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Soooo frustrated!!!

You don't temp correct? Wait a couple of days before testing again...
 
No I don't temp but have an app that have showed me my cycles are at about 26 day cycles since January, so it showed me ovulation at April 20 but I noticed Ewcm and watery feeling way before that and thought I might have ovulated around the 18? Of course I might be totally wrong because I don't temp:blush: And we had sex the nigth going into the 18 so one time only reduced my chances of having a little bean. But this is hard, I had the clearblue a tad darker and now nothing..... sigh.... I don't know how you ladies do this... And on top of that, hubby now is not so into making one more, he is hesitant because he worries about all the financial stuff.... I don't blame him, I really get it.... but my heart wants one more before I get to old....
 
Personally I think it's important you're both on the same page. Hopefully he comes around. I didn't temp at first but now I'm hooked. Its really helped me understand my cycles and I think that's really important. I used to be very irregular so even though It's a lot better it still changes by a couple days depending on when I ovulate. I have 3 dif apps and they all predict different days...we'll they did til I started temping.
And hey all you need is once for a bfp. Fx
 
Thanks Nigthfire for kind words :winkwink: It's hard when my husband is not a 100% on board on this.... I just want one last one��
There is a story behind all this but I rather not talk about at this point... it's to painful...:cry:
My bleeding has subsided a lot from this early afternoon? I usually have Af for 2-3 days, this is weird..... or maybe I'm in menopause... sigh... I know probably not just trying to find answers which I can't find yet...
 
Thanks Nigthfire for kind words :winkwink: It's hard when my husband is not a 100% on board on this.... I just want one last one��
There is a story behind all this but I rather not talk about at this point... it's to painful...:cry:
My bleeding has subsided a lot from this early afternoon? I usually have Af for 2-3 days, this is weird..... or maybe I'm in menopause... sigh... I know probably not just trying to find answers which I can't find yet...

I'm so sorry, Stargazer. I'm also here if you want to talk. Hugs. :hugs:
 
Awwww thank you so much Nigthfire and Ask4joy:hugs:
Maybe ill psyc myself up to tell you my story, but I got to warn you, Kleenex need to be on standby....
 
I'm always here to talk too star :) always good to have a good group of ladies around you like you have here :) x
 
I will tell you my story tomorrow 💜 I got to get my son's to school and I will sit down and write to you:winkwink:
 
Okay so this is going to be a little long story so bare with me:winkwink:
I'm gonna tell my story how we ended up in the state and started living here in beautiful Ohio�� I will start from the beginning when I got pregnant with my first child.

It was 2002 I was 20 years old and had been with my then boyfriend and father to my first child since we were 15. I had just started school to become a nurse later and found out 2 months after school started that I was expecting for the first time. I was scared but I knew I could do this task as I felt ready to become a mother. My boyfriend wasn't so excited in the beginning, he was scared and shocked and didn't speak to me for over two weeks. We talked things through and I told him I would not even consider abortion because when I was 17 we got pregnant and we were so young that back then I decided to do the abortion.. he went along and supported me on my decision. As months went by he became excited too and we were happy. Our daughter was born in July 2003 and I was so happy. When my daughter was about 10 months my boyfriend told me he didn't want to stay with us anymore, he wasn't ready to be a father? Yeah I was devastated but I told him go ahead ill manage on my own and so I did.
I had a short relationship with another guy after that and became pregnant with my oldest son and he was born July 2005. I ended that relationship because he was stealing money at his job and I didn't want him to drag me into a life in dept and lies, especially when I don't as expecting his child. Again I was a single mother and my kids was everything to me and we managed our life pretty good alone. I had family and friends around me for support so I felt happy and lucky.
But I couldn't help feeling that someone was missing in my life?
2007 came along and I met the love of my life, my soul mate, my best friend my future husband. When we met through friends he had just signed a 6 months contract with the Norwegian air force were he would work as a F-16 mechanic and Crew-chief for the F-16's on our military base. When we met he had just ended a long term relationship with his former girlfriend and his plans was to earn enough money to buy his dream car and go back home to New York City after contract was over. That didn't happen because we fell deeply in love and he wanted to start a family with me and my oldest kids�� Everything went very fast but I felt a happiness that I thought I would never feel again! I never thought someone would fall in love with a single mom with two kids from two different fathers! But it happened and I was happy and madly in love. And he treated my oldest kids as his own��
So with my daughter's father out of the picture because he didn't want to commit to the father task and my son's father Always making promises that he wanted to be in my son's life, but never did, my future husband to be promised me to take care of me and the kids and never let go.. July 2007 we found out I was pregnant with my husband's first child, we were ecstatic, his contract got extended and we lived in a big military apartment and was ready to start our little family together. With all this happiness and our first child together, we had to deal with a lot of stress from my oldest kids dad's just being jealous and trying to make our life miserable. My daughters father also talked to me and wanted my husband to adopt my daughter because he was too overwhelmed with the thought of seeing his child. I was hurt and angry but I told him if that's what he wanted I would arrange this to happen. A lot of stuff from the fathers came up and 2010 I gave birth to our second son and life was good! We had 4 beautiful children running around in our house and I loved my life, cooking, cleaning, spending time with each and everyone of them��
Early 2011 after a lot of talking back and forth with our bank we got approved for our first house loan and we bought our first home together 30 minutes outside of my city, little did we know that our life's was about to change forever....

