So the Health Visitor came yesterday...

Mazzy17

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Hi Ladies,

The health visitor came yesterday and although she was impressed by my little monsters development she has left me with a concerns about what me and Hubby are doing. To get Amy to sleep she doesnt settle into her cot so to get her to sleep we sit downstairs holding her and she drifts off, then we place her in the cot. Sometimes she doesnt go down until 10.30pm. Are we doing something wrong?
 
If it works for you and your family then it's fine. My LO has only settled in his bed for the last few months. Before that we sat in the chair in his room and cuddled him to sleep in the dark. That might be less stimulating for your LO if you want her to go to sleep earlier. Also it may be worth looking at her naps to see if she's napping too late or too long.

Don't let the HV make you feel bad though. She's your child and you're entitled to parent her however you want. The 7-7 sleep schedule doesn't suit every child and parent.
 
No...I don't think you are doing anything wrong. My kids fall asleep in DH's arms on the couch, and if my two year old doesn't then, dh still rocks him to sleep. He turned two in January. They're still little, imo, and if they need comfort, then why not give it to them?...
 
My DS falls asleep in my arms every night while I read him a book. I then sit and cuddle him until he makes a move to turn over, half an hour or so, this is when I move him to his bed. He was 4 a couple of weeks ago and this is the way we have always done it. It works for us and we both enjoy it. Things will change as he gets older and doesn't want to do it any more, until then we will keep doing it our way. Enjoy.
 
I totally agree with the previous posts if it works for you and your family then it's fine, every family is so different so you can't compare
 
We did this until our daughter was around 11 months old.. then all of a sudden she stopped falling asleep in our arms. Just wouldn't. NIGHTMARE. Ended up with us going for long drives every night trying to get her to sleep, then hoping to keep her asleep when getting her out of the car and up to bed but not always succeeding.
Eventually we gave up and tried the 'let them cry' method until it eventually worked. God send.
My daughter now goes to bed (and has done for some months) with a drink at 7 and will get herself off to sleep... most nights anyway. :)
 
I recently got negative comments from my HV for not always putting Holly down to bed awake. She said it can cause night terrors. I don't believe that as Holly hasn't had a night terror since last summer. If it works for you then I would continue doing it. They all become independent eventually :thumbup:
 
I used to feed to sleep for every nap and bedtime. Until he was 3 months we held him in the evening downstairs before putting him to bed.
Until he was 6 months I Co napped or held him the whole time he was asleep In the day.
He self settles in his own bed with no issue most of the time now with no problem.
If you want to change things then there are ways eg darkness in the nursery and cuddles there or staying with until asleep in the cot.
But if you are both happy with your method just because it doesn't fit into the ridiculous ideas a lot of people seem to have about children sleeping through 7-7 on their own doesn't mean it's wrong or you need to change.
Xx
 
Do what works for you. We do bath, read books, sing and cuddle to sleep. I plan to read to her for many years to come. Hvs around where i live go on to every parent when your baby reaches 6 months to cio. I will personally not do this (not saying anyone who does is wrong but it is not our style of parenting) my lo goes to sleep between 7.30-8 no stress. I co slept, i bf to sleep and cuddle to sleep and now my lo is happy to fall asleep and enjoys bed time. Your child wont always need to be hugged to sleep and i am enjoying hugs while i can. Its not creating a rod for your own back and children will learn to self soothe in own time. Put it this way i dont just lie down in a dark room waiting for sleep i have my bath and read so most adults have some kind of routine. My dh needs tv to fall asleep. Do whats right for you and your family if not you cause stress for everyone
 
I do exactly the same thing with Nathan, and have always done the same for my other kids when they were babies too. If it works for you, it works, don't question it.
 
If you're happy then there's nothing wrong with it.

If you want to get her to self settle I recommend the No Cry Sleep Solution book.
 
Like already said- if it works for you and LO, then so beit! Doesn't matter what works for anyone else- long as you are good :)

We actually put our LO down for a nap by driving her around- usually we are out and about anyway, and just head home when we know she's tired she falls asleep then we put her in her bed. It works for her and us. We don't do this at night- we have a routine for her bedtime, but that is also what works for us.

I figure as parents, it's good to take in all the expert (or family or friend) advise... then throw it all out the window and so what makes sense for our family. :)
 

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