So annoyed and upset :(

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - First Trimester' started by charlotte88, Jan 23, 2011.

  1. charlotte88

    charlotte88 Guest

    Yesterday i was talking with my mum and saying that i was wondering how long it would take for some people to find out i was pregnant now that i had told my room senior at work i was pregnant (i had to tell her because we have pet rabbits at work and pregnant woman cant clean out the cage because of something in the urine), because her and another girl are known for buying little gossips.

    Well anyway at about 8pm last night i got a text message saying "When was you going to tell me your good news" from a girl i used to work with.

    Im not upset that she knows but i am upset that my room senior has been telling people, i text her just saying i'd like it if she didn't carry on telling people as its not her place to tell anyone. I wasn't rude or unreasonable (i dont think) but i got a tirade of abuse saying how i think the dogs bollocks and its not all about me that she told her and to get over myself.

    Its really upset me now because she has basically ruined im it for me being able to tell people when I was ready and my boyfriend where ready.

    She is such an interfering cow and this isn't the first time she has butted into my business and made it knowledge to people who don't need to know.
    Do you guys think i should tell my manager about her continuously bringing my personal business outside of work?

    Sorry for the rant :(
     
  2. eandc123

    eandc123 Well-Known Member

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    This is breach of confidentiality. You told her because you wanted a reasonable adjustment making. I would speak to your manager or she will carry on like this and do it to someone else. As for the abusive text messages, i would keep it and show it to your manager explaining that you requested she not tell anyone else and she replied with that. It's not her place to tell anyone if you haven't given her permission.
     
  3. charlotte88

    charlotte88 Guest

    im just so frustrated, we used to be really good friends but since she got promoted she has become so power hungry and she can be really spiteful too.
    She made the comment "are you keeping it" when i told her i was having a baby and then makes stupid comments like "Your only 22 your not mature enough" (she is 20 sooooo mature hmmm) and "You really wont suit having a baby" I actually didnt realise they were now a fashion accessorie.

    Its really starting to get to me and i know if she continues like this it will make it so difficult for me to carry on working with her.

    I just want to SCREEEEEEEEEEEEAM!!

    I think your right about telling my manager though,

    thank you
    xx
     
  4. eandc123

    eandc123 Well-Known Member

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    No problem :) It may feel difficult if you use to be friends but you've got to put yourself and your new baby first. Youknow you shouldn't have to put up with any extra stress so don't allow it.

    Good luck x
     
  5. SullenGrl

    SullenGrl Well-Known Member

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    I think you should definitely tell your manager. She breeched your trust and things like this should never be taken lightly. Most women don't let the general public know until after the 1st trimester. If you wanted anyone to know before then or before it became apparent is up to you. She sounds like a right cow!
     
  6. Groovychick

    Groovychick Well-Known Member

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    I definitely think it is something you should speak to your manager about.
     
  7. Cocoa

    Cocoa Well-Known Member

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    I think as someone said show your room senior the text and say she breached confidentiality. I had a manager like that who was good friends with a colleague, if you told the manager anything the colleague would find out.

    Im interested in the rabbit thing tho.. I have 2 rabbits and as a side business i look after peoples pets when they're on hol. So im constantly cleaning them out. Where did you read that? Ive only heard about cats litter trays, so thats worried me.
     
  8. MrsHedgehog

    MrsHedgehog Well-Known Member

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    You definitely need to speak to your manager, or if she's not someone you can trust either then you should go higher up. Like others have said this is a breach of confidentiality. It also sounds like she has been bullying you a bit. You shouldn't have to put up with this in the workplace and she definitely needs to be put in her place. Please speak to someone about it - you and your baby don't need the stress.
     
  9. charlotte88

    charlotte88 Guest

    Luckily i get on really well with my manager so will be able to talk to her about it, I spoke to my bestfriend last night who i also work with and she said this wasnt fair. She also said i should deff show my manager the texts because she was out of line for what she said.