From before me and my husband had been dealing with a lot of anger and jealousy from my oldest kids fathers but we tried to live our life's despite all that. A lot of this anger from them was because of child support they had to pay me and they had to but they didn't want to.

We moved in early May 2011 and my oldest daughter wanted to live with her dad so she could continue staying in her school where we moved from and to play with her friends, I said I was fine with her decision and that I was going to make a deal with her dad so she could come home to me every other weekend to stay with us.
Okay so a little background of my husband, his parents are from Mexico and Costa Rica and they both came to New York in the late 1960's , they came legally and started their life and had 3 sons. My husband's mom died of cancer when him and his twin brother were 3 years old, their older brother is 7 years older than them. My husband was born and raised in New York.
Sorry if it's not too chronological in my story here....

Okay so one week after we moved in I was visiting a good friend in the city with my two youngest sons, my two oldest was in school and daycare. I suddenly get a phone call from the Child service protection were they say they need to see me asap! I was confused and didn't know what was going on.... I called my husband and he came over right away because he had gotten a phone call saying he needed to contact a lawyer? We were like question marks both of us. The Child service showed up on my friends door step and demanded me and my sons to get in their car. I was scared and confused.... We arrive at their office, I sit down and they tell me that my husband is being prosecuted for abuse on all of us, me our kids!! I started crying and got angry and I said this is not true!! He would never hurt us!! I ask where this came from and they told me that my oldest kids fathers both had called in and said my husband was abusive and keep us isolated:shrug: I was in shock and I couldn't get out of there so they kept me there for hours, interrogated me and told me that if I didn't willingly go to question safe house with our kids they would take all our kids away from us..... she said they had foster care families on stand by to take them. I was so lost and scared but I went along being put away even if I knew this was false accusations about my husband. I didn't want anything to happen to our kids!! They would split them up and go separate ways....:cry: I was escorted to the safe house and I didn't get to talk to my husband until late that night on the phone.... I remember sitting in a little room, my youngest one was sleeping with next to me, earlier that night I had to sing my other two sons to sleep because they were confused and didn't understand why we couldn't go home to our new house we just bought...
Me and hubby talked for hours that nigth, we cried together over the phone and he said just stay were you are because I don't want the Child service to take any of the kids away, we will figure this out with our lawyers that we were represented earlier that day.
Me and the kids ended up having to stay at the safe house for nearly a week while the lawyers were scratching their heads to figure out how the hell this could happen? My husband didn't do anything wrong and now we had to fight to survive because of false accusations had been made out of jealousy.... We had meetings after meetings with our lawyers and Child service and we tried to explain the lack of interest and the anger these fathers have had towards us but they didn't want to listen.
Now here is an important fact about our whole situation. Norway take in a lot of war refugees each year, they give them government money and is put in asylums packed like sardines. They live there for years and years not knowing if they get to stay or not. A lot of Norwegian citizens get angry for the way the government does things and a lot of tax money goes to pay these refugees each year. Now that being said, Norway is not as multi cultural as like here in the states where you have all kinds of culture and people from different nationalities. In Norway they see a black guy and they think :" this guy is either a terrorist or a wife beater", it's sad when we are in 2016 and my own people over there could be so naive, arrogant and racist not even knowing people's background!!!??
Because of what I just explained it will probably make more sense what I'm about to say....
Our lawyers were saying there were no proof of abuse but that these dads had accused my husband in anger and jealousy and conspiracy made this look like my husband was a wife and kid beater.
They also knew from information from the dad's that my husband was Mexican, I like to call it Latino but first and foremost he is an American and putting him in a category as a Mexican was racist and because all they know or think that all Mexicans are wife beaters and don't work, they assumed my husband was like this too..... I'm embarrassed by the way my country's way of thinking!!!!
If they only knew my husband's background! He had a military background got his mechanical degree while serving in the military, he served in Iraq figthing for freedom, he did something with his life!!! They weren't interested listening to any of that, not even interested talking to him when we had to go to court and fight for his rights and for our kids!!
