so my 13 year old niece has got the implant :/

[kimbobaloobob]

well yesterday i found out my 13 year old niece is dating and activly having sex with a 19 (nearly 20) year old boy, and her mum, my brothers ex, has allowed her to get the implant. I cant make my mind up as o wether this is right or not.
on one hand its protecing her against unwanted pregancy but on the other hand its saying 'its ok zoe you can have sex when ever you please now cause you wont get preganat'
i think im just super confused, what do you think?

 

[Anxious5]

Isnt it illegal for the 19yr old to have sex with a 13 yr old

 

[kimbobaloobob]

yes, but when my sister and brother said this to the male this is the reply they recieved from her over face book

sam, i know your family, but im sorry for this, but tbh i hate you. you have no fucking right to message my boyfriend, Just keave me and him alone, if im happy you should be happy, NEVER fucking talk to me again, and you've lost me as a niece now. hope yah glad. YOUR A SELFISH DICK! THAT GOES TO JAMES TOO, and whoever ...wants to fucking call him or threaten him!!!. if you fucking talk to him again i swear. i will do horrible things.

yes it is illegal but as you can see she has an attitude problem and also has inherited the familys mental problems (she has a girl named emily who tells her to 'cut deeper') so we have to 'tiptoe' around her as such.

not that we have much to do with her..

 

[Jkelmum]

I guess at least she isnt gunna get pregnant but as her mum thought of explaining abiyt STD,S ? x

 

[kimbobaloobob]

i have no idea, shes deleted me on fb thanks to my sister and brother having a go so i cant even ask her to find out if she knows ect...

 

[xolily]

I do wonder why she's sexually active at 13 but bar keeping her in the house 24/7 I don't think there's anything they can do but protect her now.. she's gonna do it regardless. With regards to the boyfriend, i'd report him to the police.

 

[2nd time mum]

I personally don't think it is right but if she is sexually active what can you do really. Last thing she would need just now is pregnancy and a baby. I have a 14 year old boy and would hate to think he might get someone pregnant at this stage, he's not old enough himself.

Your niece seeing someone that age - would he not be placed on the sex offenders register if there was a complaint about it? It seems like quite a big age gap considering she is only 13.

 

[Blah11]

Eurgh, whats the 20 year old thinking?! I look at a 13 year old and just see a kid. I don't agree with giving such a young girl an implant full of hormones either Suppose thats beside the point anyway as she shouldnt be having sex at all. Oh well, she'll learn when he dumps her.

 

[kimbobaloobob]

well shes one of these where she as a boyfriend on the monday loves him by the wednesday a week later its over.... but this one has been on the scene about 3 weeks now ?(this is long for her) i just dont know how my brother alows it! and im not reporting it as i will loose family over it and she will only go and find someother bloke...
she is also very old for her age, she is about 5'7 or 8 and has a curvy 12/14 (?) grown womans body she could probly pass as 17/18 which dosent go in her favour either
i just dont know what to do, do i just leave her to it or try and be her friend and talk some sence into it

 

[AppleBlossom]

Isn't that classed as sex with a minor?

 

[kimbobaloobob]

yup

 

[Mindy_mini]

Shes gonna do what shes going to do. Better she's protected against pregnancy than getting pregnant at 13 by an irrisponsible man (he is irresponsible in the fact that he's breaking the law and sleeping with a minor) who wont be there in 9 months time when the babys born.

Whilst it does increase the risk of her thinking shes indestructable and catching an STI, I think her mother has done the right(ish) thing - She needs to stress the importance of using condoms for protection and have a big talk with her about how emence having a sexual relationship is.

Teenagers wont be told though at the end of the day.

 

[kimbobaloobob]

the big talk thing is what im worried about her mum has never been the one to talk, when zoe came my mums once and my mum gave her a cuddle zoe said ive never had a cuddle like that before, my mum dosent cuddle me so as you can imagine her mum that kind of person who does things like that.
i dont know if she has had it or not, but i dont want to just butt in and fall out with her too

 

[StarBound]

such a shame to read about such a situation

Is the boyfriend quite grown up or just a immature git ?
Maybe someone could approach him and just be honest about your worries , surely if hes mature he wont sleep with her anyway. Unfortunately nothing is going to stop her having sex but maybe her bloke could realise what hes doing - maybe reporting the relationship to the police would be a good idea.

 

[kimbobaloobob]

if i report ot tpto the police i will loose family plus she will only go and fine another bloke. i havent ment the guy as both my niece and him like in chorley and im in stoke, so their is a fair distance

 

[leeanne]

To be honest, I think putting her on the implant was a wise decision.

Girls are becoming sexually active at a younger age and 13-15 is usually the age where many have sex for the first time. I always said that if there was any indication my daughter was having sex or going that route, I would be putting her on the pill.

Yes, it may seem like you are condoning it and I've thought about that too. However, no matter if a girl is on or off of it, they are going to do it anyhow.

Although I don't agree with a 20 year old man having sex with a 13 year old.

 

[pinkmummy]

To be honest, I think putting her on the implant was a wise decision.

Girls are becoming sexually active at a younger age and 13-15 is usually the age where many have sex for the first time. I always said that if there was any indication my daughter was having sex or going that route, I would be putting her on the pill.

Yes, it may seem like you are condoning it and I've thought about that too. However, no matter if a girl is on or off of it, they are going to do it anyhow.

Although I don't agree with a 20 year old man having sex with a 13 year old.

I totally agree with everything Leeanne has said x

 

[maaybe2010]

I've only read the first couplde of posts but wow. . .
That must be quite a shock!

When I think about it I started having sex at 14
So although I can understand some people will be shocked by her age, I'm really concered about his age.

I don't want to sound rude but why would a man of that age by having sex with a girl of 13. . . .
it sounds a little werid

As for the implant, it is definately a good thing she has it.
A pregnancy would be mad (especailly since she may have mental problems that you menitioned).
I see what you mean about her mum letting her have it but IMO if she wants to have sex, she will have sex.




xx

 

[AppleBlossom]

I do agree with Leeanne, it was wise for her to have the implant if she is sexually active, as wrong as I think 13 year olds having sex is, and I will assume her mother has tried her hardest to stop her from doing it. However having said that, if it was Grace and she was sexually active and that was my only choice as she was going to do it anyway, I would do it (and tell her to use condoms) BUT if it was a 19/20 year old man she was with I would be doing absolutely everything in my power to either stop her from seeing him or reporting him to the police. They're breaking the law and while we can't be naive about the fact that "kids" are out having sex, I would not want my daughter sleeping with a man 7 years her senior when she was physically still a child myself. But each to their own, you can't judge what mother's decide to do with their children

 

[Rhi_Rhi1]

surely this is statutory rape ? and you could report him, without having to leave a name ? or ask the police to leave ure name out of it? ... this is quite shocking and i would actually ground her for about a year! she would not be leaving the house! ... if my youngest sister done this... (she is 13) my family would just NOT allow it... how can the mother have such little control over a 13 year old ? i don't want to sound judgy because she may of tried her best..... at least she has got the implant, but this doesn't mean she wont catch something, and as for the 20 year old! he must be a bit mentally unstable/sick! imo .. sorry x