Monkey monkey
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I think you actually fail to understand what 'open minded' actually means Heather.......
SO broody, should I try and have a baby?
- Thread starter gingerbeer.
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Monkey monkey
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Look, without meaning to be rude, I really think you should go away as your thoughts and view are not at all polite nor courteous to the other lovely ladies on this board.
Considering this board is ttc and your pretty well up the duff I'm unsure as to why you are here anyway??
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gingerbeer.
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I apologise for starting this!
Thank you everyone for your help, I have a lot to think about and consider for myself but its lovely to know there are always people there to talk to!
Thank you everyone for your help, I have a lot to think about and consider for myself but its lovely to know there are always people there to talk to!
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You don't need to be apologising
After TTC for almost 2 years and being the same age as you please feel free to PM me with any questions - good luck in whatever you decide!
emalou90
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Don't be scared off BnB. It sometimes gets heated for silly comments made.
Hope the comments before gave you something to work from.
We are all supportive of any choices you decide to make x
gingerbeer.
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aha I'm not scared, its nice to have opinions shown!
They really have, I have a lot to think about!
Thank you very very much!
They really have, I have a lot to think about!
Thank you very very much!
Monkey monkey
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Good luck within whatever decision you choose to make gingerbeer
kitty1987
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I would spend some more time just you and OH. Having holidays, going to gigs, sitting peacefully having a meal lol.
I wouldn't wish my little boy away but he was a surprise and we wouldn't have planned a baby at that exact time. We struggle now to get time alone and have only ever had one child free holiday which was our honeymoon.
If you know he is the one, maybe you could wait a few years and have lots of fun as a couple in the meantime x
I wouldn't wish my little boy away but he was a surprise and we wouldn't have planned a baby at that exact time. We struggle now to get time alone and have only ever had one child free holiday which was our honeymoon.
If you know he is the one, maybe you could wait a few years and have lots of fun as a couple in the meantime x
ProfWife
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Wow...ladies...this is getting way out of hand. Perhaps if everyone just thinks before they post, it would be good. Some of the reactions being quoted and tossed around by all would likely not be said had each person not felt they were being slammed or belittled.
Tolerance does not mean everyone's opinion is treated as correct. It does mean that everyone is still allowed to hold their opinion. To believe that tolerance means we're all correct is actually not tolerance. Tolerance implies that there is a clash or butting of heads, but that each person allows the other to their own opinion, no matter how wrong they feel the other person is.
To also clarify, a person who does hold to the Bible as authority is still well within proper etiquette to "judge" an act as not moral or appropriate. A lot of people toss the "judge not, lest ye be judged" out as the fact that God is the only one who can say right/wrong. That's theologically incorrect. The Scripture actually gives every indication that it is proper for things to be pointed out as improper, sinful, etc., but it indicates that the same way we measure others, we are also measured. (Ex. I should tell someone it's sinful to lie then turn around and lie.) Those words were because hypocrites hurt the cause of Christ - which is love and redemption.
BTW - Christians cannot and should not expect non-Christians to act and behave like Christians. It isn't fair. It's like expecting someone new to a country to be fluent within hours of landing.
At any rate, before we all jump all over each other and get off track, let's remember the original reason for this post. This young woman was seeking input as to whether she should have a baby young with her boyfriend. She's young and looking for an outlet. Let's not hijack her thread any more.
Tolerance does not mean everyone's opinion is treated as correct. It does mean that everyone is still allowed to hold their opinion. To believe that tolerance means we're all correct is actually not tolerance. Tolerance implies that there is a clash or butting of heads, but that each person allows the other to their own opinion, no matter how wrong they feel the other person is.
To also clarify, a person who does hold to the Bible as authority is still well within proper etiquette to "judge" an act as not moral or appropriate. A lot of people toss the "judge not, lest ye be judged" out as the fact that God is the only one who can say right/wrong. That's theologically incorrect. The Scripture actually gives every indication that it is proper for things to be pointed out as improper, sinful, etc., but it indicates that the same way we measure others, we are also measured. (Ex. I should tell someone it's sinful to lie then turn around and lie.) Those words were because hypocrites hurt the cause of Christ - which is love and redemption.
BTW - Christians cannot and should not expect non-Christians to act and behave like Christians. It isn't fair. It's like expecting someone new to a country to be fluent within hours of landing.
At any rate, before we all jump all over each other and get off track, let's remember the original reason for this post. This young woman was seeking input as to whether she should have a baby young with her boyfriend. She's young and looking for an outlet. Let's not hijack her thread any more.
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Gingerbeer, I had my LO when I was 21, just a little bit older than you. She was unplanned (but a lovely surprise 
). At 21, I was also considered a young Mum and Ill admit being a Mum is alot harder than I thought. Having this little human being you have to put before you or anyone else is very overwhelming at first. All of our money goes on making sure she has the best of everything (along with paying bills, rent etc), OH works long hours to support us, we go on a date night once every 6 months (valentines and anniversary), but ask me if I would change anything and I wouldnt! To me if a person can fully emotionally and financially support a child and as long as that child is cared for and feels loved, that baby couldnt care less how old you are or if you and their Dad are married.
