Slipping into a state of depression

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Second Trimester' started by Neecee, Oct 20, 2008.

  1. Neecee

    Neecee Guest

    I'm not usually prone to depression - occasional misery, yes, but never been depressed.

    I don't feel like I own my body anymore and what with all the aches and pains I'm getting already, it's starting to get to me. Even typing out the way I feel is making me cry. The past few nights I've had to sleep on the sofa coz it's the only place I can get the right support for my back and legs and I really miss cuddling up to my hubby :cry:

    I feel so helpless right now and it's just going to get worse. My hubby has to help me get dressed and undressed, he helps me on and off the toilet, (which at first felt a bit humiliating but I've had to let go of my pride now) and I can't even pick anything up off the floor if I drop something. I daren't try get in or out of the bath or shower unless he's around incase I slip and crack my head open or hurt the baby. I just feel so dependant on him and I'm usually such an independant person - it feels like everything's beyond my ability right now.

    And then I just feel worse when I think of all the ladies on here who are having 'real' problems - medical issues that are endangering themselves or their babies. I've had no serious medical issues at all and I just feel like I have no right to be feeling sorry for myself when there are others worse off than myself.

    Sorry for the whinge, I'm usually quite a cheerful girl, but I just needed to get this off my chest coz I know if I try speaking to anyone, I'll probably just start crying again and it's easier to get things out online rather than through snot and tears.
     
  2. nataliecn

    nataliecn Mommy to Grady and WTT!

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  3. happy&healthy

    happy&healthy Ada's Mom

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    So sorry hun. It does sound very difficult! Hugs. Hormones mixed with pain mixed with everything about your life changing, well, it can make for some difficult days.
     
  4. brownhairedmom

    brownhairedmom Well-Known Member

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    I've been dealing with depression my entire pregnancy so I know how you feel. I'm incredibly uncomfortable as well and in general just not enjoying my pregnancy. The only thing I can say to make you feel better is that eventually the medical part of being pregnant will be over and that we'll have our babies and our bodies back in our control.

    Also, know that its okay to feel this way. Not only are you uncomfortable and in pain, you're also incredibly hormonal. I would mention to your doctor that you are having a hard time emotionally just so that he/she is aware of the situation.
     
  5. katieandbump

    katieandbump Well-Known Member

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    I get a bit like this somedays, you think where's my body gone, not just the visual aspect but the feel of it too, i get fed up with constant back ache, and it seems like you can never win. My back will be aching so i'll move position and then that position is a no go cos it will make baby kick or make me have painful windy sharp pain in my belly so its hmm back pain or belly pain lol. Don't feel bad for needing a bit of help its totally normal. I'm the same boyf has to literally pick me up off the sofa and support/walk with me every time i need a pee cos when i've been lying/sitting for a while my back gives up and i stand up and crumble or get a shooting pain down my leg.
    I know its horrible and so hard but just think it is worth it in the end and every week we get closer and closer to it being all over. It's good to rant don't keep it bottled up pregnancy is such a stressful time.
    I hope you feel better soon. xxx
     
  6. kateqpr

    kateqpr Well-Known Member

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    Oh honey. I know exactly how you feel. I posted earlier today because i was feeling so down and depressed. Had a little cry too, but hate telling my husband how i feel because he's having to deal with so much too.

    In the short term - i'm watching a happy film on Sky Movies, to try to shift my mood. I've called someone in my family, to at least chat with someone rather than just lie here on the sofa feeling sorry for myself. Maybe just give a friend or family a call. It can help to change your mood.

    I so know how you feel - sciatic pain is the worst. I was only in bed for about 4 days with it, but was very teary because i felt so helpless, and like you i'm normally so independent, earning a good wage, having important meetings...and now suddenly i feel like a fat, unemployed, highly dependent housewife!!! So not who i normally am. But these things are all temporary - very soon you'll be better, which is important to remember. AND remember that marriage is a constant change of dynamics, and at some point in your life your hubby will be relying on you for things, if ever he's ill, loses his job. I've had ah hard time adjusting to this, and still struggle - but you're not alone and things will get better.

