Sister made comment that has upset me.

Discussion in 'Baby Club' started by Georgia7, Oct 12, 2013.

  1. Georgia7

    Georgia7 Well-Known Member

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    I had my baby boy on the 4th of September. I was having mild pains all day on the Sunday, 1am on Monday morning my waters broke. I went into labour and delivery with the worst contractions in the world ( baby was back to back) my labour wasn't progressing and I was only half a cm dialated. I kept getting sent home because of this and I wasn't coping well at all. On all fours crying my eyes out because the pain was so bad and the contractions didn't have a space Inbetween! Long story short I had my baby on Wednesday afternoon at 1:15. Pushed for an hour and a half and baby would not come out. Rushed to theatre for an emergency section, baby was stuck behind my bladder. They tore my
    Bladder open by accident during the procedure and I lost ALOT of blood. Basically it couldn't have went any worse. I had to have a catheter in for 2 weeks and I've had a lot of complications since. I've been mourning the birth that I never got and slowly coming to terms with it. We all have this idea in our heads of what it would be like but I got the complete opposite and this was very hard to deal with.

    Anyways. Sitting with my sisters today we were all talking about it. My mam and dad have been so helpful with my recovery. Coming round and helping out any way they can. My sister then says to my
    Mam 'how come Georgia gets all this help, you didn't give us this much when we had our babies' to which my mam replied 'because she's been through alot' to which my sister said 'at least we actually pushed our babies out. She didn't'
    I don't know if I'm being too sensitive but it really got to me. By no stretch of the imagination do I think an emergency c section is an easy way out. Which is what I think she was getting at. It's really really annoyed me especially since I'm so upset I never got the natural birth I wanted.
    Sigh. Just needed to get this off my chest! Xxx
     
  2. sue_88

    sue_88 Well-Known Member

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    That's a pretty heartless thing to say. They can be proud they gave birth they way they did by all means but that is no reason to take away from your birth, or be derogatory.

    Safe baby, safe Mama. I would be hurt at that if I were in your situation, and perhaps I would say something to them.
     
  3. Imamomma

    Imamomma Well-Known Member

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    that's all i can say what was she thinking what a spoiled brat it sounds like you went through a lot. That was so good of you to hold your tongue and not give her a piece of your mind cause I would sure like to. Take it easy and enjoy your little one.
     
  4. meli1981

    meli1981 D, me, and our crazy 3!

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    That is a horrible thing to say! How dare she? You didnt have a choice, and your birth was so traumatic! Sisters can be a real pain.....and lets face it real bitches! :hugs:
     
  5. Julesillini8

    Julesillini8 2 Girls, baby #3 cookin

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    Well, that certainly was rude! I would be offended by the way she said that. However, she may just be jealous of the attention and help, resulting in such a spiteful comment. I hope she doesn't truly believe that you just " took an easy way out" as it certainly wasnt the case, and she must know that right?
     
  6. ktod

    ktod Well-Known Member

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    I think some people do not realise the seriousness of a c section or the seriousness of any operation for that matter. I blame medical dramas on TV, it all seems so easy when its not and the road to recovery is long.
     
  7. Noo

    Noo Mum to 2 boys xx

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    I'd have bitch slapped her
     
  8. CT125

    CT125 Mum and growing #2

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    That's a horrendous thing to say. I'd be furious and really hurt. I hope your mum will point out to her how offensive she was considering what youhave been through, perhaps when you aren't there
     
  9. NicholaP

    NicholaP Well-Known Member

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    What a cow!
     
  10. NoodleSnack

    NoodleSnack Well-Known Member

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    She's just jealous, I don't know about your family but mine say things to each other that may sound a bit off without bad intention, and because of that we would be having a heated 'discussion' about how that comment is entirely wrong, get all our feelings on the table and be fine the next day.

    You're entitled to be upset about her comment, but she's also entitled to some jealousy, she might have had a hard time with her baby and wanted the help you're getting now but she didn't. If it were me, I would tell her what a bitchy comment that is, explain to her your feelings and then tell her you're sorry she didn't get as much help, the newborn phase is hard whether one has a good or bad labor.

