Some advice please *update*

Discussion in 'Single Parents' started by shiawase, Jan 31, 2011.

  1. shiawase

    shiawase mum & expecting # 2

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    Liams dad comes down to see him when he pleases sometimes its once a week sometimes once a fortnight he came down today so i asked him if he had phoned CSA yet to confirm something so they can start taking the money for liam out of his bank account he said no not yet so i offered for him to use my landline still he refuses saying he hasnt got the number and stuff so i just shake my head and say well i gotta phone them later anyway and he gets up and storms out!

    He comes back after 2 minutes saying he doesnt want an argument but i wasnt arguing just stated the truth which he doesnt like (in 10 months he hasnt spent one penny on liam) so then he tells me that he has to go to bristol tomorrow for 2 days for work so he wont be able to contact them till next week!? So i just said whatever the moneys not for me its for liam so the sooner you get it done the better and he starts shouting his mouth off makes liam jump so bad he starts crying so i just told him to leave.

    So for some reason i checked his FB page out and it wasnt private anymore so i could see his wall and he lied to me! he isnt going away for work he's going to cardiff for a piss up which is why he wouldnt phone csa because he knew they would take money out that he will need he also tells me he has to work when really he's spent all day in the pub on one status he put that he was in the pub and it was the same weekend i asked to borrow £10 because i couldnt afford liams milk/nappies plus gas and he said he was skint that weekend we went without heating i had to buy tescos own brand blue stripe nappies (which are very good actually!!) and i had to steal milk (please dont bash me for doing that cows milk makes him sick) and all the while he was in the pub not giving a toss about liam.

    Im coming to the end of my tether with him i can imagine what its gonna be like him saying he will be down then he wont turn up and liam will be upset and he upset him already today by shouting at me for no good reason so im thinking about nipping it in the bud now but seeings im struggling with money if i stop him from seeing liam will CSA still bug him to pay for his child? Im just asking before i phone them i guess if they wont make him pay then fair enough i'll struggle.

    Sorry its so long im just ranting really he gets to me so much i love my little boy more than anything and would do anything for him just wish his dad would too :cry:
     
  2. littlekitten8

    littlekitten8 Mummy of 1

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    Hun nobody can judge you for providing for your child. Even if he isn't seeing his child, FOB still has to pay for him. The CSA do not need his permission to take money from his bank account. Phone them and let them know what he is up to. My FOB is refusing to even speak to CSA so they did a deduction from earnings order so it comes straight from his wages without his permission. They can do this by law. Just wanted to wish you luck with it all. Also do you claim benefits? You must be entitled to something to help out with expenses x
     
  3. billy2mm

    billy2mm Mum of 2 cheeky monkeys!!

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    take screenshots of his fb hun!

    call the csa and tell them all this and get the email address of your case worker to send them copies too.

    doesnt matter if he sees lo he has to pay. the only time it would affect the maintence payments is if he had lo in his care for more than about 20 weeks a year or something.
     
  4. shiawase

    shiawase mum & expecting # 2

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    Thanks for your replies, i will get on the phone to them tomorrow. I recieve other beniefits but my family live with me at the moment and my dad was laid off work before xmas so basically been living off what i get, he's back to work tomorrow so hopefully things will be easier!
     
  5. purpledahlia

    purpledahlia Mummy

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    Like the others have said, Nip it in the bud, Call CSA - they will sort out the money regardless of if he visits or not. Once hes started paying you can decide what to do about contact x
     
  6. shiawase

    shiawase mum & expecting # 2

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    Just an update, i phoned him yesterday and asked if he had phoned CSA he said they phoned him and i will recieve my backdated money on the 1st of march. He then says by the way i wont be seeing liam at your house anymore i will be doing things my way from now on! HIS WAY!!! I told him he'll have to go to court that i know he's been lying and that if he really wanted to he could come down and see liam more than just 4 hours a week/fortnight, he just hung up on me. So i dont know whats going to happen now but i have screen printed everything on his facebook so atleast i have evidence of him choosing the pub and fun days out over liam, i also have screen printed emails from ages ago of him agreeing to meet a woman he never met before when it was his day to have liam he told her to wait around the corner so i dont see her! So im hoping i have enough to proove that he's an unfit parent. I didnt want any of this atall annoys me that i feel bad about this when i have done nothing wrong!!!
     
  7. billy2mm

    billy2mm Mum of 2 cheeky monkeys!!

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    :hugs: hun sounds like you have everything in your court.

    he may well get visitation but you have alot of evidence there to push for supervised contact.
     
  8. Yazz_n_bump

    Yazz_n_bump Me, Fiancé & Jack! :)

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    ^^ WSS.

    It's disgusting he won't pay for his son yet will pay to get pissed up every weekend. :growlmad: He won't be able to say jack shit if you screen shot his FB.
     
  9. shiawase

    shiawase mum & expecting # 2

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    I know! he doesnt deserve our gorgeous son how he can go without seeing him or buying him something is beyond me! Im printing all his fb pages out and writing comments about the dates etc just incase he does take me to court. I havent heard from him yet tho.
     

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