    Thanks for the advice girls :)
     
  10. charlotte88

    charlotte88 Guest

    My manager looked online for info about it because she wasnt sure either, apparently it is something in the urine which can be harmful, although it did say if you wear gloves, apron and a mask covering your mouth and nose then your not at harm making sure you clean thoroughly afterwards :).

    xxx
     
  11. lov3hat3

    lov3hat3 Mummy to lil J, Preggo #2

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    i clean my rabbit out every week :| i didnt know you wernt ment to!
    what a cow, like others said you should tell your manager x
     
  12. tjw

    tjw Mum to Ruby and Preggers

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    Sounds me like not just a breach of confidentiality (which would also mean she is in breach of her contract) but also an abuse of her position as she is victimising you because of your pregnancy, which is illegal. Her innapropriate behaviour at the very least demands some form of discipline from the company you work for and could well see her suspended or demoted if it continues past her disciplinary.
     
  13. charlotte88

    charlotte88 Guest

    When i confronted her about it she said it was an accident but then got deffensive with all the abuse.
    She didnt even apologise if it was an accident. Its as if she thinks she has the right to tell people, i have a feeling she has told other people too due to comments another girl has made to me but not directly said "Are you pregnant"
    She is already on her 2nd disciplinary at work so im actually surprised she isnt being more careful about what she does and says because she could end up in alot of trouble.

    xx
     
  14. JD'2

    JD'2 mummy and 2nd on the way

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    i agree with the other ladies. it could be classed as bullying in the workplace. and loke most have said its a breach of confidentiality. not sure where you live but in uk i think thats a breach of contract and could be against the law along with ringing when you phone in sick and stuff like that. ( don't quote me on that) lol. i would defo go to your manager and if she doesn't do anything then take it further. Its the managers responsiblity to do something. hope you get it sorted.
     
  15. CharlieKeys

    CharlieKeys Well-Known Member

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    You're not mAture enough?? That's a ridiculous thing to say! I'm only 22 as well and everyone has said what an amazing mum I am to my son! And if anything will make you "grow up" it's pregnancy and having a child! Don't listen to her on that - your baby and having a happy pregnancy should be your main priority now - so just ignore her and remember you have something special inside of you & it's probably jealousy on her part!
     
  16. charlotte88

    charlotte88 Guest

    i actually had to laugh when she said it though, since her promotion 5 months ago she seems to think she is such the mature person. She is 2 years younger then me (not that i have anything against that) but she makes me feel like the younger one. Her other comment of "You wont suit having a baby" made me laugh too, that is such a stupid comment to make. You dont get a new baby to match each outfit. Jeeeeeze.

    I know she is so low on my priority list and my baby and my own health are foremost important its just so frustrating

    x
     
  17. CharlieKeys

    CharlieKeys Well-Known Member

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    Ha ha! Who suits having a baby or not? Oh dear her comments are so pathetic if not slightly funny! Are you not tempted to just give her a slap and ask her what's so amazing about her life? Plus you've got one over her - a baby is so much more fulfilling than a job promotion! It seems to me she's the immature one! :)
     
  18. charlotte88

    charlotte88 Guest

    couldnt agree more.
    The thing is i know she is insecure in herself and is mean to make herself feel better.
    2 months ago she had a nose job and it doesnt look any different and she has become more mean since then because she is so insecure, she carries a picture around of her old knows to try and convince herself it looks different.

    It is really immature the things she does. and your right i do have the best thing anyone could ask for :) And in august i will be able to walk out of that place for a year and not have to worry about anyone but my baby :).
    And with any luck when i go back shell be gone ;) lol

    xx
     
  19. m0mmyCool

    m0mmyCool Me, OH, and our 2 boys.

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    Not mature enough? And saying a baby wouldn't suit you? I can tell by those 2 comments that she is a jealous cow. I would definitely tell the manager about her. She is so pathetic.
     
  20. oboeverity

    oboeverity Mummy to Ted and Willem

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    Some people can be so insenstitve and rude.... and I'm sorry you're upset; I would be too. I would definitely bring that up as a breach of confidentiality. I've told our school nurse for H+S reasons, but I would be FURIOUS if she let slip.

    Also, I've kept rabbits all my life, and I'm sure there's no danger to you; I even googled it. But you certainly shouldn't be bending and lifting anyway.
    xxx
     

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