Some reasurrance needed please girls xxx

Discussion in 'Baby Club' started by Brockie, Apr 11, 2009.

  1. Brockie

    Brockie Well-Known Member

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    hi ladies hope everyone is getting on well being mummy xx

    this may sound trivial to some but im having a real wobble at the moment x

    i have b-fed Fred since birth and we both got on well with it after a difficult couple weeks to start! he looks great and has put on weight well ( he is over a stone now) x i have really enjoyed feeding and so glad i presevered x

    thing is i really feel like i want to move onto bottles for majority if not all his feeds now, i started giving him a bottle of formula as bedtime feed a couple weeks back and he downs it and sleeps through so no probs there x

    the problem is me, in my head and its driving me mad! i feel guilty thinking about moving to formula and i dont know why, i know there is nothing wrong with it and he will take it, i just feel like crying when i think of it xx i feel ready myself to move on to bottles, b-feeding him seems to be draining my energy last few weeks and i like giving him a bottle so whats my problem?:hissy:

    my OH doesn't understand when i try and explain how i feel, i don't blame him i suppose as i don't understand myself why i feel like this? x

    sorry if this is rambled i just wish i could escape this feeling of guilt, any advice be much appreciated xxxx
     
  2. babezone

    babezone Well-Known Member

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    i dont brestfeed hun so i cant fully understand what its like hun...but i imagine u get this enourmous bond that u feel u mayb missing once breat feeding stops.....like he doesnt need u any more. if it is that then dont feel like that hun cus he still needs you just in a different way...sorry i cant b more help xxx hope u feel better soon xxx :hugs:
     
  3. XKatX

    XKatX Well-Known Member

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    How is your diet hun? If you aren't eating healthily and not drinking enough, then perhaps this is why you feel so drained and emotional? Do you have any support network anywhere? Family, friends, anyone you know who may understand where you are coming from? Maybe just talking to someone face to face may be enough for you to sort your head out and find out what you want. It sounds like a very difficult place to be - stuck between a rock and a hard place! If you decide to FF, then go for it. You won't be harming your baby in any way. The only thing I have to say is - make sure it's what our really want before you make the transition. It's a very difficult thing to go back to if you think you've made the wrong decision later. Perhaps you could contact your HV or GP to find the local support groups.
    I do hope you find an answer that makes you both happy babes x x :hug:
     
  4. alexaliff

    alexaliff Mummy to George

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    Hi Brockie! I don't know if I will be very reassuring but I wanted you to know that I feel the same way and I'm sure others do too. I had to stop breastfeeding after 6 weeks but I was determined to keep giving him breastmilk so I express and give it to him in a bottle. The only thing is that my milk supply isn't *brilliant* and he is needing more and more and I can't keep up anymore! It seems like I spend half my life pumping and the other half feeding him but like you I feel guilty at the thought of putting him on formula.

    I don't know...I think that it's the way that it is pushed onto us that makes us feel guilty to want to stop. My health visitor wouldnt even reccommend any bottles or formula to me even though it was definitely in my babies best interest for me to stop breastfeeding him because I got depressed and wasn't bonding with him. Only you know what is best for you and your baby and you don't need to feel guilty for that. If only could follow my own advise : )
     
  5. alio

    alio Well-Known Member

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    Brockie,

    My advice.... Do what makes you feel happy... I breastfed for the first couple of weeks.... Then I stopped because it made me feel really trapped... I stick at most things but wasn't prepared to continue feeling the way I did. I promise you, since I got over the guilt (which is usually foisted on you by other people) I felt genuinely released.

    If people were used to hearing the phrase 'Bottle is Best' over and over again then I'm sure this wouldn't even be an issue to you.

    I've said it a million times and don't want to sound like I'm bragging by my HV commented that Finlay was the brightest baby she had seen. Obviously formula does not affect him in anyway. Be positive, embrace your decision and think of the positives of giving the bottle (there are many but I won't repeat them on here for fear of being shot down).

    I really hope you feel better soon.

