Sleep hell :'(

[Princesskell]

It's survival at the moment I think! Plenty of time to get over bad habits later.
Sorry for the rough nights...how is everybody coping in the day?

 

[xxxLeoxxx]

I don't have any advice only sympathy. DS2 feeds at least every 2 hours in the night and doesn't even have that first longer stretch that everyone seems to talk about. We cosleep though so I don't properly wake up. I couldn't cope with the lack of sleep otherwise! X

 

[lauraemily17]

Just wondering how everyone else is right now?

Reuben still doesn't sleep. A good night is only 3 wake ups but it can be up to 7 wake ups. Hes back to taking forever to go back to sleep too. I've been up with him an hour so far, he's fed off both sides and is wide awake fighting being rocked back to sleep. I could scream out of overtures frustration. I've bought him downstairs & stuck him on his play mat where he's happily kicking about. Hoping he'll tire at some point. I've left him to it and hiding in the kitchen. Is it bad that I actually don't want to be near him right now? I've seen friends with babies who sleep this badly & haven't had a full nights sleep in years, that is no exaggeration. I don't think I can cope with even a few more months let alone a few more years.

I've been reading some books on helping babies sleep. Reuben is resistant to all the gentle techniques, one book actually does nothing more than preach at you on how it's actually totally normal for babies to wake so often and parents expectations are wrong. If my eldest hadn't have slept through the night from 12 weeks I might have agreed & been more accepting but I've seen the other side, I know babies can sleep through.

Right now I'm just surviving each day somehow, don't know how, until the time comes I'm comfortable to do some more intense controlled crying sleep training. i think the damage caused to an at breaking point Mummy will be far worse than hopefully what will be only a few nights of crying.

 

[Princesskell]

Sorry you are still going through it over there
I think controlled crying may be worth a shot?
We are not much better here. I have cut down to an enforced 2 feeds a night now so on a good night he wakes around 11 then 3 for feeding. But his wake ups are getting much longer and whearas he used to do a quick sleepy feed then straight back he's now feeding for ages and when I try to stop him he wakes and cries the 3am feed often ends with him wide awake and wanting to play. And then we are getting a 5am wake up for the day.
A bad night sees more wake ups still.
It's tough as when he wakes he doesn't want to be held, this just wakes him up more, it's actually best to ,leave him.
He is still rolling from front (sleeping position) to back and this wakes him and he can't go back.
He hasn't found himself a soother yet (thumb, fingers, blanket, teddy) and has no consistency regarding what comforts him...ie some nights his dream sheep white noise thing works and sometimes it makes him wider awake, some night patting his bottom helps and some nights it makes him crosser!!
Is Reuben still in your room? Is he having any solids yet?
We are about to move K when he hits 6m and have started solids, I'm hoping for a bit of improvement!
Stick in there but I completely get your nighttime frustration, everything seems so lonely. Does your partner help? Have you any other support? Xxx

 

[cjwn]

Hi PK I remember you from November Sparklers thread, your boy and my oldest have the same awesome name. My K was an absolutely horrendous sleeper until weaned and moved to his own room at 6 months, I hope yours is better!

In the last week we moved J our five month old out of our bed and into a cotbed in his brother's room. Lights off, door closed, no white noise, we mean business this time. We started giving pears and porridge at dinner time 6pm, then 4oz formula, then breastfeed at 8pm bedtime. He's gone from hourly waking to 2-3 night wakings. It was probably a fluke but last night he only got up at 10pm and 5am, then was up for the day at 8.15am. I've stopped feeding any more often than every 3 hours to help him get used to fewer bigger feeds, so it's daddy's job to settle him if he's not due a feed. It seems to be working for us anyway.

I hope you ladies get some respite soon. Sleep depravation is absolute hell.

 

[_jellybean_]

Hi. Dh and I just came out on the other side, but we have to sleep separately now, but it works, b/c both toddlers are finally sleeping through. I wish I had some good advice, but we had terrible sleepers!

Some things though that helped a tiny bit at some points on our three year sleep journey:

--checking the room's temperature
--white noise
--a humidifier if they were sick
--shush/pat to sleep
--rock to sleep
--ultra-dark room (blackout blinds)
--changing brands of night time diapers if they were leaking, or even if they weren't--just to see if it helped as we were desperate
--dreamfeeding (at one point, iirc, we gave a 10 p.m. bottle)

 

[Princesskell]

Hi cjwn!!

Thanks for the advice guys
I think it was around this time I started night weaning my eldest, think once K is in his own room I may have to get tough!

 

[cjwn]

I think we've cracked it. J was up at 4am for 15 minutes the night before last, and then last night he managed midnight to 6am, up for change and feed then back down until my toddler woke him at 8.45am. Now the only thing keeping me awake is my husband's snoring which I have to get used to again now that he's back in our bed.

 

[Princesskell]

I think we've cracked it. J was up at 4am for 15 minutes the night before last, and then last night he managed midnight to 6am, up for change and feed then back down until my toddler woke him at 8.45am. Now the only thing keeping me awake is my husband's snoring which I have to get used to again now that he's back in our bed.

Excellent!! send some of it our way!! Xxx

 

[lauraemily17]

We had 2 great nights, a wake up around 11 when we gave him a formula feed instead of breastfeed then he slept through to 5ish. We'd managed to get him taking 2 longer naps a day rather than the 3 30 minute ish naps.

Then he cut a tooth and caught a virus and guess what, he isn't sleeping again. His 3 30ish minute naps today were a huge battle. It's 12.30, I went to bed at 9 and have only slept for 45 minutes. He's also now refusing his bedtime bottle and a bottle dream feed so I can't even fill him up any better. He's already on 3 solid meals a day. Last night I had 4.5 hours broken sleep. I can't express how much I hate having a baby this incapable of sleeping (I do love him though!) I struggle to belive he's even related to us. DH, my eldest & myself are all sleepers, proper adore our beds, could sleep forever kind of sleepers. By my calculations Reuben only sleeps for 10 - 11 hours a day, that's less than my toddler does now!

