Sorry, long rantish, need advice :(

[mackenzie]

My husband and I are self employed, we run a restaurant. We had a lovely we girl at the tail end of June, and since then I have kept on top of staff rotas, paying wages, vat returns, paying bills, doing all of the housework/ washing and caring for our beautiful girl, which is a pleasure, while my husband works long hours in the kitchen early til late at night. We are ebf, and I haven't been more than half an hour away from our daughter since she was born, we have tried to give her ebm in a bottle a few times and she's nor having it.
My dilema is that we are short a waitress this sat and Sunday and my husband is pressuring me to do the shift. It's from 4:30 to around 12 and he says he can get the night off to look after her and we do live next door so theoretically I could nip through to feed her when necessary. But I can't stop crying now. My husband has said that he doesn't understand why women cant work for so long after having a baby and I just don't know what to say to him. Am I being really daft? Should I just do it, am I making a mountain out of a molehill? Thank you for your advice! Xxx

 

[bathbabe]

personally i would do it, but thats me. It is entirely up to you. If you dont want to do it could you not ask a friend or family member to do it for you? Dont feel pressured into it before your ready, it takes alot the first time you leave your baby for the first 'long' time. Not really much help, sorry xxx

 

[littleone2010]

I dont know, I would probably do it- although making the comment about women not working after having a baby is really not helping the situation!
I dont think you are making a mountain AT ALL. it sounds like you are taking a lot on with all the vat stuff and managing staff- no wonder you are emotional poor thing.. Its not even like you are just looking after your daughter- it sounds like you are managing from home and doing everything else.. I wouldnt be able to do it personally but you sound a bit more determined than me. If it were me I would sit down with my DH and talk seriously about things- I mean you are expected to be staff on tap, manage other staff, do cleaning ect and look after the LO?? I think he is expecting too much but I suppose its different when you have your own business, really hope you feel better soon, and im amazed at all your are doing! It makes me feel bad thqat I moan about looking after LO constantly as i have no family or friends where we live... doh!! Hugs xxx

 

[emma3997]

I might be misreading your post, but if your husband can get the night off to watch LO, can't he just do the waitressing shift?

I don't think you're overreacting at all, totally understand. I would probably do the shift if it was me, but I'd be stressing all night-what if LO needed a feed in the middle of a busy period?

Maybe shift share with hubbie? Hope you manage to resolve it. Hugs x

 

[Buffy71]

It's so so hard leaving lo for the first time. 2 and a bit months is so tiny still - I totally understand why you're stressed about leaving her.

Having said that - you'll be right next door, so if you enjoy waitressing and fancy a breath of non baby related normality, do it. The plus side is you can pop in for a quick cuddle under the guise of seeing if she needs a feed!

I think the real issue is your hubby's extremely bad attitude, lack of respect for everything you're doing (which by the way is so much more than I was up to doing for a good while longer - you're amazing honey) and his lack of appreciation of everything you're doing for your family already. It's great that he's a grafter and is working his socks off for his family, but you are too and he needs to realise that!

I suggest if he's taking the evening off to look after lo (congrats by the way!) then you set him some chores to do so he doesn't just get to waft about on the sofa looking after lo and thinking it's a doddle.

Just one thing (that just occurred to me) do you think he just wants some alone daddy time with lo?

to you - I think you're doing a flippin fantastic job. Xxx