Single Mom by Choice

[breatrix]

I did a search and the last thread I could find on this topic was back in 2012. Am I the only single mom by choice here?

I've struggled with endometriosis since I was 19 and knew I needed to conceive soon if I was ever going to. But, my last LTR ended two years ago and I wasn't willing to wait to fall for someone new. I have a great job and I'm completely independent so I made the decision to conceive on my own (with a known donor) and now I'm 11 weeks into a very wanted, very joyful pregnancy.

So, anyone else make this choice?

 

[Dezireey]

No, I was not a single mum by choice but totally understand about endometriosis as I also suffered with that for years and I admire your decision, good for you. You will be a happy bunny with your LO, congratulations sweetie xx

 

[teal]

No, not by choice but congratulations to you xx

 

[Rags]

Hi. Don't worry you're not alone. I am a SMBC and delighted with it. This has to be the best thing I've done in my life - and believe me I've done a lot of good things! I am a fair bit older than you and always knew if I didn't meet the right guy I'd go it alone. I have a fabulous 4 year old son conceived via IUI using donor sperm from a tracable (but unknown to me) donor. There are some other women about on the site who have gone down the same route but I'm not sure how often they come on to this thread. There is a thread running on the assisted conception section with a few women, several in thier early 20's, currently trying to concieve, it's title is 'Any solo mum's out there?' - might be worth dropping in there and having a bit of a read/saying 'hi'.

I'm delighted that you are on route to having your little bundle. How is it all going so far?

 

[flametla]

Hi,

I just recently decided to be a SMBC. Due to the way my life is going,"it's do or die" time. I'm starting to gather info, track my body, and see the doctor. Seems to be taking forever to get anywhere and at the same time i'm like "woah, moving way fast here."

 

[mirandala]

Hey there!
I'm kind of a single mother by choice... well, it's complicated. I have a partner but we've been together for less than a year and really aren't in a position to parent together. So I'm going to be moving home where I have more of a support network and my partner will be staying here before the baby is due and parenting by myself. I'm not sure if we will still stay together romantically or not. I used an unknown SD (I'm also not straight, and my partner doesn't produce sperm anyway). How did you conceive? Did you do IUI?
I had fertility testing, and my levels were all wonky and the drs said I should have my babies within 3 years or so. I would love more than one, and so I've decided not to wait and am now 4 wks pregnant.
Making the decision to parent alone is a huge decision. I have a plethora of smbc books, and hope it goes as smoothly as possible.
Let me know how your journey is going!!!

 

[holdontohope]

I am a single mom by choice also and I am in my early 20s. I also have stage 4 endometriosis and I had just ended a 6 year relationship when I was told it was now or never to get pregnant for me. So I went for it on my own using an unknow sperm donor. My daughter is 8 months old and it's been a very rewarding experience for me!! I would do it all over again in a heartbeat

 

[c.30]

I'm a single mum by choice. I'm 34 (35 in June), been single for over a decade but needed to be a mummy before it was too late. My girl's just turned one and I'm slowly beginning to think about trying for a sibling with my donor but being a single mum to 2 does scare me a bit.

Congrats on the pregnancy

 

[BrandiCanucks]

I'm kind of both. I have three kids from my marriage and have been separated for two years. I'm 29 weeks now with number 4 by a known donor. So SMBC for this baby!

 

[Gilka]

I'm a SMBC, or I will be!!
I split up with my partner at 39 and realised that I was running out of time. I'd never really met the right person or kind of been in a position to have a child but this split and my age made me realise that if I didn't do it now I wasn't going to have a choice because my 'clock would stop'.

So I conceived through a sperm donor, which is a journey in itself. Was losing hope, didn't think it would happen due to finding the right one when it happened on the 2nd month of trying with a new donor.

My only worry is who I'll have with me during labour and birth. Not close to my mum and don't think I want her in the room and not close to any girl friends, my best friend is a bloke. He has offered to be with me but am not sure yet. It's not a major worry, I'll cope, I always do.

This baby is something I've waited a long time for and I just can't wait to have him/her here with me.

