So fed up with being judged!

[Camlet]

Hi ladys I am just feeling realy frustrated with a quite a few people lately with there annoying judgemental comments about my sons behavior he is autistic & he has melt downs in public & people seem to think that it's my fault & that it's my 'bad parenting' that's causing my 'brat' to play up when realy it's completly out of my control & can be over something very small such as a police car or in his case a bin man went by (he hates the bin man because of the sound it makes!) I even had some horrible person comment that 'people need to shut there kids up or shut there legs up' at one point I mean come on how rude can you get!! To make things worse I get stupid comments from my so called friends telling me that I should be super mum (I'm her own words) & take my kids out to some stupid event that is just going to be to crowded & stressfull for him & not to mention with his bowel problems very uncomfortable for him & because I won't take them I'm the rubbish mum who should stop having kids (I only have two btw) if I can't cope with taking them out I mean WTF!! It's not that I can't cope I just don't think it's a suitable place to take them both :-/ sorry for the rant just needed to get it of my chest!! xx

 

[9babiesgone]

I get comments like that all the time about my autistic daughter. who is 3!!! she fusses in the store about all kinds of silly things you wouldnt understand ifyou dont get her ticks.
I am so sorry theya re so judgemental maybe you should tell them, hey how about you try having an autistic child, and keeping them happy in public??? Or just tell them, hey my son is autistic, so shut up, if you dont know what the hell you are talking about.

 

[meggabear]

who the hell are they to talk to you like that?! that is horrible *hugs* and may they feel guilty as they should when or if they find out the little one is autistic and its out of his hands, he is unique and just as lovable as any other child. those jerks, so sory sweetie, that is so undeserved for the both of you *hugs*

 

[Camlet]

Thank you for your comments I feel alot better today Its great to have somewhere to just get it of my chest! I did tell my 'friend' exactly that & I think she finaly got it! Lol it's so irratating seeing other people judge each other before they know the full story & there was no need for those comments at all but I look at it this way I have way more important things in my life to worry about instead of worrying about what other small minded people think of me! xx

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I think they are awful. It used to bother me but now I think how crap their lives must be to judge others. I never used to say about autism to people but now I say that he has autism and watch them squirm as they feel uncomfortable. I normally wanna shout oh F off but I always compose myself and say it slyly and you can tell they feel awkward.

Either that or I ignore them.

Its horrible being judged by people who have aboslutley NO idea. Hugs x

 

[hopeandpray]

People are very ignorant about any conditions which effect behaviour. No one would ever blame a mother of a child with physical difficulties for not being able to walk, run etc and it shouldn't be any different for mums with a child that can't behave the way they are 'expected'

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I sometimes think people just dont care, my FIL with a physical disibilitys still gets tutted at, people are just unbelievable sometimes x

 

[lisaprvs]

Hi, my son was diagnosed with adhd over a year ago and ive found it really hard to come to terms with it! Hes 9! he also finds it difficult in social situations and people seem to think its the parents bad up bringing of the child thats the problem! I also have a 6 year old daughter who doesnt have this condition. I gets me so paranoid when im out that im constanatly watching over him. theres a difference between a badly brought up child and a child with adhd/asd/ who cannot help it! keep smiling and dont let it worry you x

 

[kelzyboo]

People are horrible sometimes! I always feel i'm being judged when she's having a meltdown, like why can't i control my own child? Its not that simple is it, in fact its impossible to control someone having a meltdown but the people looking and commenting don't have a clue why they're doing it, try not to let it bother you hun x

Sometimes wish i could run over and tell them its not her fault or mine but i don't, why should i have to! I am guilty of saying certain things though, i can't help it sometimes lol like when i hear some old woman saying 'i wish people would control their kids' i do say very loudly 'i wish some people would f**k off' either that or 'i wish narrow minded people would keep their opinions to themselves', i like the look of shock on their faces lol but thats just me, i'm confrontational like that!! x

 

[Camlet]

Thank you all for your replys I realy appreciate all your support it realy does get to me no matter what the disability people are so ignorant & rude & even when they do know you still get the odd ones who don't believe you & think you are just making excuses! xx

 

[kelzyboo]

As if we'd make it up as an excuse, people can be very ignorant, we don't need that stress to add to what we've already got! Hard as it is, we have to ignore them and leave them to their petty, narrow minded little lives xx

 

[MrsRabbit]

Until they have walked in these uncomfortable ugly shoes they won't get it. I have lost a friend because she thinks she knows what it's like to have a special needs child because she has a teenager - seriously. Stupid twat.

 

[Maze]

I wear an autism awareness lanyard around my neck to avoid this. Buy one that is very noticeable and bold. Currently, I sport an "I Love Someone With Autism"... not only does it spread awareness, but when people start glaring they look pretty ashamed of themselves once they spot what I am wearing.

Another thing one of my friends does is print out business cards explaining autism, to pass to people during really difficult tantrums... I don't know how comfy I would be doing that myself, but she doesn't seem to mind.

 

[xxClaire_24xx]

thats bloody shocking since having Ellie I havent been able to keep my mouth shut anymore when strangers give their opinions, I hope you told her where to bloody go!!!! i can imagine how hard it must be for you, chin up lovely xx

 

[Adanma]

Maze, I have given out cards myself. I have also looked them in the eye and said, "He has autism. If you would like to lend me a hand great! If not please move on."

Sometimes though it's frustrating feeling like you have to explain and educate everyone on autism. It's actually none of their business nor is my child's behaviour in general autism or not! But I do feel like I have to say something. Why can't people be supportive of parents instead of judging and demeaning? Even if the child doesn't have autism the parent is obviously struggling at that point and what good is a rude comment going to do?

Adanma

 

[velvetina]

Hun, I am sorry, I too have experienced negative responses and it stays with you. The protective streak never goes and even now my eldest has just turned 15, it is always there.

I think the card option is a good one and I am sure you can purchase them through the National Autistic Society. You will always get ignorant people who have an opinion and have no idea, it is shocking and hurtful, I wish I could make them walk a mile in our shoes (so to speak). x

 

[Pink Sunshine]

I have no idea how you must feel. I'm sure that you are a wonderful mom and you choose activities with your child's safety in mind. I am almost blind and a "friend" of mine said I shouldn't have children because I won't be able to take care of them! There are a lot of stupid people in the world. I am so sorry you have to go through that. I found that it helps to stick my tongue out at them when they aren't looking.

 

[Mummy2Boo]

Having dealt with this on countless occasions, I've finally realised that people stare because it's someone making a fuss and they are just plain nosy. The comments are rude but that's because they are ignorant.

I have even had serious words with healthcare 'professionals' who have no clue and stick their noses in where it's unwelcome! These are people with access to medical records but they are 'too busy' to read them.

I tend to ignore most of the people who make comments and stare, they aren't worth my energy when I have a child who needs my attention. On a few rare occasions I have had people offer to help and that's just lovely but it's very rare!

 

[DanielleM]

Some people are so uneducated honestly!!! I am forever getting looks and being told by people that I should not park in disabled spaces, and people accuse me of abusing my grandparents disabled parking badge, until I open my boot and get out my son wheelchair!! I get it that much that I feel really bad when I park in a disabled space until I get the wheelchair out!!

I am trying to take less notice of these people but it is hard and easier said than done. You just do what is right for you and your children!! xx