For two months my husband had to live on base, away from our new house and away from our kids... The figthing back and forth with the Child service kept on and on, July 2011 they agreed on let him come back home only if they could do home visits whenever they wanted to! Again we agreed for our kids well being and safety. September came and I had to go to court and fight for my oldest son, my son's dad wanted full custody of him at this point. I won in court also because the judge found out that he was sitting in court lying about me. And even that I won was not enough evidence for cleaning my husband's reputation!! We finally saw some lights in the tunnel, we won the case, we had all 3 sons at home, my hubby got to stay with us.
We started to feel like a family again.... so we thought....
November 2011 I had a voicemail on my phone from CS saying they went to the school to talk to my son. I didn't think much of it right then and there.... later that afternoon we went to do our shopping for the week and as we got in our car to go home my lawyer calls me and tells me the Child service is going to take my oldest son away!!!???
We were in shock... instead of going home we drove to my mom's house because we were so scared.... two hours in my mom's house they came banging on the door and demanded my son handed over!
They had brought the police in case I turned violent.... I'm not the person of hurting anyone, my son cried his eyes out, I cried ,my husband cried. I told my son to do as the lady said and I was gonna talk to our nice lawyers right away and I was gonna get him back!! After my son was forced out of our hands we both broke down on my mom's floor....
Weeks went by and we were in and out of court and no one would listen or care.. Months before this all happened my husband had ordered tickets for a vacation for all of us to London before Christmas, I wanted to cancel the whole vacation but we talked about it and thought we could need a little get away after all we had been through... Hubby told me let's go and try to relax a little so we have strength to fight more when we come back. I thought it was a good idea.
Our lawyers were working very close with us, they were honest and always told us if something were up. So two days before our vacation they tell us that something doesn't seem right about the lady at the Child service, they strongly believe they are planning to take our two youngest sons away too....
We were in panicked mode, we were looking around in our new house, looked at each other, looked at our two sons and we didn't say a word but I understood what my husband was thinking, and I thought the same..... We had to escape with our only two kids we had left..:cry:
The Child service knew we had a vacation coming up in two days and our lawyers informed them that we would be back in the end of November. They also informed us that we would have a meeting with them after we came home from London.
We hardly slept those two nights, my hubby stayed up talking to his parents, his brother telling them what was gonna happen....
We couldn't live here anymore and we new that the only thing we could bring with us was suitcases with our clothes. While hubby spoke to his parents I was on the phone with my mom telling her our plan to escape, she supported us a 100% and was going to help us getting to the airport and later on help us with all the work getting our house sold and everything in it...
We were scared felt lost but we knew that if we didn't do this know our kids would be lost forever. Norway is known for having Child services doing this to countless of families all over Norway, 80% of the time it's accusations with no evidence at all but since the Child service have almost more power than the police have over there they could do whatever they want, when they want....
We needed to get away from the claws of the devil!!
We said our goodbyes at the airport, I was constantly wiping my tears because I knew I couldn't say goodbye to my oldest children and explain because I knew we would have the Child service after us if I contacted my kids....
I felt numb and so lost..... We got to London, we tried to enjoy the "vacation" for our boys sake, but when they fell asleep me and hubby was just holding each other and cried.....
After our 4 day vacation we left from London straight to New York. We got to stay with my brother in law for 4 months, my husband was with no work and everyday he sent out work applications to try to get a job, finally after 4 months of sweat and tears he got a job interview in Ohio and he got the job!!
We moved here in March 2012, started a new life... Despite what have happened back home we were determined to start over, buy everything over again, furniture, toys for the boys everything had to be bought all over.... But we did it!! Bit by bit each month we bought new stuff, I remember we lived with no couch for months before we could afford one. But we had each other!!!�� And I found out I was pregnant with our 3 son in early May 2012 right after we moved.