    Have a good cry and call someone who cheers you up XXXXXX
     
  7. Dizzy321

    Dizzy321 very proud mammy to 3!

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    Oh hun i know exactally how u feel!! its not nice at all! i have been feeling really depressed recently and i have been getting really upset today, i feel like utter crap! i dont work had 2 give up my job as a dental nurse in april, so this pregnancy is dragging soooooooooooooo much!! i find it very very hard to fill my days and have been suffering real bad from headaches and tiredness and SPD which is very painfull also! cant even put my knickers on without a real fight!!:(
    my OH works in London sunday night till friday night, i cry each and every week when he has to go back and i absolutally HATE going to bed on my own and when i feel down i have no one to tell or cuddle to reassure me and make me feel better, i miss him soo bad, getting upset just typing this myself :( i have only 1 close friend but she works and we lead very different lives now, and i dont talk to my mother or father or any family member! the only person i have works away.i feel totally alone icolated and down.
    sorry for that but i needed to get it out myself lol ......hope you feel better soon hun your not alone x
     
  8. beancounter

    beancounter Well-Known Member

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    aw, it sounds terrible for you. Is there anything that you can do to make you feel like your can gain a bit of control? I absolutely refused to get pregnant till my OH bought me a new mattress. It's marvellous, did wonders for my hips. I'm sure that when you see the physio they wil be able to give you exercises and advice on your posture to help your hips. Try to take each day as it comes, just because your sore now doesn't mean you'll be sore forever or affect your birthplan :hugs:

    your OH soundslovely, he does :D
     
  9. danni2609

    danni2609 Guest

    :hugs: Hope u feel better soon hun!! Must be awful for u glad ur hubbys so good though!xx
     
  10. AnnaBanana9

    AnnaBanana9 Mummy

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    Oh hun :hug: I'm so sorry you're feeling down. I sometimes find myself feeling down too for many of the same reasons, but I often find that a treat (my current weakness is Haagen-Daaz strawberry ice cream) and a funny movie helps.

    Just wanted to add my voice to those thinking of you and sending you :hugs:
     
  11. Shinning_Star

    Shinning_Star WTT for a possible no4???

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    hey neecee,

    I dn't know if I've missed it, but have you been to docs, cos pain does sound like spd! Esp if having trouble moving around and getting dressed! I'm sorry if I have missed it and you've had diagnosis, but if you have or haven't pop along to docs to get some more advie and maybe some physio, I don't know how much it helps.

    Although I don't have severe pain, I do get down when my nausea and headaches kick in badly, it's so awful and eating for me is a nightkmare too, I get hungry but can't eat anything I fancy! I know it's not as bad, but I can sympathise.

    Just know your entitled to feel a bit sad, and just in need of support. Sometimes pregnancy can suck! (I feel awful saying that cos I know so mnay people try so hard etc. but surely we're aloud a little bit of self pity.)

    Doesn't stop us loving ou growing babies. And despite it all, we wldn't change it, just wish it to go faster and get easier!
     
  12. wanababy

    wanababy Me, OH & bubs No.1

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    Aww neecee, am sorry to hear that but you're definately not alone hun! I've just been reading through this thread and don't feel so alone myself lol!!

    I have suffered from depression for years and was weaning myself off my anti-d's before I fell pg but have since had to continue (My midwife assures me they are fine as the type I am on are the ones they tend to prescribe pg women), it doesn't make me feel less guilty but I just was not coping at all.

    As for the aches and pains, I have had 2 ops on my hip and the PAINS - OMG - OWW!! Especially as I usually take diclofenac & codiene like they're smarties for the pain and now I can only have the odd paracetamol! Plus my backache is so sore and my 'non bad hip' has started aching - I'm ready for the skip I think lol!!

