son does not want to stay with grandparents while in hospital

bbn2

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kinda need some advice ladies. My son is 6 years old and is suppose to be dropped off at grandparents(my parents) on Friday to spend the nite before I go in for cervadill. Just even telling him this he tears up and sais he does not want to stay all nite. I am torn on what to do cuase if he is upset then I will be worried all nite about him and if he comes with us to the hospital than DH will have to tend to him and won't be able to be with me if I have bad contractions. I'm suppose to have cervadill on friday nite and pitocin on saturday so i figure maybe him and dh could just come home and sleep while cervadill is doing it's thing. Not sure what to do. I don't want to force him to stay all nite when he misses home. We don't have anyone else to watch him. I am also torn on what to tell my parents so they are not offended.
 
Promise him something nice if he stays and behaves, I have a 6 year old going to my OH's parents and told him Santa will be watching, its not a case of if he want to or not, he HAS to go, you need OH to be with you and a night away will not harm him!

Tell him where you will be and explain he cannot be there with you because he needs to be in bed sleeping! you will phone before he goes to bed and as soon as baby is here he can come see you or you will be home with him again, there's nothing else you can do!
 
Could your parents come and look after him at your house??? Then he'll be in his own home xx
 
sleepbaby: I did promise him something and told him we would have a suprise for him once he got to the hospital the next day and that he had to stay and he still is throwing a fit and crying about it. I guess we just have to suck up and he'll have to cry even though I hate it.

3rdtimearound: My mom would not be up to that I already know, but thanks for the suggestion :)

It's just stressful and dh does not want to force him to stay.
 
Its not easy having the little ones cry but they cant run your life, sometimes they have to do stuff they don't want to but its part of life.

The only other option you have is for OH to be staying at home and maybe missing baby's birth because your 6 year old threw a tantrum?

I sound like a hard hearted monster but honestly it will do no lasting harm to tell him he has no choice in the matter, he HAS to stay there as there is no other option x
 
I'd have him stay with grandparents even if he's upset about it. Give him lots of things to take with to occupy him or play with and when he's sleeping he'll have forgotten all about it. He's only 6 so he doesn't know what is best but you are the parent so you can assert yourself. He'll get over it. :)
 
Aww im sure once your son is at his nannys he will be fine.
 
i'm sure the initial going there he'll kick up a fuss but once he's there and his grandparents spoil him (like grandparents do!) he'll soon forget about the fight he put up to go there. It's only one night and it's not really an option to do otherwise at the end of the day is it? he has to go somewhere.
 
He likely feels left out and thinks he will be missing something. He has no choice he has to go. But understandably he is thinking like a kid does and thinks you and DH are off to do something and don't want him there. Explain to him that kids are not allowed to be there and that his job as big brother is to stay with Grandma. Perhaps have your mom take him out shopping just before he comes to see the baby...give him a list of items you need him as the big brother to buy for you and bring them to the hospital.

He is going to cry no matter what when you drop him off...you know he will be fine and within two minutes will stop and have a grand time while you are gone. As for your DH what is he going to do when DS doesn't want to do his homework, or clean his room or wants to stay home from school once the baby is born. Its out job as parents to make sure that we do whats best for them...and yep the sometimes means making them do things they don't want to do.
 
Is this his first sleep over at their place? I would make him go anyway. He is safe so there is nothing to worry about. He is 6, and should be able to deal with a night away from you especially since it's at his grandparents.
 
Personally if my daughter didnt want to spend the night at my parents while im in labour she simply wouldnt. I would never put one child through stress and upset all for another child... thats not fair.. thats not me xx
My partner would sit with her in the waiting room if he had to xx
 
That's tough! Only thing I could see maybe ask your parents or just one of them to just stay one night at your house.
I personally would be worried sick if I made my DS and DD go without wanting to all upset.
I'm having a hard time trying to figure out what they will be doing or who they will be with while I deliver the baby. I know i plan to send them home with DH every night to sleep and everything because they would rather be home and I would rather know they are home with DH in their own bed, at least to try and make it as normal as possible for them. My grandma offered to sit in the waiting room with DS and DD while i actually push but relying on her is hard because she takes so long to do anything it would be ,y luck she wouldn't make it in time. So I'm really trying to figure something else out but it's so hard without knowing if it will be night or day, week or weekend. I completely trust my uncle and i know the kids would be happy with him and his gf but they work during the week and wouldn't be able to take off if I needed them in the middle of the night or something. So i dont know what to do myself.

