She used to be one of "us"

[Blue12]

I was going to post this in my journal - but decided it is too crazy to not share.

We need to make a pledge girls lol.

Okay so I was talking to someone at work about my situation and someone else walked in and overheard a word and started asking details like crazy. At this point I thought whatever.

And guess what - she had 3 laps done after 4 years ttc - and right before she was going to start ivf she went with her dh on a long romantic blah blah blah trip. And guess what - at her bloods before ivf - that is right ladies - she they found that she was pg "cause she relaxed". I wasn't rude but I told her that she is the exception and not the norm - and that I am not holding out for miracles like that, but blah blah blah wonderful story.

It shocked the f*** out of me because after her own struggles - how could she give THIS advice. I know it was 10 years ago for her (she had 2 kids btw) but how can you give that kind of advice - and she was genuinely giving it as advice and not as a wonderful (in your face) story.

I thought we should make a pledge as bnb girls to never say this advice if and when we make it out of this situation alive.

many

and thanks for listening...

Blue12

 

[BizyBee]

I'll make the pledge! xx

 

[Farie]

Yup, I'll pledge!
Why is it people only remember the good and not the long agonizing wait?

 

[DragonMummy]

christ i'm pledging! It took 3 years to conceive my first, albeit naturally, but you don't forget - clearly this woman is insane. Relax - pah! Fluke, more like!

 

[Oneday]

I agree I hate that saying more than any other. Yes it might happen to those people they can't find a cause with but for people like us no amount of relaxing will remove my adheshions and fix my ovary and tube. Well done for not losing it with her x

 

[ineedaseed]

I pledge too! She should understand all too well what it's like

 

[hayz1981]

I will make the pledge! Someone who is 6 months pregnant gave me similar advice a couple of weeks ago after I told her I was just starting ivf!! Oh ok I'll cancel my ivf cycle and relax instead!!

I love this pledge!!

 

[fifi-folle]

Yep heard this, and the "If you stop trying it will happen!" What is it with people?!? You did well not to rip her head off, get me on the wrong day and she would have heard exactly why this wasn't going to happen, FFS!

I solemnly pledge never to make stupid suggestions about relaxing leading to BFP!

I've actually talked about this suggestion with my hairdresser (more like a friend after seeing her since age 14) she tried for 10 years and finally got her little girl after several failed IVFs and finally ICSI (they discovered her eggs have too thick an outer coating for sperm to penetrate). She's someone who tried everything to get her BFP and is great for sensible advice, I just pity the other customers as we're talking about CM, BDing and everything!

 

[ACLIO]

I will make the pledge. When we got married everyone kept going on about you'll be coming back BFP cos you'll be so relaxed BLah Blah Blah. 15 months on and nothing so they where talking out of there arse (sorry probably too early in the morning for that rant lol)

We have our first ICSI appointment next month

xx

 

[ANGEL223]

Isnt she the lucky one! Count me in with you gals!

 

[mrssunshine78]

I'll pledge this too - how can she say that grrr makes me so mad

xx

 

[CareBear]

I'll make this pledge as well as I keep getting told this at the moment. I keep explaining that I've never obsessed over TTCing, I've never charted, in 2 years 10 months of trying I've only used OPK's for about 4 cycles just to see if I was ovulating and the ony time we have made sure we DTD on the days we had knew for certain I was ovulating was when I as on clomid and had the HCG jab which again has only been 6 cycles. (BTW just in case - on the cycles we didn't make sure it was the right time we just BD'd every other day / every two days IYSWIM)

 

[Love0411]

I'll take the pledge!!! I have heard over and over again to 'relax and it will happen,' 'you are just trying to hard,' 'just get drunk one night,' blah blah blah....REALLY!?!?! I actually was just told 2 days ago by my own mother that if we stop trying it will happen...just cause my brother was trying for only 3 months and his wife got pregnant cause 'they stopped trying 1 month.' She said he said that they got pregnant cause they stopped trying and he thinks that I should do the same. OMG!!!! I am so with you ladies.

 

[Blue12]

So nice to have all of your support on this... I hope our "miracles" - not through relaxation - are on there way shortly.

 

[silarose28]

It's amazing how quickly people forget just how ANNOYING this kind of advice is!!! Argh!

 

[jodie4805]

I pledge never to say anything about relaxing.

 

[wrightywales]

ill take that pledge too xx

 

[hopesforababy]

I'll take the pledge also! I will also pledge never to tell someone to "just get drunk and do it" as my FIL told me. Needless to say, we don't talk to them anymore!!

 

[CaseyBaby718]

I am completely on board with this plead.

I don't know how many times i've been told "If you just relax it will happen..."

YA! 2 year later.... nothing.... and i'm 22!!!! I should be getting pregnant just by the word!!

I'll never tell anyone such non sense advice! I will support and understand the battles they are going through.

 

[chefamy1122]

I take the pledge too, and give every one of you girls permission to track me down and slap me if a miracle happens I get knocked up and say it!