Should we tell the in-laws?

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - First Trimester' started by sweetm, Jun 5, 2011.

  1. sweetm

    sweetm Pregnant with my first

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    DH and I were thinking of keeping our big news private until at least the 10 week mark, but we're finding it a bit hard to keep the news from his parents. We live with DH's parents, and my MIL insists on doing all the cooking, but she doesn't know I'm pregnant and can't eat (or can't keep down) certain foods she makes.

    They are going to be thrilled by the news, but I just don't want to get their hopes up. I'm so early in this pregnancy and anything can happen. My MIL would be devastated if we lost the baby. But, it's quite hard to keep it a secret when I turn green at the dinner table.

    Should I just tell them the news and explain to them that it's very early?
     
  2. laubth

    laubth Well-Known Member

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    i have told mine as i knew they would know as soon as i wasnt drinking - its an personal choice but it wont do any harm :)
     
  3. RaychBunni

    RaychBunni Well-Known Member

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    We told my OH's mother, my mother and grandmother. And everybody else guessed within the week, it wasn't hard I've had clear as day symptoms and with facebook it's easy to blip. I was 4 weeks when I told everyone and spend the last three days of the week in hospital with doctors thinking it ectopic. Which thankfully baby is not. Tell family right now because if by all the bad luck in the world something goes wrong you will get the support and love you need. I kept my pregnancy a secret last year and fell over and miscarried before I had the chance to say anything and it was very hard for my OH to process never mind his family.


    Good luck sharing the house, I hope it's a big one. I did my nut in sharing the MIL's house for a few months.
     
  4. collie_crazy

    collie_crazy 1 Angel, 1 rainbow growin

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    We told my mum and OHs parents pretty much as soon as we found out. We figured if we did suffer a loss we would want their support anyway.
     
  5. XxCalxX

    XxCalxX Well-Known Member

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    well we told OHs parents at about 8 weeks.. and only told my parents yesterday but we dont live with parents so was easier to keep it a secret..My mum thinks i should of told her sooner and now shes fussing over me about eating sensibly etc lol.

    I guess its a bit tricky with the food situation..i'd say seeing as you live with them you may have to tell them,as they might worry that your ill or something if your feeling sick. Im sure they will understand,obviously they would know that early on there is higher chances of things going wrong,atleast you will have their support.so yeah i say go for it :)
     
  6. sweetm

    sweetm Pregnant with my first

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    I think I might have to tell them even though it is so early. Some foods my MIL cooks make my stomach turn, especially rice, garlic and parsley. I've been trying to pretend that I'm having heartburn, but I crave spicy and sour foods which should be avoided for heartburn.

    My MIL doesn't keep snack foods in the house, so I'm always starving. I want to go buy some healthy snacks without having her say to me that I shouldn't snack after supper.
     
  7. K477uk

    K477uk Mum of One!

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    It's very tricky living together, and may find that it comes out anyway... IMO If the worse should happen (and God forbid it doesn't) but I'd rather have the support of family who know why I'm upset!

    I told my parents at 7/8 weeks but it was just because that's when they were visiting.
     
  8. Pocketmonster

    Pocketmonster Well-Known Member

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    Ahhhh it is difficult....especially with the food scenario.

    We aren't telling any family until the 12 weeks mark. We want to know everything is Ok before all the excitement really. But is a personal choice. Maybe you could help a little with the cooking and then tailor your meal a little more to your tastes without it being obvious?
     
  9. 5-a-side

    5-a-side Well-Known Member

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    We didnt want to tell anyone yet, but we dont like hiding things from our children, so they got told and the "grand-parents" were also told over the weekend. It isnt my preference but at least I will have the emotional support if needed.
    The only problem now is the fact that so many people know it'll be out before the end of the day. But what will be will be.
    Its a totally personal choice.
     
  10. swanxxsong

    swanxxsong pregnant w my rainbow!

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    we told both sets of our parents when we found out, and I was only 3 weeks and change. I know there was a huge risk, and still is, of anything happening, but my mom and sister are two of my best friends and if something happened, I'd be leaning on them for support without doubt. and he is really close to his parents too, especially his dad, so he felt compelled to do the same.

    I'd say that if you're living with them, especially, sure she'd be devastated if something happened but if something happened... she'd still find out, I'd imagine? so if you feel comfortable with them keeping it quiet, I'd tell them if I were you. :)

    H&H 9 months to you! xo
     
  11. ASBO_ALI

    ASBO_ALI Another live one :o)

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    we're going to wait until one of them insults me and says im getting fat!! LOL... Could be quite a wait as i didnt start showing until 6 months with my first!! Although im starting to podge out a bit at the moment (only 10 weeks). x
     
  12. sweetm

    sweetm Pregnant with my first

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    Thanks for all the reassurance! DH and I ended up telling my in-laws about the pregnancy, and as expected, they're thrilled. MIL has started asking me what I feel like eating before she goes off and does her cooking, which is really nice cuz a lot of foods make my stomach turn.

    I'm still going to wait a few more weeks before I tell my side of the family.
     
  13. Housewife83

    Housewife83 Wife and Mum of 1 boy

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    I wasn't going to tell anyone but for practical reasons we spilled the beans. I'm glad I did because even if the worst does happen I want people to know.

    I think given that you are living with them it will be hard to conceal, particularly if you end up with bad morning sickness.
     

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