 

[Princesskell]

Oh no...that's so rubbish after a glimmer of hope too.
It sucks when you get somewhere and teeth and viruses get in the way. We are having the same issues with allergies
Fingers crossed things improve again soon xxx

 

[lauraemily17]

So how's everyone doing sleep wise?

We turned a corner & Reuben is waking a lot less in the night, it would be great if his day didn't now start at 4.30am. I'm still stupidly tired & utterly fed up. Reuben currently averages about 11 hours sleep over a 24 hour period, the same as my toddler! It's nowhere near enough for a baby & the short sleep at night is driving me crazy. If im going to be up at 4.30 every day I'm going to have to start going to bed at 8! I hate doing that though as I need a few hours of peace & me time in the evening. DH & I are constantly ill as well, we get back to back viruses as we're so run down. (DH has work issues too where he's doing silly shifts with little notice)

It still astounds me that we've bred such an awful sleeper. DH & I are both sleep lovers & always have been, both slept well as babies as did my toddler. but Reuben seems to need so much less.

 

[Princesskell]

Glad it's improving....I hope it carries on and you and dh can start getting some better sleep and a run of good health.
I understand about the early night. I know I should go at 7.30 when K does and make the most of the big chunk he does, but after a full on day with baby and toddler I just want to get my tea tidy up and chill out with dh!

K is improving too. But he's constantly poorly and then any progress is ruined and we go back to lots of wake ups.

 

[Eleanor ace]

My DH and I are both lazy as sin, I can't wrap my head around the fact that we created babies who hate sleep . My DD is a lot older than your LO (she recently turned 2) but her sleep has started improving in the last few weeks. We stopped giving milk at night (she woke hourly and always wanted milk) and it was hard at first but now we've had a few nights where she's slept all the way trough 7-5 and even on bad nights she's usual only up 3 times. There is hope!

 

[calm]

So how's everyone doing sleep wise?

We turned a corner & Reuben is waking a lot less in the night, it would be great if his day didn't now start at 4.30am. I'm still stupidly tired & utterly fed up. Reuben currently averages about 11 hours sleep over a 24 hour period, the same as my toddler! It's nowhere near enough for a baby & the short sleep at night is driving me crazy. If im going to be up at 4.30 every day I'm going to have to start going to bed at 8! I hate doing that though as I need a few hours of peace & me time in the evening. DH & I are constantly ill as well, we get back to back viruses as we're so run down. (DH has work issues too where he's doing silly shifts with little notice)

It still astounds me that we've bred such an awful sleeper. DH & I are both sleep lovers & always have been, both slept well as babies as did my toddler. but Reuben seems to need so much less.

I do feel for you as you say both you and DH like your sleep, you are like me then, I love my sleep and when my twins were keeping us up all night it drove me insane, I felt so down and tired! I have no tips, I think I just struck lucky with mine as they settled into a night routine, but things can always turn! I understand what you mean too about needing some evening time, really hope it continues to improve X

 

[honey915]

Oh my gosh pleeeeease tell me this improves I am so at the end of my rag right now everything seems so bleak!!! I hate this!!! My Toddler wakes her from naps and she just won't nap!! I've heard they need three naps a day at least And an earlier bedtime? but she will.not.nap1 helllllllllp!

 

[Gym knickers]

Can I join in?! My LO has gone from being an amazing sleeper to totally horrendous. She's waking 3/4 times a night for hours at a time and all my old tricks are no longer working. I have started bringing her in with me and giving her free rein of the boob all night but she still wakes frequently wanting to play. My toddler is currently going through an awful patch of being totally hyper/temper tantrums/ talking and shouting loudly all the time and LO is having 0 daytime naps unless she's held or in the car. It's so hard when Dd needs the toilet but LO is sleeping on me. I feel like I've gone from being so happy and coping really well to being an absolute mess. I keep losing my temper and all dh hears is me moaning constantly. He does try to help but as we're ebf and I'm off on mat leave I do 99% of the childcare. I feel like I should be managing better than this but sleep deprivation is a killer. Hope it gets better soon as I'm sooooo run down!!

 

[cjwn]

We've gone from sleeping like shit to sleeping relatively well at night. The big one is 2y 5m and he does 11 or 12 hours a night without fail. The little one is six months old today and he's gone from waking 4 or 5 times a night to sleeping through most nights. The biggest change we made with him was putting him in his cot in his room instead of co-sleeping, and moving from just breastfeeding to giving him a bottle of formula before bed (plus we just started weaning). Consistent daytime sleep is pretty much non-existent though.

 

[Princesskell]

Sorry for all the rubbish sleep still going round...hugs to all this will not (cannot!!) be forever.

We got better for a bit and then K got ill and now we are back to too many wake ups, too many feeds and too much night time playtime ugh...feel like I'm wading through a swamp each day and I too am guilty of snapping too much at my toddler and dh when really it's just because I'm so tired.
K is now in his own room and being weaned but neither have helped at all yet

 

[lauraemily17]

Sorry you ladies are also going through it. It feels like torture at times and so hard with an older child to look after too.

I saw a glimmer of hope with Reuben, then he started waking for the day at 4am, then went back to waking every couple of hours. Right now he has a cold & is teething & since last night won't sleep anywhere other than on me, if he sleeps at all. It's 10pm & I still haven't managed to get him down in his cot. Last night he spent most of the night in our bed but woke up crying pretty much hourly.

You know when you think it couldn't get any worse then it does spectacularly!