I have a lot of days where I'm very sad and cry a lot because I don't see my older kids... but I had to make a very though choice back then. I knew my older son and daughter lived with their dad's but I also knew if we didn't escape we would lose two more kids, and I knew I couldn't live with that, I wouldn't be here today if that was the outcome.....:cry:
I have contact with my older kids via Skype and they are getting older now. And one day we will be reunited I know we will��
When they are old enough they will come visit and that will be the day my heart will feel complete again!!

This is also a reason why I think I want this last baby so bad..... I lost my two oldest kids, not lost as in dead but I lost them as in not getting to see them grow up, being there for them in sad times or good times�� Comfort them when they need their mommie...

I'm sorry it took a little long to write this, it was very long but I had to take breaks writing because I couldn't hold my tears back... yes I have half a box of Kleenex left....

I try to live my days as it's my last, because you never know what tomorrow will bring��
This is my life but I will live it to the fullest!!
 
Okay so this is going to be a little long story so bare with me:winkwink:
I'm gonna tell my story how we ended up in the state and started living here in beautiful Ohio�� I will start from the beginning when I got pregnant with my first child.

It was 2002 I was 20 years old and had been with my then boyfriend and father to my first child since we were 15. I had just started school to become a nurse later and found out 2 months after school started that I was expecting for the first time. I was scared but I knew I could do this task as I felt ready to become a mother. My boyfriend wasn't so excited in the beginning, he was scared and shocked and didn't speak to me for over two weeks. We talked things through and I told him I would not even consider abortion because when I was 17 we got pregnant and we were so young that back then I decided to do the abortion.. he went along and supported me on my decision. As months went by he became excited too and we were happy. Our daughter was born in July 2003 and I was so happy. When my daughter was about 10 months my boyfriend told me he didn't want to stay with us anymore, he wasn't ready to be a father? Yeah I was devastated but I told him go ahead ill manage on my own and so I did.
I had a short relationship with another guy after that and became pregnant with my oldest son and he was born July 2005. I ended that relationship because he was stealing money at his job and I didn't want him to drag me into a life in dept and lies, especially when I don't as expecting his child. Again I was a single mother and my kids was everything to me and we managed our life pretty good alone. I had family and friends around me for support so I felt happy and lucky.
But I couldn't help feeling that someone was missing in my life?
2007 came along and I met the love of my life, my soul mate, my best friend my future husband. When we met through friends he had just signed a 6 months contract with the Norwegian air force were he would work as a F-16 mechanic and Crew-chief for the F-16's on our military base. When we met he had just ended a long term relationship with his former girlfriend and his plans was to earn enough money to buy his dream car and go back home to New York City after contract was over. That didn't happen because we fell deeply in love and he wanted to start a family with me and my oldest kids�� Everything went very fast but I felt a happiness that I thought I would never feel again! I never thought someone would fall in love with a single mom with two kids from two different fathers! But it happened and I was happy and madly in love. And he treated my oldest kids as his own��
So with my daughter's father out of the picture because he didn't want to commit to the father task and my son's father Always making promises that he wanted to be in my son's life, but never did, my future husband to be promised me to take care of me and the kids and never let go.. July 2007 we found out I was pregnant with my husband's first child, we were ecstatic, his contract got extended and we lived in a big military apartment and was ready to start our little family together. With all this happiness and our first child together, we had to deal with a lot of stress from my oldest kids dad's just being jealous and trying to make our life miserable. My daughters father also talked to me and wanted my husband to adopt my daughter because he was too overwhelmed with the thought of seeing his child. I was hurt and angry but I told him if that's what he wanted I would arrange this to happen. A lot of stuff from the fathers came up and 2010 I gave birth to our second son and life was good! We had 4 beautiful children running around in our house and I loved my life, cooking, cleaning, spending time with each and everyone of them��
Early 2011 after a lot of talking back and forth with our bank we got approved for our first house loan and we bought our first home together 30 minutes outside of my city, little did we know that our life's was about to change forever....

