Someone once said to me......

[Pippin]

That most women you meet will have a sad baby story to tell.....

I didn't realise now just how true that was until now. I'm overwhelmed by peoples kindness, by how honest people are when you are with them and just how important it is to have those people close by.

I also didn't realise until now what role a man had to play in all this (yes ladies I know THAT role ) for example my husband and closest male friend found it very important not only to say sorry but to more importantly make me laugh again. Odd you may think, but seriously it's helped me more tonight than I can tell you. I understand why opposites attract now, they provide that something you weren't expecting.

Just needed to say that. xxx

 

[lilwelsh1]

Its true, I cant believe how many women in my own family have come forward and told their stories, I had no idea. I feel closer to them now more than ever.

Im glad u have such good people in your life

 

[ncmommy]

For me, I shared my first mc with those around me and was shocked that I was alone. That was hard so we have not told friends or family about the past 2 losses. But finding this support forum has showed me that I am not alone and I find great comfort in knowing that as I have felt alone for so long. My husband has been great during all our losses but sometimes it is nice to have other women to talk to.

Sometimes laughter really is the best medicine!

 

[Starry Night]

Thanks for sharing. It's nice to have a more upbeat thread around here. My DH has been very helpful in cheering me up. He's naturally more positive and optimistic while I'm naturally more jaded and pessimistic.

And yeah, the stories of miscarriages and stillbirths came pouring out from my colleagues when I first went through the miscarriage. So most people know what I'm going through and have minimized my exposure to the "what not to say" comments.

 

[tj1980]

I've only shared with my sisters, best friend. My husband has been a pillar of support for me x

 

[babysimpson]

pippin, my man and our best mate who is male have been fantastic in helping me. I was so tired and drained last night that when I was putting dishes away I dropped a glass and it shattered all over the place. The two of them came running into the kitchen, told me to stay where I was and they cleaned up the mess for me. My man couldn't do any more for me than he has been and he's been such a comfort when I need it but also has me smiling and laughing. He seems to know exactly when to make me laugh or to just hold me.

 

[SassyLou]

That was so touching.
After reading, I'm crying!
Truly lovely.
xxx

 

[Emmea12uk]

It is true about my dh too. I realised yesturday what I missed when ds was diagnosed at 20 wk gest with spina bifida. He was away during and for three montgs after and I had to tell him over the phone.

This time he was close and came home and it seems easier with him here. He too is cracking the jokes and hugging me lots. I don't feel alone this time.

As for the stories - I have none. My mother in law had an mc but it was an ethical loss and she won't talk about it

But I have dh and my families support, and that of you guys here. Thank you cxx

 

[Pippin]

I also find it good that men can be a bit more logical sometimes, makes me see the other side to things apart from the grief. I know the sticky thread in here says what not to say but actually I have found comfort in some of those things. Might just be me and my situation is different to many as there was never a heartbeat.

I'm glad lots of other husbands are doing their best to support us too. It gives me faith we can all get through this.

 

[Boothh]

it is true, so many people have told me they have had mcs etc when i told them about mine, i suppose its not something people talk about normally is it,
and it is great you have such a supportive OH to keep you strong,
thinking of you sweet xxxxxxxxx

 

[moochacha]

I had a thought about this today and decided that I'm not going to hide my M/C's from friends and family anymore. Not that I hid them anyway up I'm going to talk openly about then instead of thinking about my miscarriages and negative events that are bad and shouldn't be spoken about openly.

DH and I have had 3 MC's this year and everyone else in the family is happy to talk about new born babies and put us through all the cute little pictures and stories then we have an equal right to talk about our TTC journey and subsequently our M/C's.

 

[Pippin]

I've told many people about mine even people that didn't know I was pregnant. I find hiding things worse than being able to have a cry and talk about it. Why should we hide it I totally agree. I find it helps me make it real.

 

[animalcracker]

I had a thought about this today and decided that I'm not going to hide my M/C's from friends and family anymore. Not that I hid them anyway up I'm going to talk openly about then instead of thinking about my miscarriages and negative events that are bad and shouldn't be spoken about openly.

DH and I have had 3 MC's this year and everyone else in the family is happy to talk about new born babies and put us through all the cute little pictures and stories then we have an equal right to talk about our TTC journey and subsequently our M/C's.

I couldn't agree with you more.

It is so sad that something so tragic seems so taboo to talk about. As others in this thread have said, no one knows the loss many women have gone through until they have heard your story. Why do women not talk about this more out in the open?