So Upset!!! Midwife just called me stupid!!!

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Third Trimester' started by Amelia Pond, Nov 18, 2011.

  1. Amelia Pond

    Amelia Pond Well-Known Member

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    I am gobsmacked. She also told me the sex of my baby when I didn't even know......and had decided I didn't want to know.

    I just phoned her to discuss the possibility of a home delivery. She asked me where I had gotten this idea and that it was a ridiculous request. She told me I was being stupid. And then said as I have big babies there is a risk of baby being stuck and I could hemorrhage! .....she has scared me to death about the fact that I could die in childbirth....I just want to cry!

    She told me that I was lucky last time I had a girl and that is why she wasn't any bigger than my boy who was 10lb 2 but as this baby is a boy it is guaranteed that this boy will be even bigger than my other boy! I didn't even know I was having a boy!!!!!! I am a little stunned.
     
  2. squishorz

    squishorz Active Member

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    just...wow..
    She definately shouldn't have called you stupid, and it wasn't nice scaring you like that either! Downright rude to be honest, is there anyone you can complain to? I wouldn't want someone like that working with me when I'm about to go into labour :/
     
  3. xpensivtaste

    xpensivtaste Well-Known Member

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    oh dear. that was very out of line. i would be putting a complaint in about her :0/
     
  4. Belle25

    Belle25 Guest

    She sounds horrible. I would transfer to another midwife, and in straight forward pregnancies, a home birth has been shown to be just as safe mas a hospital birth. Should the need arise in labour they transfer you to hospital anyway.

    Complain about her.

    You are not stupid!
    xx
     
  5. Little_bump

    Little_bump Well-Known Member

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    WOW...

    I would be fuming! Change your midwife! you still have time to and deffinately complain about her because she cannot say that!

    Please change because now is when all the worries about childbirth come about and her saying that will not be helping!

    x
     
  6. Amy2701

    Amy2701 Mummy of 2

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    That is terrible! I would be right on the phone to the highest ranked person I could find complaining about her! She sounds awful!!!
     
  7. jessrabbit

    jessrabbit Well-Known Member

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    Definately complain and get a new one. What a mentalist x
     
  8. Amelia Pond

    Amelia Pond Well-Known Member

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    It's just left me really weepy!.....I have left a message with the consultant midwife and I will make a complaint to her..... I just can't believe the attitude. I am aware that there are risks, but there are risks with every birth....and the hospital that I am booked into, do not give epidurals, so I will not get anything different at hospital that I cannot get at home, I just thought I'd be more relaxed and things would go smoother.....but now I am starting to question myself....

    She even told me that I wasn't putting my babies best interest first, which has left me feeling really shitty to be honest! :(
     
  9. squishorz

    squishorz Active Member

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    Completely out of order, take it from us hun she is just a bitch! Don't let her make you feel upset x
     
  10. Ginaerhol

    Ginaerhol Mummy of 3 princesses :D

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    i would put in a complaint and see if you can change MW's that is unacceptable and so unprofessional x
     
  11. Shortcake01

    Shortcake01 Well-Known Member

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    What a cow! How did she know the sex though? I was told mine at the scan in conversation but it's not anywhere in my notes. Definitely complain, freedom of choice and all that and there are ways to get her point across without being rude xxx
     
  12. charbaby

    charbaby pregnant with baby no.4

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    OMG thats well out of order! x
     
  13. Little_bump

    Little_bump Well-Known Member

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    Of course you have your babies interest at heart! My midwife keeps pushing for me to have a home birth saying that its just as safe as in a hospital! If she has concerns then she should have worded it ALOT better than what she did!

    If the consultant midwfe doesn't do anything then find out the number for the head of midwives at your hospital, thats what I had to do first!
    x
     
  14. Daisy1986

    Daisy1986 Well-Known Member

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    wow...can't believe she said that! If she had concerns she should never have worded it like that and telling you the sex is awful! Hope you aren't too upset x
     
  15. Ol1vertwist

    Ol1vertwist Well-Known Member

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    It's strange the differences of opinions amongst the midwifes as all I have been told is having the baby at home is the safest place, I would push for what you want and no one should be persuading you one way or another as it's your body, your baby not theirs. Consider the risks, do your research and then make your case to her.
     
  16. xsadiex

    xsadiex Well-Known Member

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    What a bitch!

    Having a big baby shouldn't stop you from having a homebirth, especially if you've had one before. If your body makes big babies that's most likely what it's supposed to do! I am pretty sure you can still have a homebirth.
    Can't believe how horrible she was to you, some of them are just awful!
     
  17. Catwiffy

    Catwiffy Well-Known Member

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    That's absolutely disgusting! You really need to make a formal complaint.xx
     
  18. ljo1984

    ljo1984 2DDs,2angels <3

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    oh my god! definatly complain! get under the care of another mw as well you dont need people like that looking after you! so what if youve had 2 big babies that doesnt mean this one will be, every baby is different despite what the past shows! and how does she know the sex anyway?? oh im so mad for you! x
     
  19. x_Rainbow_x

    x_Rainbow_x Well-Known Member

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    complain i flipping well would... some people have no tact. theres ways of telling people there idea might not be ideal for them or there child and that certainly isnt it!
     
  20. x_Rainbow_x

    x_Rainbow_x Well-Known Member

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    acctually thinking of it, how does she acctually no baby is a boy? iv had 3 mws and was under consultant care so all my notes are on the drs system and none of them new the sex of my baby theyv all asked me if i knew... they dont write the sex down :S esp in your maternity notes....
     

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