From before me and my husband had been dealing with a lot of anger and jealousy from my oldest kids fathers but we tried to live our life's despite all that. A lot of this anger from them was because of child support they had to pay me and they had to but they didn't want to.

We moved in early May 2011 and my oldest daughter wanted to live with her dad so she could continue staying in her school where we moved from and to play with her friends, I said I was fine with her decision and that I was going to make a deal with her dad so she could come home to me every other weekend to stay with us.
Okay so a little background of my husband, his parents are from Mexico and Costa Rica and they both came to New York in the late 1960's , they came legally and started their life and had 3 sons. My husband's mom died of cancer when him and his twin brother were 3 years old, their older brother is 7 years older than them. My husband was born and raised in New York.
Sorry if it's not too chronological in my story here....

Okay so one week after we moved in I was visiting a good friend in the city with my two youngest sons, my two oldest was in school and daycare. I suddenly get a phone call from the Child service protection were they say they need to see me asap! I was confused and didn't know what was going on.... I called my husband and he came over right away because he had gotten a phone call saying he needed to contact a lawyer? We were like question marks both of us. The Child service showed up on my friends door step and demanded me and my sons to get in their car. I was scared and confused.... We arrive at their office, I sit down and they tell me that my husband is being prosecuted for abuse on all of us, me our kids!! I started crying and got angry and I said this is not true!! He would never hurt us!! I ask where this came from and they told me that my oldest kids fathers both had called in and said my husband was abusive and keep us isolated:shrug: I was in shock and I couldn't get out of there so they kept me there for hours, interrogated me and told me that if I didn't willingly go to question safe house with our kids they would take all our kids away from us..... she said they had foster care families on stand by to take them. I was so lost and scared but I went along being put away even if I knew this was false accusations about my husband. I didn't want anything to happen to our kids!! They would split them up and go separate ways....:cry: I was escorted to the safe house and I didn't get to talk to my husband until late that night on the phone.... I remember sitting in a little room, my youngest one was sleeping with next to me, earlier that night I had to sing my other two sons to sleep because they were confused and didn't understand why we couldn't go home to our new house we just bought...
Me and hubby talked for hours that nigth, we cried together over the phone and he said just stay were you are because I don't want the Child service to take any of the kids away, we will figure this out with our lawyers that we were represented earlier that day.
Me and the kids ended up having to stay at the safe house for nearly a week while the lawyers were scratching their heads to figure out how the hell this could happen? My husband didn't do anything wrong and now we had to fight to survive because of false accusations had been made out of jealousy.... We had meetings after meetings with our lawyers and Child service and we tried to explain the lack of interest and the anger these fathers have had towards us but they didn't want to listen.
Now here is an important fact about our whole situation. Norway take in a lot of war refugees each year, they give them government money and is put in asylums packed like sardines. They live there for years and years not knowing if they get to stay or not. A lot of Norwegian citizens get angry for the way the government does things and a lot of tax money goes to pay these refugees each year. Now that being said, Norway is not as multi cultural as like here in the states where you have all kinds of culture and people from different nationalities. In Norway they see a black guy and they think :" this guy is either a terrorist or a wife beater", it's sad when we are in 2016 and my own people over there could be so naive, arrogant and racist not even knowing people's background!!!??
Because of what I just explained it will probably make more sense what I'm about to say....
Our lawyers were saying there were no proof of abuse but that these dads had accused my husband in anger and jealousy and conspiracy made this look like my husband was a wife and kid beater.
They also knew from information from the dad's that my husband was Mexican, I like to call it Latino but first and foremost he is an American and putting him in a category as a Mexican was racist and because all they know or think that all Mexicans are wife beaters and don't work, they assumed my husband was like this too..... I'm embarrassed by the way my country's way of thinking!!!!
If they only knew my husband's background! He had a military background got his mechanical degree while serving in the military, he served in Iraq figthing for freedom, he did something with his life!!! They weren't interested listening to any of that, not even interested talking to him when we had to go to court and fight for his rights and for our kids!!
