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So scared I'm going to lose the baby

AussieBub

Mum to 2DD & 1DS
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I've been having a hard time believing I'm pregnant ever since i found out 3 days ago but with each passing day i get more and more convinced I'm going to lose the baby. We were so lucky and conceived straight away and now im scared the baby will be taken away just as quickly and easily. I was never this scared with my first. I think it's partly denial. I can't believe I'm pregnant and therefore im convincing myself that come 12 week scan I'll learn that i lost the baby. I'm really scared and don't know how to stop thinking about it and staying calm. I'm just an emotional mess right now.

-AussieBub
 
Me too.

I think it's natural to worry, because you want it so much you're scared of it being taken. im certain pretty much every woman here has felt the same way. Plus being on a forum like this, unfortunately you see when it does go wrong, which statistically is low, but because of the nature of a forum, it seems more prevalent than it would be in your real life.

Could you book a reassurance scan for a couple of weeks? The risk of MC is like 2% after you've seen a heartbeat. Meaybe that could help? :hugs:
 
Totally normal. Everytime i wee i worry ill see blood. Everyday your baby is getting stronger and you are more likely to have a baby than to mc. Just a waiting game really isn't it :-( xx
 
It's totally normal especially in the early days before you've had a scan and symptoms may be minimal. Both when pregnant with my son and this time, I was convinced I would lose.first I expected chemical pregnancy (had one of those before my son) then blighted ovum or ectopic or missed miscarriage! Went for early scan both times and all well. If you google daily odds of pregnancy miscarriage you'll find a site that's quite reassuring, called spacefem I think, it shows the miscarriage chance going down daily. And i would also recommend an early scan for reassurance, personally I would rather pay for one of those than a gender scan later on. Remember chances are in your favour that all will be fine. Xx
 
In all honesty, the worry never really goes away so you do need to find a way to enjoy your pregnancy and cope with the worry.

I'm luckily not a huge worrier but there has always been an edge of concern throughout pregnancy at the back of my mind. At various stages about various things! I'm actually finding these final few weeks the worst, I'm so anxious to get baby out safely after all this time!

In the early stages, I very much rationalised that there is nothing you can do. Pregnancy is out of your hands, you just have to carry on as hope everything is fine. Which it most likely absoloutely will be! :) no amount of worrying and being upset will change the outcome, it'll just make the whole thing mentally exhausting for you!

Smile and congratulations on your pregnancy! All the very best for the next 9 months!
 
Thanks ladies. I think I'm freaking out because in the past couple of years I've seemed to be surrounded by miscarriage. My ex-sister-in-law miscarried before i conceived my first and since my DD was born, I've known 4 other women to miscarry, 3 of which i met though this site when we shared our first pregnancies. And they all miscarried with 6 months of each other. The 4th was my cousin who miscarried before my nephew was born last July. She's just given birth to a beautiful little girl a couple days ago.

I guess seeing so many women i know losing their babies and me getting pregnant so quickly, part of me feels like life is just setting me up to understand their pain. I'm so scared. More scared than i was in DD. My hormones are all over the place at the moment and literally everything has been stressing me out. I'm exhausted lol.

-AussieBub
 
I agree with the ladies the worry never leaves you I have had 6 MC's and I have been fearful since day dot with my baby I am now 11 weeks and 1 day. However I will say as I've been so anxious I have had 5 early scans, maybe you could ring your local hospital and ask them for an early scan due to anxiety generally the hospital staff want to keep us mummies as calm as possible so will try and help as much as they can. Maybe try ringing them or going to your doctor and explaining and get them to refer you personally. X
 
I'm so sorry to hear of your miscarriages. I cant imagine how hard they must have been and how scared you are now. I'll keep you and your little bean in my thoughts. Thanks floor the advice, I'll see what the gp says next week at my appointment.

-AussieBub
 
I completely understand that feeling. OH and I tried for 2 years, and then decided to take an NTNP break in the fall, since conceiving then would have been inconvenient anyway for summer weddings. Then we got our completely unexpected BFP on Valentine's! I'm 15+6, have seen and heard the heartbeat and been told everything is completely normal, and I'm still checking for blood every time I wipe, and wondering about every little twinge. I think it's nomal to worry, especially when you weren't expecting to get your BFP when you did.

I understand being scared by others' miscarriages, too. One of my cousins had an ectopic on her first pregnancy, and a close friend of mine went into early labour and gave birth to a stillborn son at 34 weeks. Both went on to have normal pregnancies after. The cousin has 2 kids 2 years apart, and the friend has a beautiful pair of fraternal twin toddlers.

I've also encountered a lot of stories here on B&B of ladies who experienced MMCs. Those are SO rare, but this community doesn't represent the average population. We're the ones who are worried, or don't have enough fellow mothers offline to bounce our worries off of.
 