Not one of us on here can judge what is best for you as we all have our own opinions on what is an ideal family. Not one of us are right or wrong. We all just try and do what we think is best for our own family. I would have a serious talk with OH and talk about the pros and cons of starting a family and decide together. Good Luck
). At 21, I was also considered a young Mum and Ill admit being a Mum is alot harder than I thought. Having this little human being you have to put before you or anyone else is very overwhelming at first. All of our money goes on making sure she has the best of everything (along with paying bills, rent etc), OH works long hours to support us, we go on a date night once every 6 months (valentines and anniversary), but ask me if I would change anything and I wouldnt! To me if a person can fully emotionally and financially support a child and as long as that child is cared for and feels loved, that baby couldnt care less how old you are or if you and their Dad are married. Not one of us on here can judge what is best for you as we all have our own opinions on what is an ideal family. Not one of us are right or wrong. We all just try and do what we think is best for our own family. I would have a serious talk with OH and talk about the pros and cons of starting a family and decide together. Good Luck
gingerbeer.
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thank for very much!
and thank you everyone for all your opinions, its helpful to know people's experiences
and thank you everyone for all your opinions, its helpful to know people's experiences
Eternal
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Gingerbeer - consider all the pros and cons carefully and baby isn't something you can take back, and it's really tough, it's the hardest things I've ever done, and I spend time crying, worrying and agonising over things because I'm a mum ... However when the time is rights despite everything it's amazing, the smell of your own baby, celebrating their acheviments, waiting them grow into their own individual people is so amazing.
I just had a friend come to stay who wasn't coping with her children and its so hard because they are there and they are HER resoonsbility, parenting is hard and you have to be strong, they don't stay babies for long and that's when the challenges begin. But again as I said it still the most amazing journey ever, just make sure your ready because its something wonderful.
I just had a friend come to stay who wasn't coping with her children and its so hard because they are there and they are HER resoonsbility, parenting is hard and you have to be strong, they don't stay babies for long and that's when the challenges begin. But again as I said it still the most amazing journey ever, just make sure your ready because its something wonderful.
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Reminder of the rules ladies before further action is taken:
Antisocial, discriminatory or offensive messages (intended or otherwise) aimed at the community at large, certain demographics (including parenting styles) or specific members, are not permitted.
Antisocial, discriminatory or offensive messages (intended or otherwise) aimed at the community at large, certain demographics (including parenting styles) or specific members, are not permitted.
FarmersWife5
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So I know there have been TONS of thoughts & experiences on this thread. Im just going to throw mine out there. In the end OP it is what you & OH want to do..
This is coming from a younger person like myself..
DH & I started dating when I was 18 years old.. We fell very much in love.. And back then I probably would of said I was ready for a baby.. However we wanted to be more prepared and take each step at a time.. Once I turned 19 we then moved in together. Enjoyed living together and learning about one another. We both new we wanted kids but agreed that owning our own home and getting married were a MUST before having children... I have seen way way way too many of my friends fall in love early on in a relationship and being young and having children, then to find out oh we do not own a home and we are not married, now we do not get along etc..
I am by no means saying that would be you.. DH & I got engaged when I turned 20.. planned our wedding for 15 months & got married, and then bought our home. I will now be 22 next month and DH will be 24 in feb. We have been TTC for 5 cycles now..
And honestly when we first started dating and when we were a few years younger, we wanted kids.. However I am much much much more happier TTC now knowing we are 100% committed to one another in marriage, and we have a home we own for our baby. Im just a big advocate at taking one step at a time.
But.. whatever you do OP do what you think is best for you and your boyfriend. There is not "right or wrong way" There is just whats right and wrong for you.. DH & I did what we believe is the right way for us.
This is coming from a younger person like myself..
DH & I started dating when I was 18 years old.. We fell very much in love.. And back then I probably would of said I was ready for a baby.. However we wanted to be more prepared and take each step at a time.. Once I turned 19 we then moved in together. Enjoyed living together and learning about one another. We both new we wanted kids but agreed that owning our own home and getting married were a MUST before having children... I have seen way way way too many of my friends fall in love early on in a relationship and being young and having children, then to find out oh we do not own a home and we are not married, now we do not get along etc..
I am by no means saying that would be you.. DH & I got engaged when I turned 20.. planned our wedding for 15 months & got married, and then bought our home. I will now be 22 next month and DH will be 24 in feb. We have been TTC for 5 cycles now..
And honestly when we first started dating and when we were a few years younger, we wanted kids.. However I am much much much more happier TTC now knowing we are 100% committed to one another in marriage, and we have a home we own for our baby. Im just a big advocate at taking one step at a time.
But.. whatever you do OP do what you think is best for you and your boyfriend. There is not "right or wrong way" There is just whats right and wrong for you.. DH & I did what we believe is the right way for us.