For two months my husband had to live on base, away from our new house and away from our kids... The figthing back and forth with the Child service kept on and on, July 2011 they agreed on let him come back home only if they could do home visits whenever they wanted to! Again we agreed for our kids well being and safety. September came and I had to go to court and fight for my oldest son, my son's dad wanted full custody of him at this point. I won in court also because the judge found out that he was sitting in court lying about me. And even that I won was not enough evidence for cleaning my husband's reputation!! We finally saw some lights in the tunnel, we won the case, we had all 3 sons at home, my hubby got to stay with us.
We started to feel like a family again.... so we thought....
November 2011 I had a voicemail on my phone from CS saying they went to the school to talk to my son. I didn't think much of it right then and there.... later that afternoon we went to do our shopping for the week and as we got in our car to go home my lawyer calls me and tells me the Child service is going to take my oldest son away!!!???
We were in shock... instead of going home we drove to my mom's house because we were so scared.... two hours in my mom's house they came banging on the door and demanded my son handed over!
They had brought the police in case I turned violent.... I'm not the person of hurting anyone, my son cried his eyes out, I cried ,my husband cried. I told my son to do as the lady said and I was gonna talk to our nice lawyers right away and I was gonna get him back!! After my son was forced out of our hands we both broke down on my mom's floor....
Weeks went by and we were in and out of court and no one would listen or care.. Months before this all happened my husband had ordered tickets for a vacation for all of us to London before Christmas, I wanted to cancel the whole vacation but we talked about it and thought we could need a little get away after all we had been through... Hubby told me let's go and try to relax a little so we have strength to fight more when we come back. I thought it was a good idea.
Our lawyers were working very close with us, they were honest and always told us if something were up. So two days before our vacation they tell us that something doesn't seem right about the lady at the Child service, they strongly believe they are planning to take our two youngest sons away too....
We were in panicked mode, we were looking around in our new house, looked at each other, looked at our two sons and we didn't say a word but I understood what my husband was thinking, and I thought the same..... We had to escape with our only two kids we had left..:cry:
The Child service knew we had a vacation coming up in two days and our lawyers informed them that we would be back in the end of November. They also informed us that we would have a meeting with them after we came home from London.
We hardly slept those two nights, my hubby stayed up talking to his parents, his brother telling them what was gonna happen....
We couldn't live here anymore and we new that the only thing we could bring with us was suitcases with our clothes. While hubby spoke to his parents I was on the phone with my mom telling her our plan to escape, she supported us a 100% and was going to help us getting to the airport and later on help us with all the work getting our house sold and everything in it...
We were scared felt lost but we knew that if we didn't do this know our kids would be lost forever. Norway is known for having Child services doing this to countless of families all over Norway, 80% of the time it's accusations with no evidence at all but since the Child service have almost more power than the police have over there they could do whatever they want, when they want....
We needed to get away from the claws of the devil!!
We said our goodbyes at the airport, I was constantly wiping my tears because I knew I couldn't say goodbye to my oldest children and explain because I knew we would have the Child service after us if I contacted my kids....
I felt numb and so lost..... We got to London, we tried to enjoy the "vacation" for our boys sake, but when they fell asleep me and hubby was just holding each other and cried.....
After our 4 day vacation we left from London straight to New York. We got to stay with my brother in law for 4 months, my husband was with no work and everyday he sent out work applications to try to get a job, finally after 4 months of sweat and tears he got a job interview in Ohio and he got the job!!
We moved here in March 2012, started a new life... Despite what have happened back home we were determined to start over, buy everything over again, furniture, toys for the boys everything had to be bought all over.... But we did it!! Bit by bit each month we bought new stuff, I remember we lived with no couch for months before we could afford one. But we had each other!!!�� And I found out I was pregnant with our 3 son in early May 2012 right after we moved.

