So sad to be here.

Discussion in 'Miscarriage Support' started by RosieB1977, Jan 24, 2011.

  1. RosieB1977

    RosieB1977 Well-Known Member

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    Hi all,
    This morning, I had a miscarriage. It was terribly painful as well as heartbreaking. I basically had trouble from the start. I spotted a lot(I know the Dr's say that it isn't THAT big of a deal, but not all ladies who spot end up having their baby, so it was a big deal for me), I had some cramping during as well.
    I was 10 weeks along, with a due date of Aug 17th. My fiance was great about it and was there for me right after giving me hugs and telling me everything will be ok. He says we will try again when the Dr says it's safe.
    I go to the Dr tomorrow to check everything out. I'm terrified.

    Any words of wisdom?
     
  2. Gem09

    Gem09 Well-Known Member

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    Awwww hun im soo sorry for your loss!

    I miscarried almost 6 weeks ago, my last check up was on the 4th Jan to make sure all was ok!

    Please dont be terrified, it is understanding that you feel like that (i was too) but they will just check that they is nothing left behind that could cause infection, i had a scan and a internal scan to make sure as i too had a natural miscarriage!

    Good Luck hun and let us know how you get on! xxx
     
  3. redarrow

    redarrow TTC our Rainbow Baby

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    Just to be strong darling and talk about your loss. Dont bottle it up (((hugs))) they will tell you to wait a couple of months before you try again but you are more fertile after a miscarriage. Make sure you are both physically and mentally prepared before you do try again though. Im sorry for you loss. I have had 12 losses and it is heartbreaking. You have lost apart of you and that will never get easier. Just remember we are all here for you and please talk about things. Take it easy, lots of love xxxx
     
  4. SilverFair

    SilverFair Well-Known Member

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    Just hang in there! Go easy on yourself. Try your best to stay positive. Allow yourself to grieve. Patience may be hard to come by, but you can't rush your body. Eventually things will get better. For me, writing in a journal helped. I also wrote a poem and read it at a mini-memorial my husband and I had for our little one. That really helped me the most I think. After the memorial, I felt like a big weight lifted off my shoulders. I still have rough days, but they're mixed in with days where I'm distracted by "normal" life. I found something to focus my energy on -- getting my photography business off the ground. Although it's no substitute for my dreams of having a child, it's been something productive that keeps me busy and looking towards the future. Unfortunately, I'm still in limbo land and haven't moved on since my miscarriage, because I haven't had a period yet and pregnancy tests have all been negative. Until I get one or the other (period or positive test), I can't really move on. It's not easy. Every day I think about my miscarriage, my tiny baby, and wanting to try for another. It's all I think about. Somehow you manage to just keep going, though. What else can you do? I want to be a mom, and if this is what I have to deal with to get there, then I'll do it. It sucks. It's painful. It's heartbreaking. It's devastating. It's all the things you said. It sounds like you have a wonderful fiance, though. That kind of support is key to getting through this experience. All the ladies on this forum are wonderful as well. I'm so glad I found this place. Instead of being terrified about going to the doctor tomorrow, try to look at it as a chance for some peace of mind. At least you don't have to wait long. Take everything in small steps. Make small goals. Looking too far ahead can make the waiting unbearable. You'll either test your blood or do pregnancy tests over the next few weeks to make sure your hcg level goes down. You might be offered a scan to make sure everything has cleared your uterus. All of these things are important steps towards getting your body back on track and to trying again when you're ready. Stay strong and feel free to post any time you need a bit of hope, a question answered, to vent, to scream how unfair it is, etc. We're all here to listen and we've all been where you've been. *HUGS*
     
  5. xSamanthax

    xSamanthax DD1, DS1 and 1 Angel

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    Aww hun i'm so sorry for your loss :hugs: I MC just over a week ago at 9 weeks and my due date was Aug 18th! It's one of the hardest things i've ever had to go through. If you want to cry make sure you cry, i cried for the first 2 days straight, i still cry sometimes now. Talking to the people on here has helped me loads, especially with questions that i've had.

    Make sure are both physically and mentally prepared before you try again. Me at the moment i can't even have :sex: and i have told my OH i won't be ready mentally to have :sex: until i get a negative test result as at the moment i'm still testing positive.

    We are here for you to talk to whenever you need it :hugs:
     
  6. RosieB1977

    RosieB1977 Well-Known Member

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    Thank you all so much! Rich has been very supportive, and I'm lucky to have him. We are going to talk to the dr and see when it'll be safe. We aren't going to rush because we don't want to jinx it. A lot of my friends are unable to have children, and to be honest, I'm happy to at least know I can get pregnant. I'm not being insensitive, just realistic.
     
  7. SilverFair

    SilverFair Well-Known Member

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    I know what you mean about being able to get pregnant. I was so terrified that my husband and I wouldn't be able to conceive. I had nothing to base that fear on other than the fact that it was something SO important to me, I couldn't stand the thought of not being able to. But it turns out that we CAN conceive and that's a great relief. My husband and I remind each other of that now and then, because that's one step closer to our goal of having a family. Hopefully once my body finally decides to get back to normal, we'll be able to conceive again and be part of the 80% of women who go on to have normal pregnancies after miscarriage!
     
  8. mummylove

    mummylove Well-Known Member

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    So sorry for ur loss hun

    I miscarried 22 and half months ago. I was told we could start trying straight away

    Good luck with it hun
     

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