So angry at my father

[TwilightAgain]

I feel like he has no concept of hope and faith and is just so negative. Basically this week has been rough and my uni have screwed me over big time in my masters to the point where I have to return in September next year thanks to their incompetency. I'm devastated to be pushing back things like a house, baby, wedding etc by another year. It really does make me sad but my OH and I are trying to focus on the positives. I live with my OH 3 hours away from my family but we still keep in contact a lot.

I was honest when my Dad asked whether I was still on my uni placement and said no and explained the reason one (it really was the fault of the uni) and he proceeded to say oh just forget about uni now, you need to get a job, i'm so angry etc etc. So I responded by saying, don't you think i'm angry? I want to settle down, have a family, get a job etc. His response? "I don't think that'll happen now darl". What the helll? Seriously. He says well Chris is getting on now, you'll finish your degree and go straight onto maternity leave. There's no point. So I said well 35 isn't too old to have children. He just mumbled something I can't remember but this angers me so much.

I'm 23, my OH is 29. We'll be 25 and 31 when I finish this degree. I can't believe he's already given up hope that i'll ever have a family and even when we do, I feel like he'll judge us because 35 (my partner will be by the time we sort other stuff) in his opinion is too old for babies. I agree that in an ideal world we would be younger but sometimes life gets in the way. So frustrating to think that we probably won't have his support I feel like i'm being scolded like a child for trying to be positive despite the bad stuff that's happened. There are no words, since when is it good advice to tell your kids to quit?

 

[bornthiswayxo]

35 isn't too old for either parent to be!
My parents seem more keen for me to be 35 than 25 for my years of having kids! But as I have Asperger Syndrome and other things I can understand my parents' over-protective tendancies.

It's completely up to you and your OH when you guys have children IMO. It sounds like you've both been sensible about it so far...

 

[butterbaby]

I'm so sorry to hear that your plans have been pushed back, that must hurt. I'm more sorry to hear that your dad was so insensitive about it all as well. I'm guessing he is probably looking forward to grandchildren and is disappointed he has to wait longer? Unfortunately he kind of made this situation about himself instead of supporting you when you need it. He should be proud of you for wanting to complete what you've started before beginning the next chapter of life, and he probably is but just isn't focusing on that right now. I always felt it was important to have some sort of career lined up before having children. For me I think it would be great to be a stay at home mom but you never know what life is going to hand you and I want to be sure I have a good job if I need one. Unfortunately parents aren't always right so stick to what you know is best for you and your future.

 

[apreslaube]

What the what?? You're 23. As in, really young. Your husband is NOT too old to have a child. Besides, his age doesn't really equate to much in terms of age to safely conceive. I'm sorry

 

[skycastles]

I think it's great you're finishing up what you need to before TTC!
Sorry to hear your plans were delayed but both of you have plenty of time left