I have a lot of days where I'm very sad and cry a lot because I don't see my older kids... but I had to make a very though choice back then. I knew my older son and daughter lived with their dad's but I also knew if we didn't escape we would lose two more kids, and I knew I couldn't live with that, I wouldn't be here today if that was the outcome.....:cry:
I have contact with my older kids via Skype and they are getting older now. And one day we will be reunited I know we will��
When they are old enough they will come visit and that will be the day my heart will feel complete again!!

This is also a reason why I think I want this last baby so bad..... I lost my two oldest kids, not lost as in dead but I lost them as in not getting to see them grow up, being there for them in sad times or good times�� Comfort them when they need their mommie...

I'm sorry it took a little long to write this, it was very long but I had to take breaks writing because I couldn't hold my tears back... yes I have half a box of Kleenex left....

I try to live my days as it's my last, because you never know what tomorrow will bring��
This is my life but I will live it to the fullest!!

Star that is something , i honestly respect you to the fullest for everything you had to go through and the fact that you know you will be reunited with your other two babies . You was right , kleenex was definitely needed. I do admire how strong and unbreakable your bond is with your husband , with something like this id say try not to over think what could be , enjoy your time together and it will happen , dont stress your self out over this because if you are then it wont be any good for you or the little bean :) x
 
I should have waited until I was home to read this.

I'm not sure how to even offer my deepest sympathy for everything you have been put through. I am so so very sorry and I can definitely understand why you want another child so badly. I hope your oldest kids come and join you when they are of legal age and stay for good. I am so sorry hun. *hugs*
 
Thank you so so much Nigthfire:cry: And I'm sorry you read it before you got home💜
 
Thank you so much for your kind words Harlot and Nigthfire 💜 Its been some 4 though years but with my husband and our 3 boys here ill know I will survive! And who knows maybe hubby turns around soon and wants to commit a 100% giving me one last little bean:winkwink:
But he is a more rational thinker than me and see all the financial stuff that goes out and I don't see that all the time. But we'll see what happens. I'm getting my physical exam this Tuesday and will talk to my doctor about how my cycles has change since January and figure out why it has changed. Got to start somewhere:winkwink:
I'm so happy to be on this forum and have you ladies to talk to😘
 
Hopefully you will get your little bean , you might just end up with twins ;)
My OH is the same , he thinks about the practical side of things , like at the moment were saving to buy our first house and he keeps saying we cant afford another child but iv had many very deep conversations with him about it and hes came round to the idea now , maybe it might be worth you trying with your OH star :)
Its abit sneeky of me but i started planning family days out for us to get him to see that one more child would make the world of difference to us and our little boy , so that it doesnt feel like were missing something and at the end of that day he agreed with me that it feels like we should have another one :)
I am glad that i commented on this post , it is nice having other people to talk to about things , to have others opinions , it does make a difference when you do have some lovely people to speak too
Keep us updated with how things go and what the tests are coming back as :) x
 
a quick question ladies , have you had vivid dreams about doing a test and it coming back positive and then dreaming about having twins ?

About a week and half go i dreamt that i got up in the morning as i normally do , went to the bathroom and took a frer test , i dipped it in the pot and when i took it out it was a cbd that said 'pregnant 2-3' .
Last night another dream but this time i was lying in bed with my other half and i has a little bump but you could see 2 perfect outlines of TWO babies , the one on the right pushed its hand out and my other half put his finger on the hand .

im abit worried haha the last time i started dreaming things like this i was in fact pregnant with my son , i dreamt i was in hospital on 26th October 2014 at 10:10pm on the night and i was by a window , it later turned out i was in hospital on that exact day at that exact time . Wondering if you ladies have ever had things like this and how it turned out for you , if it did happen x
 

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