probably be a bloody mess if my second ICSI fails!
Lots of love to all of you xxx