    All I'm saying is once you've been doing it for a while and get behind your decision you'll see how it feels.

    xxxxxx
     
  6. caggimedicine

    caggimedicine Mummy to Harry

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    When Harry was 3 weeks old, he had a few nights on the run where he just was not sleeping and was constantly wanting to BFd. I was so exhausted and my husband suggested we introduce a bottle of FF so that he could feed Harry so that I could have some sleep. I felt SO guilty about even considering it - I felt that it was not in Harry's best interest and that we were being selfish etc etc. Eventually I let hubby give Harry a bottle - I went to bed though when he did it and tried not to think about it. I was relieved to hear from hubby the next day that Harry had happily taken the bottle without any problems, and I felt much better for having a few hours sleep.

    At the moment, we're trying to wean Harry off the boob and onto FF during the day. Harry still has boob in the morning and before bed time, but he'll be going to nursery in June and I don't think i'll be able to express, so want him on FF. He's definitely making me feel guilty about it some days, and goes on hunger strike. I do feel better about giving him a bottle now than I initially did though.
     
  7. Shri

    Shri Well-Known Member

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    Women are under far too much pressure these days. You've given your LO a far longer stint with bfing than the american national average which is six weeks. No harm will come from switching to a bottle. Perhaps you could start the transition slowly swapping one feed for a bottle per week. That way it won't seem such a drastic change and will be easier on you hormonally as many women get blue when stopping bfing due to the hormones adjusting. Your LO knows you love him and you are giving him the best of you which includes a happy rested mummy.

    There is absolutely nothing wrong in switching to formula. If it helps you feel better in yourself it is better for your whole family. I think we are made to take it all to heart too much with a lot of guilt tripping in the media. I do understand yor feelings though. I hope you find some peace about it all no matter what you decide.

    Hugs
     
  8. Tiff

    Tiff LIKE A BOSS

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    I was only able to BF for 3 weeks. After that I just couldn't do it anymore. You've done amazing to keep it up for this long. I can relate, I cried and cried when I gave Claire her first bottle of formula. I felt like I was a total failure as a mother as I couldn't do "the most natural thing in the world"

    Basically Freddie needs you to be happy. So if bottle feeding is what will make you happy, go for it. But like Kat mentioned you could always check your diet or contact some BF support groups to see if they could get you over this hump.

    At the end of the day, your happiness and well being is what is important. You arn't a failure if you decide to go with a bottle. Do what's best for you. :hugs:
     
  9. ryder

    ryder Mum to Jasmine & Peyton

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    I tried bfing and it didnt work out at the time, so I switched to formula. I dont really feel guilty because at the time it wasnt something I could do for vaious reasons... I do feel that I wish the situation had been different, kind of like you.

    You never know, he may just be going through a growth spurt, you may not be eating enough calories to give yourslef enough energy, alot of it is trial and error.

    In the end, you need to feel happy with you decision.
     
  10. Brockie

    Brockie Well-Known Member

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    thankyou so much for taking time to reply girls xx each one offered great advice i love this forum xxx

    well yesterday i dropped my lunchtime feed to see how we got on, had to express a bit off after tho as boobs too full, still undecided but think i need to stop thinking so much! its my worst habit xxx

    my diet is pretty good tho i could prob eat more even tho i feel like i dont stop eating! ahhh i dont know wish someone could make the decision for me x:hug:
     
  11. claire-lou

    claire-lou Jack & Martha's Mummy

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    Sorry that you feel like this Hun. :hugs:

    I only managed two weeks with Jack, he was such a hungry little thing I just could not produce enough milk. I cried for days after I'd made the decision and still do when i think about it. I too feel guilty and like a failure as a mummy as i couldn't give him what was best.

    However i now have a very content little boy who is happily gaining weight. I also wished that somebody could make that decision for me and take away the feeling of being inadequate in some way.

    My mum saw what a state I was getting myself into and suggested baby massage as a way of gaining back the skin to skin I was desperately craving to help maintain our bond. I tried this and love it and also make a point of laying him onto my tummy in just his nappy for 30 mins on an evening which he also seems to quite enjoy and I love

    Being a mum is a real rollercoaster of emotions :muaha: and i really hope that you find a decision that is right for you. :hugs::hugs:
     

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