Some advice re stepson

Discussion in 'Kids & Teenagers' started by puppycat, Sep 3, 2009.

  1. puppycat

    puppycat Mum & PAL

    Jan 29, 2009
    Likes Received:
    Hello ladies

    I'm visinting from third tri, not wandered through BnB before!!
    Some advice if you wouldn't mind??

    DH's son is 5y.o. He'll be 6 in Jan.

    His mum doesn't want him to grow up (only child and she's a single parent) and so he still sleeps in a nappy and has a dummy for bed. (Just don't get me started!)

    DH is working tomorrow eve so bed time will be my area, this will only be the second time he has slept at ours as we now have a spare room which is all his. (We usually have him for the day, every weekend, sometimes during the week also).

    I really REALLY don't want to put this child to bed in a sodding nappy and give him a dummy, I figure it'd be better for me to seem evil rather than DH and I'm fine with any upset etc, I have the speech prepared re him being such a big boy now and there being a waterproof sheet on the mattress.

    What do you think? Am I being harsh and should just let him carry on being a child or is it ok for us to have a different routine to his mother? :shrug:
  2. dali

    dali Well-Known Member

    Apr 28, 2009
    Likes Received:
    hmm i would see what your OH thinks about it hun. dont know how much of a mother figure you are to him but i would worry that its not my place to change things for him ( but like i said it maybe that you are like a second mum to him in which case maybe it is your place )
    how about saying to his mum " hey im thinking about trying him out without the nappy on... would that be ok?" or make it look like you are doing her a favor testing the water for her... it could just be laziness on her part or not wanting to clean up accidents.
    either way i would talk to his mother / get OH to and see if she would be ok with you doing this as once he has started not using th nappy anymore it would probably be best for him to carry on with the new way of things while at home with his mum too IYKWIM,
    it might just be too confusing for himto keep changing between a nappy and not having one.
    i know he is way too old for nappies and dummys but if you do go ahead with any changes maybe just make them one at a time taking the dummy and nappy at the sam time might be too much for him? come to think of it maybe try gettign him to ditch the dummy to begin with and see how that goes? ( you could tell him that if he puts the dummy in a special pot in a different room and goes to bed without it that it will get taken away ( fairy?) and he will get a present for being such a big boy....
  3. DizzyMoo

    DizzyMoo Guest

    Hello hun,
    Tbh i think you might be what he needs to get him to grow up properly, Whilst he is at yours then why not try talking to him 1st & ask if he likes wearing the nappy, or show him pictures of babies with dummies & try explaining that he needs to start letting go of it now.
    See if you can make it a happy positive " big boy " experience for him.
    Don't push him, But you defo need your oh on your side with this then its not going to look like the "wkd stepmum" thing to his ex. He is going to need to put his son to bed too & then his son wont go home saying " she did this " making you out to be the bad one, Where as if its dad its kinda diff if ya get me.

    Why not get your stepson on your side hun, Treat him & tell him how big he is now & that he would be so grown up without nappies & a dummy. Maybe agree to do a swap dummy for a day out or toy etc.

    If i was in your situ i wouldn't mention it to his mum, What if she said no? You can't exactly go against her words. Thing is whilst he is at your house he needs to go by yours & his dads rules not his mums as such. So personally i would get him on my side & praise him, Then maybe a quiet chat with him about it & maybe just try it one night, Make him wee before bed, Stop drinks from a certain time & tell him most importantly if he has an accident that it is ok & to tell you & you wont be mad.
    I'm sure from that 1st dry night he will be so proud of himself he may go home WANTING to be nappyless.

    Poor lad, i defo think you may need to make the 1st move here hun. Go for it !!

    Good luck xxxxx

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