 

[birdlee337]

I am a single momma by choice. I have severe endometriosis and adenomyosis. Been suffering for 10+ years...tons of surgeries. ..meds ...u name it. Was told if I wanted to have a child I had to now with help of course. So at 32...now 33...I did an iui with donor sperm...and the second one worked!!! I am 37 weeks tomorrow and really due at any time now...been having tons of false labor. The pregnancy have been rough....was ill for 6 months lost alot of weight ans have had alot of pain due to endometriosis and adenomyosis. It's been tough I won't lie...not the way I thought I'd be doing this. But have alot of family and friends that support me and I am soooo looking forward to meeting my baby girl. She is worth it all!!

 

[zoehiigli]

Im a single mom by choice too. He's 12 now and I cant believe how far Ive come. It wasnt easy but VERY worth it. He's an honor roll student and makes me so proud every day!

 

[KylasBaby]

I'm working on becoming a SMBC. I conceived using a known donor in January, but sadly had a MMC requiring surgery in March. I'm back at it again. Searching for a donor now. The previous donor became pretty unreliable so I don't want to use him again.

There is this group for Solo Mommies Any Solo Mums Out There

 

[dauchep]

I am a single momma by choice. I have severe endometriosis and adenomyosis. Been suffering for 10+ years...tons of surgeries. ..meds ...u name it. Was told if I wanted to have a child I had to now with help of course. So at 32...now 33...I did an iui with donor sperm...and the second one worked!!! I am 37 weeks tomorrow and really due at any time now...been having tons of false labor. The pregnancy have been rough....was ill for 6 months lost alot of weight ans have had alot of pain due to endometriosis and adenomyosis. It's been tough I won't lie...not the way I thought I'd be doing this. But have alot of family and friends that support me and I am soooo looking forward to meeting my baby girl. She is worth it all!!

congrats on your pregnancy. she will be lovely

 

[birdlee337]

I am a single momma by choice. I have severe endometriosis and adenomyosis. Been suffering for 10+ years...tons of surgeries. ..meds ...u name it. Was told if I wanted to have a child I had to now with help of course. So at 32...now 33...I did an iui with donor sperm...and the second one worked!!! I am 37 weeks tomorrow and really due at any time now...been having tons of false labor. The pregnancy have been rough....was ill for 6 months lost alot of weight ans have had alot of pain due to endometriosis and adenomyosis. It's been tough I won't lie...not the way I thought I'd be doing this. But have alot of family and friends that support me and I am soooo looking forward to meeting my baby girl. She is worth it all!!

congrats on your pregnancy. she will be lovely

Thanks!!! She is awesome! She's 4 months old already! And is growing like a weed!!!!! Love her sooooo much...idk what I'd do with out her! She is the love of my life!

 

[angiepie]

Not me...but your story is awesome! Go you!

 

[Rags]

Hi to all you ladies who were expecting or had just given birth the last time this post was updated. I was wondering how you are doing and how the planning for your first family Christmas is coming along?

 

[birdlee337]

Hi to all you ladies who were expecting or had just given birth the last time this post was updated. I was wondering how you are doing and how the planning for your first family Christmas is coming along?

Doing well! We had a great first Thanksgiving with all my family!! Lots of kiddos! Looking forward to her first Christmas! I have lots of goodies for her thanks to my mom's help! I am truly blessed with a beautiful miracle baby girl!!!! sometimes it's rough doing it all on my own...have my mom helping ALOT but still on my own. But I am glad I don't have to share her....I get to spend every day, holiday and birthdays with her!

 

[Rags]

Good for you Birdlee. It's so good to have a supportive family, especially in the early 'I think I'm going mad' years! Happy Thanksgiving all be I'm a day late.
I know that it can be difficult at times going it alone but I really do think we've got it much easier than other single parents always having to consider an absent partners opinion and needs. My friend is going through divorce at the moment with a daughter the same age as my son, it's so complicated for her already with the father having very different ideas of how to raise a child - I'm so happy not to have to go through any of that.
Enjoy the run up to Christmas and have a wonderful time.

 

[2kidsplusttc3]

I wasn't at first. but due to divorce and abuse. I am glad to be now. and I am ttc my 3rd without a man. just got a sperm donor. My two kids do not know their father. and he wasn't the greatest guy . so I feel better off. so in a way I am a single mom by choice now though I wasn't when I left my ex 5 years ago.