Thanks, yeah i think I'm most afraid of a MMC. One of the friends i made through here had a MMC and found out at her 12 week scan that the baby died at 9 weeks. Hearing so many people i know experiencing MC's, it just makes it so much more real. At first you think it will never happen to you but then seeing people you care about going through it, you suddenly realise it could happen. Think that's what makes it more scary.

-AussieBub
 
I feel exactly the same at the moment, this baby wasn't planned at all and was a total surprise/shock but having been through a miscarriage once the thought of going through it again fills me with dread.
 
I've woken up yet again not feeling pregnant and that terrifies me. I'm so scared I'll end up like my friend who went to her 12 week scan all excited and ready to see her baby only to learn it's tiny heart stopped beating 3 weeks earlier. I'm so scared I'll have a MMC. I don't want a miscarriage either but i don't think i could handle what happened to my friend. I've been on/off crying today because I'm so scared. I just want really strong symptoms, like morning sickness to reassure me. But nothing, i wake up every morning feeling fine and i hate it :cry:

-AussieBub
 
Aussie I feel exactly the same and it's destroying my mood entirely. I'm 4 weeks and 2/3 days and yet I feel absolutely nothing besides the odd tiny bit of nausea. My boobs aren't sore at all. The only thing reassuring me is the fact my pregnancy tests are a lot darker now.

I keep getting constant stomach pains/twinges and achiness am that is always worrying me!!

There is absolutely nothing we can do, what will be will be I guess. But honestly take reassurance that every day right now for me is hellish, and I just can't wait for each day to end so that I'm one step closer to 12 weeks. I was never this bad with my first!
 
I was fine with my first but back then i only knew one person who'd ever miscarried but we all knew she would because of things going on in her life at the time (she was not well). Since my first though, I've known 4 others to lose their babies and they were all different. One was a MMC. One lost her baby at 14 weeks. One had a chemical pregnancy and the last didn't actually miscarry but they found at the scan that baby was growing with all organs outside the body and would not survive birth. They had to make the choice to abort baby or carry it full term and have a stillborn delivery.

So now, after hearing all my friends having such different losses, I've got so much more to be scared of than the first pregnancy. Just wish i didn't know any of it because then I'd be blissfully ignorant and could get through to the scan easily.

-AussieBub
 
I've woken up yet again not feeling pregnant and that terrifies me. I'm so scared I'll end up like my friend who went to her 12 week scan all excited and ready to see her baby only to learn it's tiny heart stopped beating 3 weeks earlier. I'm so scared I'll have a MMC. I don't want a miscarriage either but i don't think i could handle what happened to my friend. I've been on/off crying today because I'm so scared. I just want really strong symptoms, like morning sickness to reassure me. But nothing, i wake up every morning feeling fine and i hate it :cry:

-AussieBub

In all fairness hun you are a little over 5 weeks i never have symptoms that early, for most people symptoms really kick in between week 6 and 8. If you are really stressing then you should book a private reassurance scan for around 7/8 weeks they really are worth every penny.
 
I know I'm just being silly. Just with it being so differentto my last pregnancy, I'm finding it hard to believe that I'm growing a life inside of me and keep expecting it to all go wrong.

-AussieBub
 
It's not easy to stop the worry but let me tell you, I never really believed I was going to carry my second to term and it robbed me of enjoying my pregnancy. In hindsight if anything had happened to him, not enjoying the pregnancy wouldn't have made that any easier.

I had an ectopic last year (my third pregnancy) so was very anxious at the start of this pregnancy. I have seen baby's heartbeat so for now I am trying to stay focused on today and today I am pregnant. I'm 8+3 and still don't have a lot of symptoms....

Also, for all the sad stories, I'm sure when you look around there are a lot of healthy babies/children. There is a greater chance of success than miscarriage.

Take care :hugs:
 
:hugs: :hugs:

Keep taking one day at a time Mama, I know it's hard but try to enjoy your pregnancy. I spent most of my first pregnancy worrying and I regret not just enjoying it.
 
I've been the same! I had a scan last week and they saw a healthy baby with heart beat, yolk sac, fetal pole etc... that calmed my nerves for about 12 hours and all week ive been turning myself crazy again so ive booked a acan for next Friday when I'll be 8 weeks. I'm hoping the feeling goes away and I can get the 12 weeks without feeling like I'm going to lose the baby :(
 
It's totally normal to be anxious about having a MC, you want this baby so much so it's only natural to worry about the what ifs.

I had an ectopic before I had my daughter, and then I had two MMC and a MC back to back before falling pregnant with this baby. We weren't even trying for this baby, son had a bit of a meltdown when I had a positive test because I was so depressed and anxious about the MC's I just didn't feel ready. I was convinced that we would lose this one too, but went for an early scan and saw a beautifully strong heartbeat and the baby was measuring a week ahead of what I thought (wasn't certain of dates as my cycle after my MC was all over the place!)

I know it's a whole lot easier said than done, but try to relax and not over think everything. If you are concerned, boom an early scan to put your mind at ease <3
 

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