    I hope you're coming to term with the labour yourself, it sounds like you had a really bad time with it.
     
  11. AP

    AP Well-Known Member
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    My jaw is on the floor. Blimey you've been through an op and more! :shock: what a horrible thing for them to say.
     
  12. Larkspur

    Larkspur Well-Known Member

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    What a jerky comment to make. Surely she can't be so dim as to not understand that nobody chooses to have an emergency C-section and that she should be grateful she had an easier birth and recovery than you're having?!
     
  13. july2013

    july2013 Guest

    Me too!
     
  14. twobecome3

    twobecome3 One and one on the way

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    bitch comment! disregard



    :hugs:
     
  15. Indigo77

    Indigo77 Guest

    Me 3 :grr:

    Actually....

    My MIL made a similar comment.
    I simply replied that a CS is not exactly a walk in the park & left it at that.

    It's just not worth the emotional energy to give it any more consideration.

    She should be ashamed....I'm sorry...:hug:
     
  16. aliss

    aliss Well-Known Member

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    That's cruel :( My SIL got a lot more help b/c she had a section, of course she did, she had surgery and I didn't. Nasty!
     
  17. Here_we_go

    Here_we_go Mother of 2

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    :hug: Siblings are like that. My brother gets his meals cooked and clothes washed whenever he demands it (STILL does at over 30) but any rare time my mom helped me by washing a load of clothes for me (I had to wash my own clothes at 11 years old at the laundrymat, not brother though :grr: ), he'd complain about her doing it for me.

    I always told ladies who were expecting their first child to not focus so much on their birth plan because crap happens and plans go to heck sometimes. The main goal is getting a healthy newborn out of you and both of you going home! What happens is YOUR birth story and you shouldn't be depressed about it. Everyone's experience is different.

    I had a vaginal delivery with my son, my SIL had a c-section and she looked down on anyone who had a vaginal birth loudly proclaiming at least HER who-ha didn't get all stretched out like MINE did. (At a family get-together??!? Really?!?!)

    I didn't listen to her :nope: You shouldn't listen to them. Some people just like to stir a pot and see what comes of it.

    I had a c-section with my daughter (had to due to a medical condition I have now). They SUCK but at least now my SIL doesn't say that crap to me anymore.

    Sorry you had such a rough time of it. :flower:
     
  18. Eleanor ace

    Eleanor ace Well-Known Member

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    Wow that's so mean!! :hugs:
    It is very normal to "mourn" for the birth experience you don't get, especially when you had such a rough time! I haven't had a c-section but I can imagine that the recovery would be a heck of a lot harder than a straight forward vaginal delivery. Of course you need help and support.
    I can understand your sister might feel jealous that she didn't get as much help after having her LO but that's something for her to bring up with your mum, it's not your fault.
     
  19. LilyValley

    LilyValley Mum of 1, WTTC baby 2

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    Sorry you had such a crap time, it's very difficult to come to terms with a labour that was traumatic. I promise that you will start to be more accepting of it as time goes on, at first it does feel like mourning and it hurts when people talk about their 'perfect' labours. It hurts even more when people imply that you were in some way to blame or that you cheated because you had a c-section/intervention. In time you will start to feel proud of yourself: not only did you bring a beautiful baby into the world, you brought that baby into the world safely despite all of the complications and you nurtured that baby despite feeling horribly ill. This is the way I view my DS's birth and that was almost 11 months ago.

    Your sister sounds like a first class bitch: a very jealous and catty person who needs to grow up. Clearly, she feels that she needs more attention. Don't rise to it, I think a short word with her is a good idea but don't be emotional about it or she'll have more of a platform for drama.

    I hope you feel better soon.
     
  20. nzjade

    nzjade Mum to 1 baby and 1 angel

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    Sorry but what a heartless cow (not the words that first sprung to mind, had to tone down for the internet!)
     

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