And I'm not sure how I feel about that? has anyone here used a sperm donor. It's a big decision with a lot of questions. Do we tell people, do we tell the child, emotionally how is it on the parents, on the man?
I used a sperm donor to conceive my two kids because my husband also did not have any viable sperm and we thought the odds of them fixing that were small. It was an easy decision for us, but probably made easier by how open-minded my husband is. He really embraced the idea and refers to our daughters as "half-adopted". In some ways it was harder for me. I wish I had the joy of seeing parts of my husband emerge in my children.
My older daughter is very much like me. My baby (almost 1), I can already tell takes after the donor in some ways. Since I'm really grateful for our donors that is good, but it can also be a bit disconcerting.
We still have a hard time deciding what to say when to people. Our close friends and family all know, but some extended family members don't know. People tell me all the time that our daughters take after my husband and we just smile... its odd like that.
My older daughter still isn't quite old enough to understand the distinction. The one time she asked where babies come from I tried to be up front about special ways babies can be made, but I don't think she got it. We never found a children's book that really matched our story (since we used a known donors), but someday perhaps we'll write our own.
Most of the time now, we just don't remember that their origins were any different... their Daddy is everything to them and we are a happy family together... so we'll handle the rest we it comes up again.