    Anyway, I hope you feel better soon and it does help to get it off your chest!

    Sending you big :hugs: and everyone else who needs one!!x

    Liz
    xx
     
  13. pennysbored

    pennysbored Well-Known Member

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    Its sucks feeling helpless. You know, this whole thread seems helpful to many of people, myself included. Its nice to hear that the feelings of isolation and, well, depression are alot more common than most think. I know I have really bad weeks, I'll cry several times a day about how it seems like everything has gone down hill. And then I start to worry about postpartum depression, and my ability to care for LO, and then I get all worked up about that....
    You aren't alone and I'm sorry you are feeling this way. :hugs:
     
  14. Rame

    Rame Mom to Alexa, preggy w #2

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    I'm sorry to hear you're not feeling great at the moment. I still have those moments even though most of my 1st trimester symptoms have gone (just replaced by new ones!).

    Just know that these feelings are normal, and that in most cases, I think pregnant women tend to be in a roller coaster ride of emotions because of hormones, symptoms, changes both inside and outside the body, etc.

    When you hit the lows, maybe you just do something that can make you excited, either related to pregnancy (shop for nursery stuff) or not (engage in an activity you enjoy). Or do something calming like listening to soothing music, or pamper yourself with a massage, pedicure or what have you. Just take each day as it comes and before you know it, you'll be holding your precious LO in your arms. :hug:
     
  15. pinkmac85

    pinkmac85 Mom & pregnant with #2

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    I think we all have our days of feeling like this. I know I am today with all the pains and cramping feeling!
    Sending hugs and hope you feel better soon!!!
     
  16. Jus

    Jus New mum!

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    Dear Neecee

    So sorry to hear you're not feeling so good. I'm not having major aches and pains like so many poor ladies, but whenever I get a twinge and feel like a little old lady shuffling from off to the loo (countless times a day) I just try to remind myself that it's not permanent - there is light at the end of the tunnel!

    Also, have you looked at the thread on here of awful photos that people have posted? I was looking at them the other day and crying with laughter - reckon it's got to cheer anyone up, if only for a little while!

    :hug:
     
  17. Neecee

    Neecee Guest

    I might have to look that thread up!

    Thanks ladies.:hugs: I'm feeling a little better today - I actually managed to get a fairly decent nights sleep last night, so I think that's helped a bit.
     
  18. Meels-Spot

    Meels-Spot Well-Known Member

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    Hi Neecee

    Glad to hear you are feeling a bit better today! I am due the same day as you and I can totally sympathise as I too feel like crap all of the time, if it's not one thing, it's another and I am so fed up with it. At the moment I am suffering very badly with pregnancy enhanced asthma and spend all day puffing on inhalers! I can't remember the last day I felt 'well', it's horrendous.

    Are you suffering with back pain etc? If so, I have been seeing a McTimoney chiropractor since I got really bad back ache at around 10 weeks preg and she has worked wonders with my back and pelvis aches and pains, so I would highly recommend seeing one if you can. At the moment I go every 4 weeks, as I start seizing up again about 3-4 weeks after each treatment. The McTimoney method is very gentle, no horrible spine crunching involved like you imagine when you hear the word chiropractor! In fact I find it very relaxing and leave on a bit of a cloud!

    Anyway hope things improve for you, only a few more days and we will both be into the third trimester, I can't believe it!
     
  19. beancounter

    beancounter Well-Known Member

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    I hope that's not referring to the *lovely* photo of my avocado bathroom I posted on the bumps thread jus :rofl:

    Glad to hear you got some sleep neecee, sleep works wonders :hugs: my sister swore by her chiropractor too.
     
  20. Jus

    Jus New mum!

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    It's under You and Your Family: Photo Gallery: Sticky Thread worst pics

    I challenge you not to cry with laughter!:rofl:
     

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