Single mommy by choice

Discussion in 'Trying To Conceive' started by ashliee, Nov 13, 2011.

  1. ashliee

    ashliee Well-Known Member

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    I have decided now is my time to begin my journey into motherhood!
    I am single and 20 years old, and couldnt be more excited!
    I will be using a donor, which im currently in the process of finding the perfect one! I will begin TTC in January and I cant wait!
    I am a little nervous about doing the insemination by myself, I dont want to screw up but im sure my nerves will settle with time!
    I have a blog that I write in daily and will continue for at least a year, and I also have a Youtube account to document my journey.
    I am happy.
     
  2. AriesMom07

    AriesMom07 Expecting # 2!

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    Awesome! I don't want you to take this the wrong way but can I ask why you want to be a single mom?
     
  3. mrsc81

    mrsc81 Mummy of 2

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    I dont want to sound rude but what has made you come to the conclusion of using a sperm donor at 20yrs old?
     
  4. CanadianMaple

    CanadianMaple Well-Known Member

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    I was a single mom for about 2 years, my longtime partner left when our son was 8 months old. It's really hard work, I hope you have a strong support system, I don't think I would ever choose that route again after my experience. Without my dad and stepmom, I don't know how I ever would have done it. I have a great job and own a house, but the actual exhaustion and not being able to hand J. over when we were both sick or I just needed a break was really hard.

    I don't know a lot about the donor thing, just make sure he can't come back and demand rights and access to your child.

    I'm assuming you have everything all set up and have thought this through though. Good luck!
     
  5. babykitten

    babykitten New Member

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    Im in the same boat as you, i want to be a single mum and im 19. Im actually trying to concieve now, my mate (ex boyfriend) is helping me to concieve the baby and will stay in the childs life but not as a father role more as a family friend role, however my noone else knows only me, the person helping me, and my doctor. I know my family will support me and help me if need it though... hope this helps, if you want to talk - email me :)

    Becca. xx
     
  6. Rachel789

    Rachel789 Well-Known Member

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    If this is what you girls want then go for it. I am just shocked to hear at the age of 19 and 20 you want to be single moms. I can understand when someone is in their 30s and still single and really wants a child but you have so much time to find a partner you love and share that experience together. But I am sure you have your reasons and have done the research and know what you are getting yourself into so good luck in your TTC journys!
     
  7. MrsBroodyPant

    MrsBroodyPant Well-Known Member

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    this sounds a littled rushed at the age of 20 and 19. I didn't meet my husband unti I was 21 and I didnt realise lovely men like him existed. My brother met his wife when he was 30 and she was 34!

    You do have plenty of time to settle down and start a family. What are your own experiences? Do you have both a mum and dad?

    My dad died when my mum was pregnant with me and I have always wished that I had both parents in my life, like my friends did. And it felt unfair because it wasn't my mums choice..........but in your case it is your choice. x
     
  8. bdawn8403

    bdawn8403 TTC After A Loss

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    I couldn't even believe there would be a doctor willing to do this, not the fact that you are single because many older women do this but because you are very young. You can't even get a IUD before a certain age if you haven't had kids, unless thats changed. Who CHOOSES to be a single parent? :wacko:

    That isn't very fair to your future baby or your family for that matter.

    Good luck.
     
  9. zoey1990

    zoey1990 Well-Known Member

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    I don't really think this is the perfect situation to bring a child into but who am i to judge? I am only 21 myself and i'm trying to conceive my 2nd child. I have been with my oh for 7 years and already have a child together. I have to admit girls... I wouldn't be able to do this without my lovely fiancee and my family around me. Being a single mother must be very difficult. I wish you luck in whatever path you chose :dust:
     
  10. milf2be

    milf2be Guest

    i really hope im not going to get shot down here, but this really shocked me. i got pregnant when i was 20, my lovely little accident, and had my little man when i was 21. having a baby is really hard work, the hardest job you will ever have to do by far (and the most rewarding!), i have no idea how i would have done it if i was by myself. tbh i dont think i would have managed and i certainly wouldnt be able to go back to uni and finish my degree.

    i know we all have different circumstances, but IMO, and i really hope this doesnt offend you, if you are trying for a baby at this age, especially alone, then you are looking for someone to love you.

    is there any reason you are having a baby now and by yourself, if you dont mind me asking?
     
  11. mixedbeautyx

    mixedbeautyx Well-Known Member

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    This is interesting ill be stalking to see if you girls reply back. I'm not the one to judge as ill be 21 next month an im ttc #1, but would never do it with my amazing OH! But good luck :)
     
  12. AriesMom07

    AriesMom07 Expecting # 2!

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    I got pregnant with my son at 19 with my fiance of 2 yrs and he left me. I ended up being a single mom at 20 and it was so hard...emotionally physically, everywhere. Also I grew up without a dad and went my whole life not knowing him. I finally found him earlier this year and he had died 2 months prior, I will never know him. So I kinda know how it is from both angles and I didn't like either one. Just something to consider hun. Babies seem like fun and all cute and cuddly but I don't think I could have ever prepared myself for the emotional rollercoaster pregnancy and motherhood brought about. GL in whatever you choose.
     
  13. Jo.t

    Jo.t expecting #7

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    Good luck ! I dont think 19 / 20 is too young - I had 2 at that age.

    There are benifits of being a single mum, it is hard work but very rewarding.
     
  14. bdawn8403

    bdawn8403 TTC After A Loss

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    I looked through some other posts of hers and it seems to me this is steming from her nephew. She looks to be very close to him and of course when spending time around a young child in your family you usually develop a want and need to have your own and not wanting to wait. I think maybe if she realizes how difficult it will be and that she can't hand this one off when she's tired and that it won't be fair to the baby she may reconsider. Hopefully.
     
  15. honey_bunch

    honey_bunch TTC #2

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    Like the other ladies who commented, I wonder how you came to this decision. I am by no means having a go at you, just curious really, what your thoughts are on children growing up without a father figure in their lives? Or how you would explain it all to them when they are older? I don't expect people to have the same opinions as me, but I like to know how they came to have them :)
    Good luck
    x
     
  16. Jen.Uh.Fur

    Jen.Uh.Fur Well-Known Member

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    I don't know the OP at all. But I do think that some of you could relay your opinion without being so rude.

    And I know I wouldn't appreciate being talked to like a child either.
     
  17. Helena_

    Helena_ Well-Known Member

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    100% agree with Jen
     
  18. milf2be

    milf2be Guest

    i had a quick look too and also read about starting college in march.... like i said finishing uni for me would have been pretty much impossible until Jake started school if i was by myself, i think if thats what you want to then a baby will have to wait?
     
  19. milf2be

    milf2be Guest

    i dont see anybody saying anything rude?
     
  20. Jen.Uh.Fur

    Jen.Uh.Fur Well-Known Member

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    I won't name names, but there are a couple people that are being beyond flat out rude.

    I can see giving your opinion, especially if you were a single mom. But do it nicely.
     

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