should i source him viagra!!!!???

[wanabamummy]

We are only in 3mths of TTC, but i now feel that i am in the swing of reading my body and doing my temps.

However my OH has always had a lower sex drive than me. I thought things would change when we started to ttc. but its only upped cos i have tried it on.

We had a barny the other night cos 'he was tired' and i told him that we should stop trying cos he clearly is not interested. but he is says he is , he has only got used to the idea that there are only a certain amount of days that i am fertile (even though he managed to produce 2 kids 13 years ago with a previous relationship). and he felt like it was a science project and gone where the days that you did it and fell pregnant. i told him it is SCIENCE!!! thats how the blooming body works!!! he feels like he is losing the me and him enjoying part. i told him that i always enjoy it and i am thinking yey lots of sex!! hmmm....

anyhow, i managed to get him to do it 2 days in a row! wow!!! but i just felt that he wasnt quite with me on day 2.... which has made me so sad.

I thought about things yesterday and came home and told him that next mth i will stop my temps, stop my chart, try to stop counting my days, stop looking up stuff on the net and try to forget for a month and see how we go. he said that he didnt think i could do that. cos i have read so much.

I told him i would try as long as we have sex more frequently. he agreed... but i am not sure he will go through with this. and i dont want to be the one to keep going for it. This makes me so upset feel like crying as i type. cos i feel like this is a test for him and i will probably miss out next mth.

I told him i wanted a summer baby so that the child can enjoy their birthday in the sun, and everyone wants to have fun in the summer. he said i had obsesessed way to much over birth dates. but i have always thought that being a summer baby myself...

Gosh i am rambling, but i cant speak to anyone about this cos they say i should just 'chill' out and it will happen when it happens.

anyway my point is, should i source him viagra (not that i have a clue where to get it) and do you think that would help him.?

thanks

 

[WannaB]

Im not in the same boat as you, my dh is like a rabbit thank god! But I havnt told him anything, sounds like Im going behind his back, but Im not. He's said he wants a child and he's ready and has just left it at that. He's one of those fellows that would feel pressured if I gave him times and dates he has to perform on, so I simply dont. He doesnt really have to know the ins and outs, I just make sure I jump him when I need too, and he's none the wiser. Hmm sounds so calculated when I read what Ive just typed!

 

[wanabamummy]

Yes i tried to do the not tell him thing this month and try it wen needed. but thats why i got upset. cos we did it at the weekend but i am due to ov this week so tried it on again. but i think cos we did it at the weekend he thinks thats enough.

before we were trying to ttc we only had sex at weekends. and that was only once and then maybe it would be 2 weeks after that!! then he would snap at me for getting in a mood if we didnt do it one weekend. like 'sex' was all i thought about.!!

Oh i dont know....

 

[TrishyC]

Wouldn't he have to get himself a script for viagra - sorry I am in the dark about that stuff...? Which would make him feel worse, maybe?

Why don't you go to a naturopath and ask for something vit based.... my dear friend here told me about ginseng being good for men's....ahem... energy(!!) There are preparations for energy in general at your local chemist or something.... Could try it out!? Gd Lk!

 

[wanabamummy]

yer i just looked it up actually. Viagra is for men who cant get it up.

He doesnt have that problem...... he is just not a horny man unfortunately. will try the herbal route as yu suggested. t

thanks

 

[xkissyx]

i sourced some off the net herbal stuff we've used a few times ... it's called golden root complex and it's resonably price it's about £20 for 8 ..... although it doesn't make him as energetic as viagra does it does however get him staying hard longer and give him the wanting for more but a downside is because it keeps him hard for longer it can take longer for him to climax on the upside tho 1 pill can last upto 18 hours so even tho he won't be solid for 18 it means he'll want it for upto 18 hours regardless of how tired he claims to be hehe.....

 

[littledemonme]

Viagra will PREVENT you from getting pregnant. Get him some Maca, you can buy it from good alternative medicine shops or online - it increases sperm numbers and mobility and has the handy side effect of well, to be blunt, making him horny!!!
TMI! I'm sorry!!!!!

 

[Crypto1976]

There is conflicting evidence about viagra causing birth defects.

However medication aside I would suggest that the more pressure you put on your oh the worse this problem is going to get.

Men are not sperm machines and clearly in order to get pregnant you need sperm on certain days for men with low sex drives in becomes a viscious circle when they dont feel like sex and are expected to perform on demand.

Why not trying to spice things up. Make him feel loved rather than a sperm factory! Honestly, part of my work involves sexual health and in the situation you have described generally the more pressure you put on him the worse this will get.

Also put yourself in his shoes. How would you feel if he presented you with a tablet on the basis that your performance wasnt up to scratch? Pretty lousy I would guess....

Why dont both of you attend the GP, discuss that you are ttc and take it from there.... I believe there are other ways to address male sex drive.

Good luck hun! XX

 

[wanabamummy]

Thats the thing. i dont ask him for sex all the time. and i dont demand it. I dont think of him as a sperm factory. i just thought that as we agreed to try for a baby he would think that we do actually need to have sex to make a baby. thats all.

And if i try to make love to him on fertile days and he pushes me away how am i supposed to react.

I am not going down the viagra route i was just at my wits end this morning. i have found some ginseng in the cupboard. thats meant to give you energy so maybe i cud introduce that to him.

I am down, cos he just lets me talk and doesnt say anyting in response. i cry myself to sleep. i want this so bad but if we go down the route of just having sex when he is horny we wont concive for a long time.

 

[GonnaBaDaddy]

Hi wanabamummy
I was previously limited on my sex drive for quite some time.
I had a discussion with the partner, she had asked me to go to the doctors and tell them that I am suffering erectile dysfunction (this was a lie to get meds) but it was the best decision I have made so far.
I was given Sildenafil Teva 100mg tablets. My sex drive went up 5x more than what it was.. and now, I am a daddy to be. am very excited as this is going to be my 1st child. but now that I am not taking this medication, my sex drive remains at it's peak. if anything, talk to your partner and encourage him to go to the doctors, get a little help, even he might think that its his best decision yet.
I have no regrets.
Good luck

 

[clucas1988]

my hubby has a normal sex drive. but obviously ttc takes alotta sex, so...i decided to get a baby my hubby needed some incentive and some fun too!
sooo..lol i dressed up in sexy underwear, and OMG worked a treat! lol
he loved it!
also try dif lubricants that are safe when TTC, just spice it up, make it sexy for him, men need abit of visual and sexualness (if thats a word lol) when it comes to this stuff! we are happy cos we want the baby, yes they want the baby too, but they can sometimes be abit turned off by 'Honey im ovulating!' , so , keep that stuff to yourself abit, and sex it up for your OH! best advice i can give you! Goodluck x

 

[Rcp925]

Hey-I noticed my hubby's sex drive was a lot lower a couple months ago (before we had the ttc convo). Once we decided to ttc, I brought it up and we talked about what it could be. Found out that a low-carb diet contributes to low sex drive, which is something he had started in January to help lose holiday weight. So, in addition to increasing the amount of carbs he ate, he started taking maca powder and a supplement called horny goat weed (yes, really. That's the name). Both maca and horny goat weed are completely natural and have worked for him a lot. His sex drive is back with a serious vengeance and it's definitely NOT all because he threw in an extra piece of bread. Google maca and the goat weed and do some research on them before you decide. Good luck.