Should we consider IUI?

[sarah2211]

DH and I have been TTC for almost 12 months now. He has a varicolcele but his SA was perfect. I have PCOS and thought I was ovulating, turns out I'm not. After failing Metformin and 50mg of Clomid I'm trying next cycle with 100mg and Metformin.

My hopes are low and we are feeling really bummed about it all.

The difficult part of it all is that DH is in the army. It's likely he'll be away from December 2016-April 2017. Then, it's possible he could be deployed again middle-late next year. So this could potentially be our last cycle to try until April next year, then he could be off again 2-4 cycles later.

It's his job, but it means we have to put our lives on hold. Having a baby and a large family is all that we want. DH and I have had a talk about it and he agrees IUI with a frozen sample would be our best choice.

I'm feeling like this is a big step and obviously it is complex. People will ask how we got pregnant with my husband out of the country etc. Plus if I have a MC I'll be here to deal with it on my own.

I'd love any thoughts or suggestions. Thanks

 

[KatO79]

sarah2211 I would think that it's definitely worth considering at this point. They say if you haven't conceived within 1 year of TTCing, then chances of it happening naturally go way down. If you want to try naturally for a few months, then do that but if you feel like you're in a rut with naturally TTCing then IUI would be a great option to conceive your baby quicker. I also don't see the problem in telling people you did IUI if they ask, I use whatever opportunity I can to try and educate people on infertility and am open about our LO being conceived by IVF. There's no shame in infertility! If people choose to make you feel bad, then that's their issue and aren't people worth associating with. Don't let them try telling you any different though if they try to shame you in any way for doing IUI, let it roll off your back and tell them that you don't wish to discuss it any further and change the subject. I do hear you on the MC concern though and if you don't have any close friends or family to lean on during if it should happen, then it may be worth considering the timing of your IUI. On the other hand, you don't want to keep postponing it as getting pregnant only gets harder with age.

 

[MMW430]

I can understand you not wanting to tell people the way you got pregnant, even though there's no shame in it. Our first was an IVF baby (first try), our second was IUI (second try), I'm not ashamed of how my children were conceived, but I also don't tell everyone I meet either, because it just isn't their business, and I'm a private person. I think you need to figure out if you're okay with delaying things. Is the fact that some one might ask how it happened, or that you MIGHT miscarry (not everyone does. I've never experienced that, thankfully) worth delaying your plans?

 

[sarah2211]

Thanks ladies,

Kat, I'm only 26, so technically I have lots of time. But that's not working in our favor at the moment though. DH and I would like at least 4 children and that obviously doesn't just happen over night. My doctor thinks it's fine to take a 'measured approach' because I'm young. But being this age and wanting 1-2 children is in my opinion, slightly different to being this age and wanting 4+ children. I'm also taking Clomiphene and Metformin, so I've pretty much given up on it happening naturally. I'm ok with people knowing it was IUI we used to conceive, but I know not everyone who wonders will ask. Of course that their problem, but just something to think abut.

MMW, that's the same for me. It's a personal thing and I don't think everyone needs to know how we are trying to conceive. But people will guess and ask. Of course if I feel pregnant in the middle of my husband's deployment, using frozen sperm for an IUI probably won't be everyone's first though. Plus it'll probably become a running joke. I had a MC earlier in the year and it was tough. But I can imagine how much tougher it would be dealing with my husband deployed and miscarrying

 

[MMW430]

I wanted to be done by 30. I'm 28, and done. Personally, I would be going for it. There isn't even any guarantee it'll work the first try. Obviously you hope that it will, but if it didn't work, at least you'll have tried and been able to be productive while he's not physically here. I'm so sorry for your loss.

 

[sarah2211]

Thank you MMW. Our nurse emailed today and said if I don't have any luck on my next round of Clomid we can talk through other options. I'm not expecting that it's going to be anything significant really. They've actually said they only want me to go from 50mg to 75mg next cycle but I've got a bit spare so I'm upping it to 100mg.

I'm so glad you got your LOs in your time frame

 

[mara16jade]

I'm on my 2nd round of clomid (finished the last pill yesterday). After 13+ cycles and one MC, if this clomid cycle doesn't work, we're doing IVF in November. If you can't do IVF right now, I'd ask about injectible medications and IUI. I hope this next cycle works for you!!!

https://i1318.photobucket.com/albums/t649/mara16jade1/Screenshot_2016-10-15-12-28-40_zpsflk980hv.png

 

[KatO79]

sarah2211 if you don't have any problem with people knowing then what's the problem? You can’t live your life in fear of what people who don't know will think because really : who cares what they think??!! I've stopped caring about what other people think and it makes life so much easier and I'm a much happier person. If people think ill of you because of how you got pregnant then that's all on them. People like that aren't worth having in your life and you should definitely not base your decision to do IUI or not on what they'll think. You need to do what makes you happy, life is simply too short to base your life on what others may think. So nope it's not worth thinking about, it's a complete non-issue, at least it would be for me.

 

[sarah2211]

Thanks Mara, I have seen that chart before. I have PCOS not unexplained infertility so I'm guessing the odds for me are slightly higher, as long as the treatment makes me ovulate. My doctor thinks we should be taking a considered approach because I'm young but I don't want to wait any longer.

Kat, thanks. I guess I'm ok with people knowing but my husband is a high ranking officer with a number of soldiers below him. Reputation can be pretty important. Plus, I'm ok with people close to me knowing, but I also feel it's private. I think we have the right to some privacy. I don't think it would be enough to stop me from going through with IUI but it's just a consideration.

 

[mara16jade]

Oh good. Yeah, your chances are higher then!