But I hope you figure something out. GL
 
I don't think I'd change the plan at this point if only because you've already told him the plan and so you'd be responding to his upset and his upset, while understandable, isn't grounded in anything. This isn't going to be unpleasant for him. It's not at all unfair. It's not that the new baby is being prioritised, it is nothing like that, it's just REALITY! You need your partner there with you and a clear head to get through birth. Plus I don't think I'd want to teach my 6 year old that throwing some tears out there gets him his way. It would, IMO, be different if you had genuinely asked him where he wanted to be during that time and he chose to not go but that doesn't sound like how this went.

I'd say find a way to dress it up in some fun stuff (a special book he gets to read with grammy or a craft kit he can make for baby when he gets there). Not to bribe him, really, just to make it more exciting than going to the grown up place.
 
wow thanks for the responses. This is not the first time he is staying with his grandparents. Last time he went to stay all nite for fun and he did not want to and ended up getting a call to come and get him.

usually when he throws a fit he does not get his way normally, but this has me emotional some what. I know i'm gonna stress the whole time he is there. Hopefully like other people say he will be fine once he gets there, but its usually at nite he misses home.
 
This might sound obvious but have you asked him seriously why he doesn't like it.

I talk to my son like an adult and when he was throwing a fit at 4 not wanting to go to day care i sat down with him and asked why? He said he wanted to stay with me and he thought me going to work was because i didn't want to spend time with him. I explained the need for me to work, being a single mom and that had it not been for the fact that we need the money i would be with him all the time. He understood it and the next time i dropped him off he waved and walked in okay - never cried again, i was the one left crying in the car.

Kids just don't see things the way we do and maybe you just need to reassure him that this is necessary and that you would want to have him there but the hospital is not suitable for him and he would be safer/better with the his grandparents.
 
blu yes we have discussed it several times and I just plain asked him why and he always sais he misses mom and dad. I agree with you about setting down and talking to them like an adult. It works wonders sometimes. We will probably have a grown up chat about it when we have our late evening chat about our days.

It's not a situation where he is usually fine at my parents house and he just does not want to stay this time. He just genuinely does not like to stay all nite with them only visit.
 
blu yes we have discussed it several times and I just plain asked him why and he always sais he misses mom and dad. I agree with you about setting down and talking to them like an adult. It works wonders sometimes. We will probably have a grown up chat about it when we have our late evening chat about our days.

It's not a situation where he is usually fine at my parents house and he just does not want to stay this time. He just genuinely does not like to stay all nite with them only visit.

Is it something that happens at night time? Do your parents follow the same routine as you do at home...does he have a light on at home and they turn out all lights? Does he have lots of bathroom trips and he is afraid of wetting the bed at grandmas?

Have you thought of maybe spending the night with him at your parents the night before he spends the night alone there...it might help him see that there is nothing to be afraid of.
 
blu yes we have discussed it several times and I just plain asked him why and he always sais he misses mom and dad. I agree with you about setting down and talking to them like an adult. It works wonders sometimes. We will probably have a grown up chat about it when we have our late evening chat about our days.

It's not a situation where he is usually fine at my parents house and he just does not want to stay this time. He just genuinely does not like to stay all nite with them only visit.

Is it something that happens at night time? Do your parents follow the same routine as you do at home...does he have a light on at home and they turn out all lights? Does he have lots of bathroom trips and he is afraid of wetting the bed at grandmas?

Have you thought of maybe spending the night with him at your parents the night before he spends the night alone there...it might help him see that there is nothing to be afraid of.

That sounds like a great idea.
 
Staying the night with him before the big day does sound like a great idea. Also, I would let him take a t-shirt or a pillow that belong to Mom or Dad so he has something to snuggle with at night that smells like home. Definately have them try to follow the same routine that he has at home. When my daughter would spend the night at her Nana's house she would get teary and my Mom would just end up letting her sleep in the bed with her. Could you skype with him on the computer before he goes to bed and maybe let him pick a fave movie to watch and take lots of lovies with him and his own blanket and pillow.
It is always hard to leave a little one even at the grandparents when you know they are crying for you. It just breaks your heart. Hope things work out.
 
wispy, I do plan on letting him take his special teddy and mom or dads pillow and blankie. When he was smaller like 4 i stayed a couple times with him and he has stayed maybe 2 times on his own. I think me staying with him the nite before will just make it worse honestly. Thanks for the suggestions. We can't skype, but we plan on calling before bed time.
 

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